Happy April Flea's Day

102 entries + great blogs (some new, some old favorites) read by me + one confused kid
and one annoyed kid = End of the British Candy/great CD/my latest read Giveaway. The winner IS.....
Thank you every one for playing! It was hard to pick, but I put a couple of the captions that made me giggle on the Giveaway post.

The joys of school holi-daze & babies, babies everywhere

Joy 1: My living room is covered in Geo trax.
Joy 2: We're living off of frozen pizza and popcorn.
Joy 3: If I see another football game (soccer) I'll scream (the best thing is J2 has recorded games, Best Goals of the Season, etc..., so we NEVER run out of football).
Joy 4: "I'm bored" is the favorite phrase for kids who have changed clothes nine times.
Joy 5: My laundry room has never been so busy. I hate snow now.
Joy 6: My skin is as pimply as a hormonally challenged teenager (would someone throw this Easter candy out before I explode?).

Joy 7: I LIVE FOR YOUR COMMENTS! PLEAASE SOMEONE TALK TO ME.
Ahem, sorry about that.

The contest is moving along nicely. Remember, if you have entered a photo caption or Scavenger Hunt answers, I am not posting the comments until the contest closes. If you've entered by leaving a comment on a March post, it should be up and your name has been entered.

I am using this posting downtime to catch up on my blog reading and...
I'm having a baby!

Those of you who just choked on your Dr. Pepper because you know me in the real world and specifically remember my husband sitting around with a bag of frozen peas while I supervised our move, calm down.

It's a blog baby. I finally have an idea for a blog other than whinging. I have been so impressed with all of the people who seem to have a purpose in writing and have something they stand for and for the life of me, I couldn't think of anything that I feel strongly about. Really. I would suck as a juror:

Prosecution: "..so I think you'll agree with me that the only thing to do is to find Mr. Slimybottom guilty."
Me: "Yeah, you horrible, awful person. There's no salvaging you. I spit on you".
Defense: "... and with that highly questionable evidence, I'm sure you can all agree with me that Mr. Slimybottom has been accused of a crime he couldn't possibly have committed, being such a pillar of the community."
Me: "Yeah, that's terrible. That poor man. I can't believe he and his family had to go through this!"

I bend with the wind, broth-ah.

So with a lot of self-reflection (self-indulgence?) a baby has begun to grow in my head.

Maybe I should get a baby counter for my blog--although my brother, who scans my blog at best, could have a heart attack.

I can't wait for delivery!!

Lessons on how NOT to deliver a punch line

Ever get the feeling Someone upstairs has a wicked sense of humor?

My daffodils aren't laughing.

My Heather isn't giggling.

The Hyacinths are hating this...

I'm not one to tell Him how to tell a joke, but I think the delivery needs some tweaking.

Happy Easter Everyone
He is Risen!

Contest and photos will be posted tonight my time (that's today your time).

Death by Chocolate

The joys of Scrolling Saturday.
Rather than squeeze a little humour out while juggling kids, who on day two of holiday are BORED, I can just cut and paste. I like that. a lot. Contest will go up by Monday. I have the goodies ready for photographing now... oooh, I am so excited!

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

My Husband is Trying to Kill Me

I joke you not. I want you to watch for me and if a day or two passes without a new blog entry, I want you to contact the authorities. Fast.
I am not delusional, I have proof.
Today while frantically searching for the JC Penney card that I last saw in his hands when he was paying bills, I came upon a chilling discovery--- in my pajama drawer.
Why was I looking for a credit card in my pajama drawer? It's my stash-everything-in-here-quick-someone's-coming-over-drawer, and don't pretend you don't have one (or a closet, trunk, shower stall that you shove everything into when the doorbell rings).
And yes, people DO come into my bedroom. For some reason, everyone who graces our front step will ask for a tour of the house-- including the engineer who hooked up my hob and cooker (stove for you American-types). It could be because this place is massive. People will stand in our kitchen and look out the french doors across the courtyard, with the two ponds and connecting stream and ask, "Is that (pointing to the two-story bedroom side of the house) part of yours as well?"
One man who came to fetch J1 for a party we had shown up to without him (grumpy teenager, I didn't mind that he wanted to stay behind), returned to the festivities and all he could say was, "They live in the flippin' Pentagon!"

We were tremendously lucky in finding this place, but that's NOT what concerns me now. What I have thought about all day was what I found in my drawer.
In addition to a Pokemon ball, and a Creative Memories catalog, there's a box of German Truffles in a lovely gold box with a shiny blue ribbon. A gift from my husband when he returned from his vaca--I mean deployment. There's also a huge bar of some imported 70% cocoa, a monster Galaxy bar, and some British licorice mix. All brought to me at various times by my husband. My pancreas is screaming just thinking about it.
Out of curiosity, I went to my bedside table--yep, the sweets had found their way there as well.

Women who are swooning over such a thoughtful husband, please enlighten me. I don't think I have a romantic bone in my body (I might have had once, but all of my bones are tired these days and I can't make out which ones do what), I see it as his way of slowly poisoning me to get me out of the way so that he can have all of these kids (the crying, puking, peeing, pooping, mucous factories that they are) all to himself! I know it, and I fear for my life.
I'm afraid it won't be long now, he just came home from work and he brought me a life-sized Tootsie Roll! Help.

My Brilliant Musings for the day...

I know you're tuning in for some incredible introspective musings, but for the life of me I can not come up with a thing today.
I wouldn't say it's a writer's block (doesn't one need to be a writer before you can claim creative constipation?), but more--yikes, I hate to type this admission-- I'd rather finish my book.

This blogger has gotten to the point of wanting to pick the book up in between turns in Wii bowling or golf (and at bedtime when the husband dozes off, back on goes the light).

It's nearly finished, and then I can A). read the blogs that bring me so much joy ;-) and
B). Have a contest. During our Easter Break. Stupid timing for me, but I've wanted to do it for a while.


Yes, you read me right.
I am going to have a give away of a creative English hamper (goodie basket). So you lurkers, get your fingers ready... and get out your wit-sharpeners-- I'm requiring a little brain power on this one.

Sun and signs of Spring to you, and Death (and Book Thieves) to me until then....