Blog Blog Go away, Come again Another Day

Blessings of the Day.

Every morning, whether it's raining or shining, I wake up to fresh air. Air filled with the scent of damp, fertile earth and oceans of blossoms. Occasionally during the spring, it's a little too fresh-- as in animal freshness -- but for the most part, the air is sweet. I never give it any thought. I rarely take a moment to just breathe.

Every morning I wake up to the antics of my quick, lively children-- whether or not I want to. And there are days I don't want to. Take yesterday, when I heard them down in the dining room giggling and hiccuping in their hysterics while I was dressing... only I discovered they weren't in the dining room. They were on the trampoline in the back garden. All four of them, in their pajamas, outside at 7 am. My poor neighbors. I bet there's mornings they don't want to wake up to my lively children as well.

Every evening, I hear the "silence" of a house that's truly lived in: the washer spinning and making it's "preparing for take off" noises -- the occasional 50p coin clanging against the door, the dishwasher humming away at a plethora of uneaten food holding fast to our mis-matched dishes, the sigh of my computer as I pull it out of the deep sleep.

That may not be quiet to you, but after a day with toddler that can call dogs from miles away, and boys bickering over whose Match Attacks cards were left in the toilet-- that's quiet.

And in that quiet as I look back over the day, I have my moments of "I wish I had...".
None of which ever includes, "...spent more time on my computer while my bottom half grows larger".

So today, you're receiving this post through the magic of blogger scheduler. The heavy breathing Mac Baby isn't coming on. I'm going to attend A2's recognition ceremony for the Museum Club he participated in; say good bye to a great guy retiring from the Air Force and kiss grubby little faces (my children, not my husband's military friends) while letting the unswept dog hair swirl around our play. I will enjoy the noise and the quiet. for one day.

Surely I won't suffocate if my mouse is removed from my hand and connections to this addiction is severed for just one day....

Just breathe....

Playing in the Remains of a Dead Mermaid

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

How about that... my 200th post was a ranting heard 'round the world. I had such high hopes for #200.
So today, in lieu of a wasted day, I am listing the 200 great things in my life.

Not really-- I heard you cringe all the way over here.
I will however give you a couple of glimpses into things I have learned as a parent (because we all know that I am a current contender for a Mother of the Year award).

• Friends will come and go. You will wax and wane in importance in their lives, but your children are forever.
• Teachers will come and go. Teachers are pretty awesome for the career choices they've made, but they are not perfect. They have issues like the rest of us so don't automatically assume they are always right and your child is always wrong. Sometimes, you need to stand up for your child.
• Loyalty. Just as you like to hear your children tell their friends they know you're great, they like to hear you tell yours the same. An example: my friend Lori once dropped off a non-slumber party kid to his home and when the Mom asked if everything went alright, Lori replied, "Well, they were up pretty late, there was a lot of laughing" and the Mom smiled at her son and said, "Oh, he does have such an infectious laugh" with all the love and pride as if the kid had just saved a baby from a burning building.
• They grow fast. They stop wanting to come to your bed, to cuddle, to kiss at a much earlier age now. Don't waste a second of it. The dishes will still be there when they're in bed.
• and for my Hubby: Building forts, sleeping in the living room and making messes are what builds fond memories of "home". It cleans up. One day our house will be so clean we'll be begging neighborhood children to bring their hotwheels over for us to step on in the dark. For now, we're having a picnic in the living room and you're invited.
  

As The Stomach Turns

I have had the crap-tap-papiest day. Queen Neg-o-tivity at your reading displeasure here.
No really. I want to post something cheerful, and I have a million pictures to share, but wouldn't you rather hear from the real me? (That's your cue to turn back now).

I woke up to this email :
"bad things are happening.
i need to call you as soon as i can, so be ready.."
From Son #1.
The child who may or may not turn 20 this summer. It was sent at 4:35am my time, and I responded by 7am.

And then I waited.

And then I sent this:

"In the future:
could you please at least summarize what you'll be calling about, because as you let me sit, I am imagining every bad scenario there is. Remember recently when you sent me information on what stress does to your body? Well I suffer with stress too. I have stresses you don't even know about, so if there are bad things happening, spit it out so that I can start processing it instead of sitting here worrying while you are probably asleep."

And then I waited.

I didn't go shopping. I didn't leave our house.

Maybe I should clarify why I would sit around at a young man's beck-n-call.

I have hinted at this in the past, only hinted because I didn't feel like it was appropriate to sling mud on my blog. I'm slinging now. Forget slinging, I'm wrestling in it-- me and all my size 14 glory.

J1 is involved with a girl whose parents may be a few fries short of a Happy Meal. The Dad is the one that frightens me the most. By 3 pm today when he still hadn't called, I was pretty sure the Dad had killed him. Even though it was only about 8am his time.
I took a break from email watch to fetch the other boys from school and when I returned, I had email!

Only, it wasn't from him. It was a NASTY gram from someone I consider a pretty decent friend.

I have to explain more... (read my mind will you, my hand is cramping).

When Son #1 no longer had a job and was forced to look back into college, he just packed up and went. No job, no home. Truthfully, he drove over to check out the school, talked to a few people and then decided he would do it. Within a couple of weeks. This friend of mine offered him a place to stay. I assumed it was until he got everything lined up and got an apartment.
I encouraged him to hurry, not take advantage of their generosity, and then I talked to the Hubby about maybe slipping her and her husband cash to cover any additional expenses he would cause.

I didn't ask her to do this.

Maybe she somehow felt she "owed" it to me, since we flew her over here to England.
Yes, that's right... I emailed her (when Hubby was playing Army) and told her I was about to have a nervous breakdown and she replied, "I'll come over, I have time off for a family reunion, but I'll come help you instead". I was so thrilled she would do this for me. The Hubby emailed, "I'll pay her way if she can come help you".
When I suggested that to her, she said, "I'll pay half".
Isn't that great?
And then she asked us to book it since she couldn't. And then she bought a business. And then she was broke (could no longer pay half), regretted telling me she would come (she really wanted to be there to gear up for the business she'd be taking over), spent the entire time wanting to be in contact with her husband (to discuss the new business) and wanted me to drive her to charity shops (to get the scoop on them-- yes, she bought a charity shop).
She informed me she wasn't interested in seeing sights, "Been there, done that," and so my children, who were without their father and pretty near without their mother spent the beginning of their summer break sitting in the back seat of a car while I drove her to shops.

But I'm not bitter. Because she was my friend and even though she didn't come over to give me a break and help with the kids, she did think about it and it's the thought that counts.

So the email I got today?

She informed me that the girlfriend's bipolar mom has been calling her house and "J1 has done this and J1 has done that"-- a smear campaign like you have never heard.
Whether or not my son is a childmolestingpornstarpyschoticabuser or not (and he's not-- I just picked those words), would you email a friend like that?

Can I go back a little further? Like how my entire family lost our safe-haven, our comfort zone, our refuge from the world because we gathered behind her son when he went head to head with our Bishop? How we stood next to that family as they took on the Stake Presidency and later the Mission Presidency? Never in a hundred years would I have said, "Friend, you need to slap that rebellious kid up-side of the head and tell him as long as he's living in your house, he needs to abide by your rules and your rules are: 'Take the stinking face piercings out, put on a white shirt and go to church' ".

Nope, didn't say that at all.

But today she informs me that my son is the vilest human being ever (because Psycho Mom said so) and they need him to move out now. Via email.

I am 5000 miles away. I am in a different time zone.
He, on the other hand, is right down the hallway. She couldn't tell him that?! When she was the one who gave him the place to stay?!

So. I spent the day angry, sad, hurt, angry, frustrated, and worried. I snapped at children that had no idea what was going on. I cried at my husband. I left one nasty message each for thoughtless friend and bipolar Mom. I relocated my son to another state. Yes, an entirely separate state.

All from my quiet little village in England. This pretty much could be the season cliff hanger...

SS A Little Mud Slinging Will Do

This Scrolling Saturday is a post I did in January. This morning as I woke (too early for a Saturday morning ) with visions of doing a little "me" pampering (which of course ended with a 5 year old and then a toddler in the bathroom with me as the Hubby stood right outside the door...), I thought of this company. How could I not, with a pack of chocolate goodness sitting on my bathroom shelf begging to be used in this House of Chaos?

Scrolling Saturday, a lovely way to reintroduce our posts that came in under the radar. Created by Such Simple Pleasures and Manners & Moxie. Click on the button to go to their links.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

The down side of being a military wife

This morning, determined NOT to be addicted to blogging, I decided I would only pull in my email and then shut this Mac-baby down for the day. Things never quite work out how we plan, do they? (Yikes, I just did the British "question thing!" how funny).

Any who, I had an email from Heidi, of Muddy H2O.

I discovered MH2O through one of my favorite blog sites, Getinthecar! Jen was having a give-away for a Chocolate face mask and well, if there's anything with chocolate involved, you can count me in! I immediately went searching for a place to order.

Living overseas can really be a great experience. However, when you're longing for a taste of home or in need of something that you can't find here, things can get a bit frustrating. Few places will ship to an APO address. What APO means is, you post the item to me. It travels to NY where the military takes over and sees it to it's final destination. You don't pay any more than if you were shipping to your Grandma, but you do have to fill out a customs slip-- which is mostly a check-the-box-and-sign type of form. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure it out, but it does take extra effort. Many Ebay sellers won't ship to APO, Target has never shipped anything to APO, Amazon can't send electronics or gourmet items (so much for belonging to the "Hot Sauce of the Month" club) and I once spent an entire day uploading 600 pictures to Walmart only to be told at check-out that they wouldn't ship photos to an APO. You try to figure why.

So, when I contacted the MH2O company directly and asked how I could get my hands on a chocolate Muddy, Heidi told me she would ship it to me personally-- in support of my husband serving in the military.
Regardless how you feel about the war or anything else with the military, you need to know that on a regular basis, we are bombarded by negativity from total strangers. Once on an Amazon chat, I noticed some idiot taking a verbal punch at a Veteran and even though I normally don't get involved with chats, I felt like I needed to this time. Needless to say, he then attacked me with comments about how joining the military was our choice or rather maybe we didn't have a choice (inferring I had a lack of education). Whatever, Einstein.
We did choose the military for reasons I won't go into here, and it's not always easy. The 15 months we have lived here in England, my husband has been away in one place or another for more than half of it. He has missed several birthdays, 4th of July celebrations, Thanksgiving, "Firsts" (like first day of school for two kids, baby milestones for two babies, teenage 'firsts' etc...). He has been gone when the house needed repairs, the tires have gone flat, vehicular accidents and most recently, for the High School Graduation and overseas move of our teenager.
I am proud of him. He works hard, loves his family and loves his country. So I really like people like Heidi that recognize him and the sacrifice he makes in serving our country.

Today's email from Heidi went something like this:

"I mailed your box this afternoon. I ran into a little wrinkle when I attempted to ship the package. I naively believed that if I sent your package via an APO address and you were an American citizen then the package would not be considered "export merchandise". Hooooo Weeeeee..... " "I got from the clerk a big, fat "You can't send this, Lady!"
'So, instead. I sent your package as a gift. Your Visa number has been shredded and will never see the light of day again. Please accept this gift from Muddy H2O as our show of appreciation for your husband serving in our military and your hard work at being "Mom" and "Wife". You deserve a little chocolate pampering.' "

Wow. I almost cried. I immediately thought, "What can I do to repay this lady who has never met me or my husband?"
And then it came to me.
All six of you reading this blog, no pressure, but what I am hoping you will do is 1.) If you've EVER done a facial in your entire life, would you please support this company and try one of theirs? They even have single packets, so you don't have to break the bank with this. and 2.) Could you send the link to every warm-blooded being you know so that THEY will support this company? They have retailers all through the West (that will ship to the East, not sure about Canada though, Tara).
If you're not sold on this product, click here to read Jen's account. Her HUSBAND noticed.....