Great-less Expectations

A few posts back I may have given you the impression that I was again complaining (moi?!) and inferred that I had a less-than-ideal house guest planted on my sofa.
I'm here to retract my previous thoughts.

Two years ago when Hubby was deployed the first time while living in England, I was struggling (I now blame it partially to postpartum depression). A friend offered to come give me a respite from my monotony of tending children and speaking to myself and I gladly accepted her offer-- so much so that the Hubby paid for her ticket to come.
It only took a few days of her continuous contact with her own husband, needing to be back where she had just come from (business) and constant refusals to go see sites with us to regret her visit.

It was the kids' first school break where we could get away and go do some fun things about England and this friend said, "Nope, been there, done that" because she had lived in England 20 years ago (in a totally different area, I might add). She only wanted to shop in thrift stores and for me to pack three small boys and an infant in the car to drive her around to them was an added burden.

So fast forward to the trip of my mother. My mother who quite honestly is not in good health.
Once again, I got into my J the Grockle thinking and excitedly planned all of the local things we could see. Things that wouldn't require a lot of walking (but there's always some-- you cannot drive up to the door of English Heritage sites).

Only, she wasn't interested.

I had envisioned her walking with my children in the garden or up to their bus stop.
She wanted to read.
I wanted to take her to my favourite little shops packed to the roof with textiles, sparkles and custom wood furniture. She wanted to go to the "dollar" stores.

And then I had that "light bulb" moment.

She wasn't a bad house guest. She had spent all of that money to come here and just be with us. It's my personality to fit as much into one day as humanly possible, not hers.

I reflected back on my childhood trips to the lake, mountains, or desert and she was always sitting reading a book. I got my love of reading from her (but fortunately got my "live in the moment" life view somewhere else). I sing because she did. Every goofy song long forgotten by our generation, my kids now know--"Skinamarinkydink" anyone?

As I tried to tempt her with photos of priories and castles to see, I was worried she'd get home and regret that she knew more about the novels she read than her grand kids favourite books and the funnest hiding places in the garden.

But I don't think she will.

I think she cherished watching us live our routine and being able to see the kids in their everyday silliness.

I did drag her to a priory and she couldn't quit talking about how wonderful it was.

I hauled her to my shop, where she bought so much she had to leave clothes behind.

I took her to London and completely reveled in her joy seeing the clock tower (that houses Big Ben) from the top of a double decker bus.

The friend from before? I'm thinking I was wrong there too.

She walked with my boys.
Her idea of helping was to take the boys for a walk down the lane every evening she was with us.
I had 30 minutes every evening to focus on my baby girl.

The next guest that comes to visit us will find a completely different host. I will not expect anything, but enjoy everything.

Thank you Mom, for coming all the way over here to spend your 75th birthday with us. Thank you for loving my kids and teaching them to enjoy the simple moments. I am happy to say we're really going to miss you!

Child Minders Wanted

I have the opportunity to stand on the red carpet (ok, just really close next to the red carpet) while the Harry Potter Cast appear for the premiere.

However, this event will occur just a few weeks before the wayward Hubby returns. This has left me with some serious prioritizing and since we know that attending this once-in-a-lifetime event trumps four lovely children, I am currently taking applications for baby sitters.

The skills required for the person or persons considering this job:

1. Keep them alive, preferably unwounded in any way requiring hospitalization.

Apply below.

Six

Last night,
I wrapped my arms around you
and told you
that these have been the best six years of my life

Holding your warm little body
against mine...
it was the purest moment I had
experienced all week.

A week of rushing everywhere
and eating on the run.
It was the first moment
that I inhaled and relished

as if trying to stop time
from rushing forward--
another rapidly passing six years.

Hold still. Let me breathe your innocence
and joy in the simple things.
Let me stamp your laughter
on my heart.

So that I can wrap my arms
around it in the years
when hugs are unwanted.

Happy birthday, my sweet little boy.

Battlegrounds

Sun Tzu author of On the Art of War (400 B.C.):

"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer"

This is the girl who in one week,

threw blueberry yogurt on my white sofa and carpet.
drew on my bed with lipstick.
ate her brother's entire box of Valentines Day candy (and apparently hid a couple of pieces in his pillow case when I interrupted her pillage-- to be found later after they fell out of the case and the boy slept on them. Oh, THEN he joined me in my bed after a nightmare. 1 pajama shirt, 2 fitted sheets, 2 flat sheets, 2 pillowcases and my white comforter cover had to be washed again).
soaked the bathroom carpet while swimming in the bathtub (her brother overseeing the bath said, "I told her 'no'.").
ate every Baby Bell cheese out of the refrigerator.
threw her first screaming and kicking tantrum in the post office where I crumpled my letter trying to pick her up and the post lady informed me that since it was too big to slide easily into the size slot, I'd have to pay more.
drew with a black permanent sharpie on the sofa.

I'm not a neglectful mother.

I am not considered a lenient mother.

I am a one woman running a household with four small children alone. Outnumbered.
I am the one bleeding the radiators every day--still, after our plumbing problems in January. I am the one caulking the showers, cooking the dinners, doing the laundry (except ironing, I don't do ironing.. or sock sorting).
I am the one calling the council when my brown recycling bin gets skipped again, or the appliance repairs when the refrigerator is making pools of water in my kitchen.

I sometimes have to turn my attention away from small people.

Add that to an inquisitive child with a VERY strong personality and you come up with an enemy to one's ideas of how a day should go.

I'm keeping her close, even if that means there's feet on my work tops.

(no, you're not having a deja vu moment. The week I'm highlighting was a couple of months ago)

"Some other folks might be a little bit smarter than I am.
Bigger and stronger too.
Maybe, but none of them will ever love you the way I do
It's me and you..." -- Randy Newman

Is It Wrong...

...that I am enjoying your stories so much?

I feel so much better, thank you!!