Fawkes on the Run

On November 5 in the year 1605, England held a celebration for the opening of Parliament. Guy Fawkes, in protest over the Protestant leadership's treatment of Catholics, conspired to ignite a revolution by using gunpowder to blow up the building. Oh, and he wanted to include in his great bonfire, the Royal Family. As kindling.

There was probably a more diplomatic way to spark a protest, but what do I know? I didn't live then, so I can't really say if this was a last resort effort to get someone to listen. I know as a wife and mom, one may take desperate measures to fire up those around her.

Unfortunately for Mr. Fawkes he was caught before he could destroy Parliament and now, over 400 years later we celebrate his determination (to end the torturing and hangings of Catholics) by having a grand bonfire and fireworks complete with a burning effigy of the ill-fated chap.

What's not to understand?

Remember, remember the fifth of November,

The gunpowder treason and plot,

I know of no reason

Why the gunpowder treason

Should ever be forgot.

I think for most, bonfire night means refueling friendships by having a little outdoor party with drink and music.
For my kids, it means fireworks and cheesy light up toys.
For me, it's a little macabre when they throw Guy on the barbie, made worse by watching children happily dragging their Guy Fawkes effigy up for consideration in a contest just before throwing him into the bonfire.

If you're feeling a little deja vu-ey, you're o.k. I did write about this last year and had pictures to share, but this year it's just me and the kids and the hubby in our cozy house.
Don't worry, we're not protesting. We like a good effigy burning as much as anyone, our bonfire is just on another night.

Good times, people. Living here is a blast (sorry, I couldn't help myself).

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/allison-kilkenny/guy-fawkes-protesters-fin_b_346720.html&cp

I'm Not a Doctor But I Play One on the Phone

So, Number One Son calls up, "You're a mother..."

Well...thank you...?

Apparently "Mother" in his eyes means one can diagnose illness and prescribe the appropriate treatment over the phone.

I diagnosed, from 5000 miles away, that he was suffering the beginning stages of H1N1 and prescribed what he should do.

He is a young man with a mind of his own. I really wish he just wouldn't waste my time and energies if he's not going to listen to what he asks me to tell him.

Two days later, the hospital diagnoses him. I was right. What can I say? I do NOT get paid enough.

Funny thing about all of this?
He was at work AT THE HOSPITAL as a CNA when the fever hit and he WENT HOME TO CALL ME.
Wow.

Now in this same exciting week, I had to postpone my reluctantly-agreed-to Jamie At Home party (I am SUCH a sucker. Please, if you need to sell something, come right here --just follow the giant "S") because so many people have been stricken with this flu.
The consultant admitted she was also feeling poorly and I gave a couple of suggestions, mainly that this is not your general I'll-be-ok-in-a-day-or-two flu.

Her response kind of caught me off guard, "What are you, a Doctor?"
Rude.

I do NOT get paid enough.

Let's Talk Turkey

I was considering, in this 30 days of nothingness posts, that a recipe or two might be considered a post.
What better recipe to share this time of year then the roast turkey I swear by?

My husband has been the Tday guinea pig one time too many as I tried out recipes mild and recipes for the insane. There was the year that I took Martha Stewart's advice and laid stock- soaked cheesecloth over my turkey while it cooked.
What a pain in my backside.
NEVER, ever waste cranberry/pumpkin pie/homemade dinner rolls time basting a cheesecloth every third eye blink.

We now have a set menu with all of the "bests" I have found over the years-- including orange-zested cranberries, Pineapple Sweet Potato Poon, and Chocolate Pecan Pie. Our table is a carnival of flavors peaking with the most flavorful turkey you can imagine.

I wouldn't ever want to be considered insensitive to readers so in fairness, let's first learn how to make a Peanut Butter Tofu Vegetarian Turkey, shall we?




Or not.

Dry-Cured Rosemary Turkey
First Place Turkey in Sunset Magazine's Thanksgiving Recipe contest

Use a turkey that hasn't been infused with broth or butter (why let them have all the fun when you can slide your hand under turkey skin to butter it up yourself?)

3 Tablespoons Sea Salt (or Kosher salt)
3 Tablespoons dried Marjoram
3 Tablespoons dried Thyme
3 Tablespoons dried Juniper berries-- do NOT leave this part out. If I can find them here, you can find them there.
1 Tablespoon black peppercorns
2 teaspoons Anise seeds
1 turkey, 14-15 pounds
12 fresh Rosemary Sprigs (3 inches each)
12 cloves of garlic, peeled
1/2 cup (1/4 lb) unsalted butter at room temp.

Three days before serving, finely grind salt, marjoram, thyme,juniper berries, peppercorns and anise seed.

Remove and discard leg truss from the turkey.
Pull off any lumps of fat.
Remove all "goodies" from turkey cavity (sorry if this sounds patronizing, but my sister-in-law cooked her turkey with the stuff still in place--two years in a row).
Rinse turkey inside and out and pat dry.
Cut off wing tips and reserve for gravy.
Rub herb mixture all over the body and sprinkle any remaining in the cavity.
Cover and chill for THREE days.

Three days up already?

Preheat oven to 325˚ (convection not recommended). Put Rosemary sprigs and garlic inside turkey body cavity. Gently push your hand between the skin and the turkey breast to separate the skin from the breast, fun times people...
Spread about half of the butter under the skin.

Melt remaining butter and brush lightly (don't rub your rub off!) over the top of the turkey.

Coat a V-shaped rack with cooking-oil spray and set in a 12 x 17-inch roasting pan. Place turkey breast down on the rack. Roast for approx. 1 3/4 hours.

Now if you don't believe me regarding the ingredients or just how good this turkey is (or maybe you want the pan gravy recipe that goes with it), pop over here to Sunset's original recipe!

Crumbs, I'm hungry now. I wonder if it's acceptable to have Thanksgiving several times in November?
Gorgeous turkey photo from Monica Buck, Sunset Magazine, November 2005 issue

Eye Can't See You

I'm going to the eye doctor today. I'm tired of squinting at the cinema screen and seeing two full moons once a month (full moons make me a little crazy-- I certainly don't need two).

No easy task getting an appointment in the military medical facilities, but I did it.
Wait, no I didn't, the hubby had to throw his stripes around.

The process goes something like this:

• Begin calling Appointment Line at 7:59 because they open at 8:00.
• Get recording that tells you Appointment Line is closed.
• Call back to get a busy signal

OR

• receive the message telling you that the next available operator will get to you.

Did I mention that each time you listen to a five minute description of what to do if you didn't want the Appointment Line?

• Push more buttons when prompted.
• 8:14 get a live voice who tells you all of the appointments for the day are taken.

Well, that's what you get at the stateside bases.
Here, I learn that all of the appointments for November are now taken.
I called on October 26th.

• After much prodding on my part, I get the live voice to tell me that MAYBE if I call back on Monday (one week away), something will have been cancelled and I can get that-- for sometime in November.

Sexy Guy called two hours later to demand to know why the appointments for dependents are nearly impossible to get. They scheduled me for today. Go figure.

It's no wonder I've gone a year with a chipped tooth and am just now seeing an Optometrist TEN years after my last appointment.

Anyone want to break out into a verse or two of "I can see clearly now..."?

And She's Off...

...to a brilliant start. I nearly forgot to post today.
Today marks the beginning of thirty days of nonsensical posts and me whacking my head against the wall in wonder of why I do this to myself every year.
NaBloPoMo has started again. If you recall last year I said, "Never again", but the really great thing about having brain cells eaten up by five births is that one tends to jump in with both feet to things one shouldn't because one can't really remember what it was like last time (same thing can't be said for the five deliveries-- I remember them vividly and there won't be a sixth!).
So, fair warning: Delete me from your readers now. It won't be pretty. There might be ranting about the XFactor that will mean nothing to you bloggers out of the UK... for example,

WHO decided that Danyl Johnson was the "most hated contestant"? The media?!
The same media that was hedging bets that he'd be the first to go?

Where was the media when we were all demanding Dannii's head when she made the totally inappropriate comment about his personal life? Did THAT look like audience"hate" towards a man that is clearly an exceptional singer?

Don't get me started about how Cheryl and Dannii are fueling the so called "hate" with their comments, "Your arrogance..." "Your cockiness" "You are not connecting with the audience" etc.
WHAT? Last night the hubby and I turned to each other, "Did we miss something?"

BTW Cheryl, it's obvious you don't like Danyl but your nasty little snippets are enough to make me NOT want to buy your music no matter how catchy I find it. Trying to make him appear arrogant and cocky will NOT keep your people in longer.

OH, and Louis comment, "My guys (John and Edward) get all sorts of mean headlines, but they come out every week smiling".
That's because "your guys" are a joke. This competition to them is a joke. Danyl actually wants this-- no wonder it's hard to get on the stage with all the fuss in the press against him.

Danyl, if the media were in our living room with cameras rolling, you might enjoy watching 3 little boys chanting your name at the TV while waiting for the results to be read out and an entire family cheer as you are declared safe. An entire family who sees nothing but a fabulous performer and talented singer.
I imagine that there's many more households like it. It's unfortunate the media can't cover the real news.