or nothing.” – Helen Keller
My adventurous spirit is hiding under the covers in a quivering mess.
When did this happen?
Where is the woman who would jump on a plane, last minute to travel to a foreign country-with a three-month old baby, no grasp of the language whatsoever and no reservations?
Where's the woman who decided that no transportation wouldn't deter her from walking around the Italian countryside alone at night in a downpour?
The shell left behind from her sudden departure had a mini meltdown a few months back. "I've lost the person I used to be!" She wailed. "My free spirit has died!" She bemoaned.
”Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that
you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain
So the Sexy Guy decided he must fix it. Because that's what men do when the little woman is a hot mess of blubbering nonsense, they fix it.
And fix it he did. So he thinks.
He booked an international flight for one scared-of-her-own-passport wife and said, "There. All better?"
"NO I AM NOT ALL BETTER. I can't drive your car, the shift is on the wrong side. And parking at the airport is insane and I'll be doing it while trying to shift with my left hand. And what if I get there late and my rental car (which also shifts on the wrong side) is a problem or I drive around in the dark for so long that I miss my B&B check in?"
"WHAT IF MISS KY HAS A BAD FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL?"
Yes, I will miss the first day of school.
Every confirmation that comes through my email box reignites the anxiety. "You must check in online and print your boarding pass..." Where's the paper bag, I need to breathe! "Print your airport parking confirmation to show..." in and out, in and out...
I miss my 34-year old self. But I'm not sure if throwing the older, scared version into the deep end is the best way to teach her how to swim on her own again.
“Remember what Bilbo used to say: It’s a dangerous business, Frodo,
going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your
feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.” – JRR Tolkien