Mean Mom

Anyone considering jumping ship and coming over to be adopted by us, you may want to think again.

We're the meanest parents ever. We believe that if you're not old enough to register for something, then you're not old enough to have the account. There's a reason there are age restrictions on things.

But, I got suckered. I felt bad that we were restricting our kids in their internet use when everyone else around them had thrown caution to the wind. Kids as young as my 7 year-old have a Facebook account. (MY seven year-old doesn't!)

I started asking around. One group of moms told me that yes, they lied on the registration for their kids to have an account, but that they have full control of it. The kids have to come to them to get signed in.
I want to raise a child with integrity--something that seems in short demand with the youth that we come in contact with--would getting him an account before he's old enough to register on his own send a mixed message?

Well, I gave in. I put a lot of faith in my boy who will turn 13 this summer. I argued his case to his dad, and against his concerns, the boy got an account. Several days were spent in a giddy cloud of friend requests and silly messages. I helped him upload some photos. We kept a close eye on him, but he had the control. All was going well and we've even had some great teaching moments about conversations, internet etiquette and privacy protection.

And then I suggested he try to find his best friend that he had while living in the states.

Big mistake.

This morning, I happened across one of the nastiest, most vulgar conversations I have ever read. I was mortified. You know the saying, "You kiss your mama with that filthy mouth"?
Yes, yes he does.

Some gangsta wanna-be had attacked him while he was chatting on a friend's wall. He was threatened not only by the little moron, but the friend he had only re-found and was trying to reconnect with was "liking" the gangsta's remarks to the boy.

Boy was sent to school with a firm telling off and all of his afternoon plans canceled. I then erased all of his nasty retorts (his grandmother could see these!), which only baited the little gangsta jerk more as he taunted (who he thought was still my son) about erasing his comments. I completely un-friended the little nasty creature that he once enjoyed playing baseball with.

TWELVE. These kids are twelve years old.

Am I swimming upstream? I want my kids to be honest, trustworthy, non-materialistic human beings, how do I do that when their peers have so much handed to them and seem to possess very little parental intervention? Why does it seem (to me) that parents aren't more protective of their child's childhood? If I kill his communication ability, I make him a joke. If I continue to support it, I am telling other parents that it's ok to rush your kid into adulthood.

I'm at a loss as to where we go from here...