Mrs. (Husband's Job)

SO not my title.

My husband entered his job as an enlisted grunt. He entered as someone who had earned an AA & an AS (in a CCF degree-- see below), graduating with a 4.0 (enabling him to wear all sorts of cool ribbons during graduation). THIS would make it easier for him to "cross over" to the "O" side when he was ready. It also helped him towards earning his work-related brownie points, so basically he was on the " Fast Track" for promoting (and supposedly gearing up to apply for O's Training School-- or OTS see below).
I started calculating our future pay.

One year passed.

"Um, dear, when do you start doing the stuff for the O thing?"

Years 2 through 5 went buzzing by before I realized this guy had no intention of crossing over. There were all sorts of reasons. One time he told me that if he became an O, there would be things expected of me as an O's wife.
"Huh, Wha....?" "EXPECTED of me? Have you ever seen my reaction when told I have to do something?"

My mom says I have always been this way, kind of rebellious, strong-willed with a "sure sense of self". I had always thought that was a compliment, but as I get older, I'm thinking maybe not so much so.
Anyway, the way I saw it, I didn't sign anything and his work's training instructor kept reminding the newbie's that "this job didn't issue you a wife!" so what do you mean, "expected" of me?

There's a certain amount of dedication that is required to be the happy, bubbly woman left commandeering an entire company sections' better halves, while smilingly supporting her guy in all that he does. She's got to look you in the eye and appear thrilled that you are having another Pampered Chef/Tupperware/Happy Homemaker party that you want her to attend. She will be the one calling you when your husband is away and handing you tissues while bouncing your snotty-nosed kid on her lap at the monthly dinners designed to get you out of the house-- that she helped organize. and baked for. and attends. every month. She will be required to participate happily in gathering funds for the parties, gifts, etc... regardless whether or not her kids schedules are killing her or she's just too blue to do it. She will look impeccably coifed at all times. Even at the gym. She will never be found standing in the post office queue with two children hanging from her leg while the baby in her arms is stretching her blouse out just so to show everyone how she should've bought that new bra... a year ago.

No thank you. Keep your pay.

Of course, there's not a handbook that says any of this.
Not that I'd be able to read it if there was.
The  Hub's company speaks a different language that I haven't quite mastered--I'm still trying not to sound daft speaking Britain-ese.
They speak in acronyms. Really.

A conversation could go something like this:

"T--- , have you prepared for your T--- to the N----?"
"Prepared, Sir?"
"Have you made sure your wife has a POA so that she can take care of your POV for your P--?"
"Uh..."
"C'Mon T---., she'll need it for T--- and F-- if you're going to make your NLD for this P--".
"Sir?"
"And she may need it in case anything goes wrong with your F--, B-- or O--, too bad you won't be getting any S-- on this one."
"Go by legal and get this taken care of ASAP. You know this P-- is going to be great for you, the C--- where you're O----- is high ...oh, and for this T--, don't forget to pack your P--"

To make things worse, my husband works in an area where they use initials.
Our first job location was an eye-opener for me. Someone rang the house asking for A---n Diaz". I told him there was no A---n Diaz there. Do you know how bad it is for an guy when his supervisor can't reach him because he's given them the wrong number? I felt so bad for the guy. I don't know when it finally occurred to me that they were calling my husband. DS.

So, Mrs (Husband's job) I am not.
I whine when I'm sad and I whine when I'm not. I begrudge him his extra time doing his "brownie point" duties and get a little resentful as he stacks his accolades. I would've sucked as an Os' wife, but maybe I'm ok as the regular guy's wife. The reason he didn't want to cross over?
He loves his job and wanted to do it as long as possible-- he would've been behind a desk as an O. I told him the pay didn't matter as long as he was happy in his job.
Although, that extra O-- and B-- would help me hire a M A I D......