Information Please

So many things are missing from our lives these days.

Remember when the broadcasting day ended with a black and white video of a flag waving in the breeze to the tune of the Star Spangled Banner? There was no staying up through the night only to greet children bleary-eyed and grumpy the next morning just so that one could watch the season finale of Desperate Housewives at midnight.

And the nasally voice that was always there, always willing to help...

"Operator, May I Help you?"

I wish we still had Operator assistance.

I would ask if she could tell me where my son's football kit went. I washed it (and the track suit) to return to the team he's leaving... I now only have the track suit top. Socks, shorts, shirt and track bottoms have all just vanished.

I'd also ask her why the military "powers that be" make illogical policies.
Is it really more cost-effective to post a troop and his large family overseas, then pluck that military member out of job to deploy him-- now paying for a family to live overseas while they bring in another military person from somewhere else to cover the firsts' job? Wouldn't it be cheaper to just fly someone from the states where the family is NOT receiving overseas housing allowance?
Not that I'm complaining, I love it here.  
They can pay my overseas housing costs for the rest of my life if they have that kind of money to throw around.

While I have Miss Operator on the line, I'd ask her how she felt about the ELO song...

And then maybe tell her a joke or two:  

-*-  A young man called directory assistance. "Hello, operator, I would like the telephone number for Mary Jones in Phoenix, Arizona.""There are multiple listings for Mary Jones in Phoenix," the operator replied. "Do you have a street name?" The young man hesitated, and then said, "Well, most people call me Ice Man." 

-*-  After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend's new telephone number, I dialed him and got a woman. "Is Robert there?" I asked. "He's in the shower," she responded. "Please tell him his girlfriend called," I said and hung up.

When he didn't return the call, I dialed again. This time a man answered. "This is Robert," he said.

"You're not my boyfriend!" I exclaimed.

"I know," he replied. "That's what I've been trying to tell my wife for the past half-hour."


 

But sadly, there is no pressing "0" any more.  
All I have is Google 
and it has no idea where the newly-washed football kit is... 

Missing Kit, but not the bib or neon-green gloves

Sometimes technology isn't all that it's cracked up to be.

What are you missing?

No Need to Say Goodbye

This dusty blog seems to have lost a lot of followers. I'm not going to take it personally considering I have had NO time to reciprocate comments for the last couple of months. 

On the few visits I did make, Blogger did not do me any favors in my need to type comments quickly before being busted for slipping away to the computer room (while supposedly spending quality time with the fam).

Anyone else having blogger issues?

The Sexy guy has begun his beach (without water) holiday. It's been especially hard for the kids this time-- and for the first time, he was emotional about leaving.
Usually he just "mans up", mumbling stuff about "his job" and "that's the life we signed up for", but this time he was right there with me, "This sucks!"

He scared me a bit with the way he prepared us this time too. A little too thorough, which tells me there's concern on his part (he usually swears there is none). He really made an extra effort to spend some quality time together, even suffering one whole afternoon driving me from field to field to take photos.

 

As the taillights of the taxi faded in the dark hours of incredibly early, all I could think of was, "I didn't get a proper kiss!" 
It was enough to make me want to throw sleeping kids in the car to follow him to the airport.
Stupid me, trying to put on a brave face and see him off smiling meant that I gave him a kiss his mother could have given him.

And this afternoon, Miss Ky, who is only really experiencing this for the first time (she was too young last time), said, "Stop talking about Daddy because I want to have him".
Bless her little heart.
She and her brother spent the afternoon painting pictures and writing cards for their Daddy.

Deployments never get any easier... and  I'm not willing to practice until I've perfected it.

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."  ~Carol Sobieski and Thomas Meehan, Annie

I Read, Therefore I Am

Today is my birthday.

I used to spend the day of my birthday in tears. Now I go all out and start the day before. Don't ask me why, I have no issues with the actual aging process.

Yesterday was over spilled milk. I had a real full-on boo hoo when a full cup of milk went over on the white carpet that a child who will remain anonymous spilled even though she's been told a gazillion times that no drinks are allowed in there.

I spent the rest of the day dreading going to the youth group where I knew the girls were up to planning some sort of surprise. I hate surprises.
When we all got there at 7 pm, one girl came in carrying a lot of bags. The dread set in. I didn't feel well, only just recovered from some nasty tummy bug on wednesday and I know my smile looked forced.
She began pulling out tins and boxes--filled with...

sewing stuff! Yay! As the evening went on with no surprises, I got happier and happier and was downright giddy as I left the building.

This morning, I swore I'd be more enthusiastic. I opened my eyes and the first words from my mouth were "Flush the toilet!"

Never once have I told my kids not to flush a toilet when people are sleeping, so that excuse is not working... and skipping hand washing? Really? How loud can one wash hands? It's going to be just another day...

So, I slip downstairs and there is a package waiting for me...

I never know with the hubby and wonder in awe at his thought process.
This year tops it I think. There's two books wrapped together. He knows I like to read, knows I've sent us into the poor house downloading books onto the iPad, only I think he's forgotten the time and care I put into choosing a book... I can only try to understand why he's picked these two books out of an entire store.

And then I remember last night as he asked about "The Forgotten Garden". I told him that the author is Kate Morton and I quickly made sure he knew that I had EVERYTHING she's written... He replied with, "Tesco has a sale on books, buy one get one..."

Men.

His Father's Day gift that I have planned out since April? I can guarantee you it was not on a buy one get one free offer...

Speaking of books...

don't say I've never done you any favors.
RUN do not walk to your nearest book shop (app) and pick up "The Help"by Kathryn Stockett. You can thank me later. I will warn you, DON'T read it quickly, you will regret not pacing yourself.

I'm off to find a matinee somewhere. The thought of sitting in a dark cinema alone, not escorting someone to the toilet every five minutes sounds like Heaven. Any non-child friendly movie suggestions?

Astrology Is Being Replaced

I may know that you're a Leo and I'm a Gemini, but I don't rush to the morning paper to see who I should interact with.
I don't plot my month around which sun is in my moon sign or whatever it is that people do.
My life path doesn't interfere with what I may eat for lunch today and my Destiny number doesn't keep me from buying more scrapbooking paper on a Wednesday. Cards and dice can't predict my future and tea leaves never touch my cup...

but what I can believe in is iPod Destiny. I don't think I will ever start another day without consulting my music library!

I just picked this wonderful life-changing tidbit up from Pearl, who is wiser than any crossed legged Tibetan Monk (and she's fun to read as well) and am ready to put my music into action.

So here goes...

my iPod shuffle forecast for the weekend is:

"Marry You" by Bruno Mars
"Crawling Up a Hill" by Katie Melua
ELO's "Evil Woman"
"Save Me" by Queen
and "Don't Stop Me Now", also by Queen (my iPhone tends to get stuck on a theme when shuffling, so I figure the next twenty songs will also be from Queen).

Hmmmmm....

What I interpret from this is more of a message for the Hubby, through me, his wise wife.

"Yes, I did Marry You even though most days it's like Crawling Up a Hill.  Let's face it, I'm an Evil Woman. You may think you can Save Me, but I'm telling you, Don't Stop Me Now".

Not very satisfying. I was hoping there'd be something along the lines of "Never eat donuts just before bed on National Donut Day because you will have dreams of half-kitten/half-scorpions biting you", not some message to pass on to Sexy Guy.  Maybe I don't have enough songs on my iPhone.

Go ahead, tell me what your music predicts for you this weekend...

Quick, Take a Pic!

I may be a hoarder...
(never admit guilt)

who could possibly use intervention...
(possibly. I'd rather everyone be wrong and there be no need for intervention)

and most likely seeks advice.
(from people whose opinions matter than those whom I am living with)

When someone mails you photos of their children,

who are easily 10-15 years older than when you saw them last,

do you save those photos?

Where do you put them? 

In a book? 

In a frame?

What if your own children photos sit in  a hard drive somewhere in the grand company of 40,000 other photos?

I just left the dinner table after receiving a thorough ribbing from the Husband.

He seems to think that my photographic accumulation is a problem.

What do you think? Where is the cut off for too many photos?

I may be a hoarder...