My special Macbaby monitor reduces me to ugly threats if a child gets fingers too close to it. You know, one of those excited, "There's me!!" when their chubby face appears on the screen that automatically draws that pudgy little finger up close. DO NOT TOUCH MOMMY's COMPUTER.
BUT
be a nasty, annoying, little fly and I will smash you with the first large item I grab-- monitor or not.
The #1 Son is ASVAB testing today (does this seem like deja vu?) and has been told to contact us the minute he gets his results.
BUT
I am dragging four children to London in the morning, maybe telling the #1 Son to ring me at 3 am was a bad idea?
Back to bugs/creeping things, I called out to my husband from the bathroom to save me from a five-foot tall spider (ok, maybe a slight exaggeration),
BUT
when he sucked it up into the vacuum and the kids laughed hysterically, we had an "All God's Creations" discussion right there. The next massive spider was caught into a container and taken outside where God's other creations could eat it.
BUT
Maybe I should just relocate them into my computer room to control the flies?
AND
Maybe I don't want to have an iPad for free. Have you ever thought of that? Is anyone else tired of the spam circulating about iPads?
AND
Imagine some old lady rings your house EVERY day, "Dorothy?"
"No, I'm sorry, you've got the wrong number."
"Who is this?!"
"There's no Dorothy here, you've mis-dialed..."
EVERYDAY.
Today she went straight into her shopping list, "Dorothy, I need 2 pints of milk".
What do you do?
Maybe your mysterious caller has watched The Wizard of Oz just one time too many.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on the 'free iPad' spam…I can't believe that people are still falling for all of those things that are much too good to be true.
Hi! HIHIHIHIHI!!!! Sounds like you're having a normal day in the Grockle household. Did you pause your life while I was gone? ;)
ReplyDeleteNo time to catch up on all your posts today, but soon!
I hate bugs. All God's creatures are wonderful. Except bugs. They must be destroyed.
ReplyDeleteSaying a prayers for #1 Son that the testing goes smoothly and all is well.
London with four littles? Wow. You are brave. Good luck! I mean, have fun!
i hope son's testing goes a bit more smoothly this time.
ReplyDeleteooh london. jealous. i might head down to the walmart after a bit.
lol. i too have a spider relocation program. i won't give you the lecture (this time) on spiders not being bugs, since i lump a lot of non-bugs into creepy-crawley-i-call-it-bug territory.
When she calls tomorrow tell her Dorothy is not in at the moment, can you take her number and have Dorothy call her when she gets in..THEN...call her everyday until she finally gets it through her head that Dorothy DOES NOY LIVE HERE!
ReplyDelete"ethel, I'm so glad you called. I need you to get over here right away with that vibrator you borrowed. and make sure you wash it before returning it"
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your trip to London!
ReplyDeleteCaller id, followed by reverse phone lookup.
ReplyDeleteCall the woman. Ask for Dororthy's number...maybe you can find out how she's misdialing.
So did you say you were giving out free iPads then?
ReplyDeleteI'm just wondering how son's thing went? Honestly I'm not even sure what you are talking about... something for the military right? ... I didn't realize it was so hard to get in!! Fascinating.
ReplyDeleteoh- and painted maypole's comment above made me howl with laughter. I totally dare you to do it. Bwahahahahaha.
I love that you said take the spider out where other bugs can eat it...that is hilarious because it is so true. Ha.
ReplyDeleteI get calls for people trying to get hold of JC Blinds....Nope, no blinds here...well, broken ones, yeah, but nothing anyone would want to buy.
Cute post!! You had my daughter and I both giggling.
ReplyDeleteHope your son's asvab's go well.
Maybe the next time the lady calls, respond by calling her Aunty Em and let her know Dorothy got sucked into another dimension and you're the wicked witch of the East waiting for her to come back so you can kick her you know what for killing your sister. Or was it the wicked witch of the East who got it? You know, I think it's late, and I should go to bed.
word verif is "mersour" and it's in green. Sour grapes?
I relocated spiders and all kinds of creepy crawlies! Even Black Widows!! I know! Brave or did you just call me stupid? Ha!
ReplyDeletePoor lady! Looking for Dorothy!! And waiting for her two pints of milk! I like the call her back suggestion! That might just work!!
Good luck
Hugs
SueAnn
I hat spiders and now K and I have moved out I have to deal with them. I know they are all Gods creatures but suer He will forgive me if I splat it!
ReplyDeleteAs for the phone calls, my new number is similar to the local vet, I am sick of getting calls about birthing cattle and lame puppies.
So I am not the only one who "attracts" strange older people???
ReplyDeleteI find the phone calls sort of funny. I think you should find out just who Dorothy is (obviously someone younger and able to shop for the phone lady), contact HER and explain that the lady keeps calling you. Maybe her speed dial is mis-programmed!
I poured vodka on my mac. Not pretty. And no one to blame but myself. So, Dorothy, would you pick me up some olives, too?
ReplyDelete"where God's other creations could eat it"
ReplyDeleteHA HA HA HA! Well, of course! You have to keep the food chain going.
Great post, J! Made me giggle and giggle again. :-)
Next time someone calls for Dorothy with a shopping list just say, 'yes dear, do you need me to pick up anything else.'
ReplyDeleteGood luck to your son on his ASVAB.
I'm with Krista. Get her number and call HER every stinking day :-)
ReplyDeleteHappy weekend, jj
Just pretend you are Dorothy. It could be fun. :) I have missed reading your posts, but now I'm back! Hugs/ Jo.
ReplyDelete