Thank You

Thank you everyone for your kind words, encouragement and concern. I'm sorry if I haven't replied personally, but I'm still getting all of these other kids to their functions as well as frying my brain with a phone up against my head for hours at a time.

I don't have a lot to report other than it has been a really long 36 hours and I've managed to make him angry with me (and that's ok!). At one point yesterday he said "Everyone's calling and texting and I wished they'd just leave me alone".

Sometimes with J1 he needs that good, movie-type slap across the face and I gave it to him verbally: "You can NOT send out emails and phone calls threatening suicide and NOT expect us to try to intervene. You cried for help and that's what we're doing."

There were moments when I felt relief yesterday. Like when my Mom called and said she had talked him into heading to NV to stay with them for a while, but when I called him, he said that "was only in her mind", he wasn't going there.

Other moments I was angry and frustrated like when I told him he WOULD call the base (to see a "Life Skills" doctor that we provided him with the direct numbers for) and he said, "I will in a while". (I later received a text message that he played a video game and then went to sleep, therefore missing the opportunity to call them before they closed for the weekend). (!!!)

This isn't a one-time event. He hits these lows. There was one time when I was awakened by a very loud noise and I laid petrified in my bed. My only thoughts were, "He finally did it" and I didn't want to go into his room out of fear of what I would find.


You probably wonder why we never sought help for him.

We did when he was younger and he was diagnosed to have "mild depression and dislocation disorder", something attributed to our having moved 6 times in 2 years (military) and they said it would go away in 6 months. The rest of the time I chalked his severe mood swings up to teenage hormones and just really rough life experiences he was dealing with.

I can see now, that wasn't the case.

So now, we push for him to go in and be seen. We provide the phone numbers, the moral support and lose sleep. It wouldn't be any different if we were there-- he'd ignore us in person the same as he ignores our advise on the phone.


Thanks for your suggestions, your prayers and your hugs.
I won't be putting the five of us on a plane just yet, but appreciate the offers for help with the kids--especially the emails from people who understand how a military family living overseas doesn't really have the resources for leaving the other children behind. Your thoughtfulness lifted me!
I hope to thank each of you personally but it may take a while, I'm sitting on the phone with a sad, stubborn young man.

and because I can't remember how to remove an inappropriate closing signature,