If You Could See Me Now

I will never learn.
When vanity and common sense go to battle in my life, vanity will stomp cs's backside every time.



AT LEAST this time I used depilatory actually meant for faces.

AT LEAST this time I washed it off BEFORE the burning started (you know, basically torturing my skin without actually removing any hair).

Royal Tart Forum foto

And so I wait. 


For the tightening,
reddening,
bubbling
and
overall 3-degree burn look to overtake my face.


I think I'll go find some chocolate and sit in a dark room...

for a few months.

Or at least until my common sense builds up some muscle.

Romance

The ransomed horse was a FAIL.

Turns out that lovely couple is missing a LADY BIRD (Lady Bug to you Yanks). The little horsey just happened to be ours from a book.

P did offer me some lasagna though.

out of pity.

This week's special day was Valentine's Day.

Since Sexy Guy is the romantic of the family (and I am so NOT) I decided to try to avoid any embarrassment this year for my lack of preparation.  

Who has time for thoughtful, romantic planning when there are kids to get to football, ballet, church activities, and my own meetings?

No, I didn't rent him a date with someone more romantic than me, I went for the preemptive strike and
asked him to please NOT buy any chocolate since I can't handle the guilt when I eat the entire box in one sitting and the deceit when have to run out to buy a new box and eat a few of those so it doesn't look like I have absolutely no control.

He honored my request.

There were no pressies, flowers, mushy cards this year.

In fact, it was a very ordinary day with the exception of me becoming the coolest Mom in Great Britain because I sent my kids to school with Valentine cards & lollies (heart-shaped suckers) in a country where kids don't spend two weeks assembling paper mache mail boxes for the love-themed loot they'll receive.
ONE other child wrote Valentine cards, but only for her closest friends. hah! I win!!

As I basked in my new-found coolest-Mom-ever glory, I confessed to the Husband that a few thoughts had entered my mind for some thoughtful gifts for him...

(like a foot massage for those feet I refuse to touch)

to which he replied,

"The only thing a guy wants for the day is s.., all that other Valentine's Day stuff is for the wife".


SLAP. ouch.

Is it true?? Men don't eagerly await the homemade cards of tissue paper hearts glued on with the kids Elmer's and a sappy stab at poetry from the love of their life??

I'm rethinking all of the lovely dinners I made for him, my husband, the most romantic person I know... those Valentines Days before our circus of children came along.


I feel like someone just sucker-punched Santa Claus on live TV.

Facing The Facts

My daughter is a klepto.

To serious extremes.

This very kind couple brings kid things on Sunday just so Miss Ky can sit on their laps during Sacrament meeting. They love this cheeky little girl, so they've shared sweet little quiet-toys with her that they made years ago for their granddaughter.

Recently P asked if I had seen a little horse that went missing from one of the books.
This couple is on to my child as they were unwillingly inducted into her Winona Ryder lifestyle the time she shoved their puzzle pieces down into her pajama legs after spending an evening in their house.

I told them I'd look into it.

These are the emails I sent off this morning:

1st email: "DoN't trY to loCate uS. wE hAve sOmeThiNg yoU waNt. bRing lAsaGna oR thE hoRse geTs iT."

spelling of a certain someone's name--her style

2nd email: "thiS iS a ClUe to FiNdinG wHo tOok yOur little hOrSe"




I really hope this works. I haven't had P's lasagna for over a year.

Bloggers Anonymous

Hi.
I'm J and I'm a blogger.

The Husband begins his very long journey home tomorrow. It's my last full night to lie diagonal in the bed. The bed I'll have all to myself.

So why do I sit up until midnight reading blogs?