Emily's Etiquette Revised

Miss Ky has perfect manners.

For a two year old, she's pretty amazing (must learn to mask Mother's pride a little better).


"I want a drink"

"Excuuuse me?" I say.

"Pleeease".

"That's nice, let's start again" I tell her.

"May I have a drink, please?".

Then she spends the day with our pensioner friends. The ones she's determined to eat out of their home (she usually hits the door with, "I'm hungry, let's have pasta").

"I want a drink".

"What's the magic word?" they say.

"Abracadabra".

Well, that's it. She magically got her drink while they struggled to compose themselves.

Forget the Tree in the Forest

If a blogger stops posting
when her husband returns from a deployment,

is anyone concerned that he might be
holding a pillow over her face to shut her up?

Ok, yes, the hubby is more demanding on my time than four young children on a summer holiday, but at least the camera is still clicking away.

No one gets between me and my Nikon.

I'm actually considering applying for a job JUST to get some "me" time.

How insane is that?

I'm crazy!

It's a photographer position...

Please don't be alarmed by the chokehold-like loving this little girl is receiving,
that wound on A2's face is from her.

...crazy like a fox.

Can you give me some creative ideas to explain the 12 year gap in my resume?

Gardening

A potted plant,
a curry, with a wonderful scent
So beautiful and lush in the store,
now sits in my kitchen excited and nervous at the new surroundings.

In the rush of adjustments, the Curry watches the blur of activity around her.
The thrill of months of stories related
and giggles (rising loudly to the ceiling)
fill her ears (do curry plants have ears?).

But someone has forgotten to water the Curry.

Another couple of days goes by and the thrill of the newness becomes more of a desperation...
wondering when they will look at her, see her wilting
lives are busy and their minds never consider that she needs attention too.

By day four,
her branches are drooping
leaves are falling
and she wonders, "Am I invisible?" "Don't they even see that I'm here?"

And the one she trusted the most
the one she had looked up at with wonder
and anticipation
continues on in the sunshine
unaware that she's reaching the point of no return.

It happens sometimes
neglect of houseplants

Which ones can be saved?

Which ones go into the bin?

Which ones shout, "Hey! Look at me! I lost weight too... remember that muffin top that was there before you left? I worked hard to get rid of that, and the fact that I have put on make up three days in a row? And shaved my legs! Have you even seen me? And, HELLO, I AM still here!"

Do curry plants have muffin tops?

The Way Things Are

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

The way it was...





The way it is...

How it's supposed to be.

Thank you for your emails, your kind words and support, HE'S HOME!!!

The Military Murphy's Law (or I Got a Rock)

"If something is going to break it will do so just after he deploys".

Dear Hubby,

Besides the major things, like nearly becoming homeless (when the house we were letting went to court for repossession at the same time I was readying the other house for a turn over to the landlord) and the flu that swept through our house soiling every piece of bedding, 5 pillows and all of our towels (not to mention pajamas) in the first 2 weeks of your absence,

here is the list of things that broke:

J2's window, which has remained unlocked for nearly 6 months.

The Wii which was gone for repairs for quite some time.

The Wii again, but repaired with a different power source.

The kitchen taps. The heating.

Car dvd player. The Sky Plus satellite box (working now, but the remote is weird).

Oh, btw, the cord on the hedge trimmer was apparently shut in a door during our move here...

The boiler. The shower. Oh, which one? First the family shower, and now ours.

Your car.

The mail program on my computer (and then it eventually it went down with internet issues).

The free view box in our room (free view is like free cable through the antenna), so Brian gave his spare one... nice guy, Brian.

Brian's free view box has joined the list of electronic RIPs.


My car's exhaust needed repairing... don't worry, I had to have it taken care of or my car wouldn't have passed the MOT.

The refrigerator. The chest freezer is making sounds chest freezers don't usually make...really strange LOUD dripping sounds. My crock pot the other day was set on low for a 6 hour recipe-- it was boiling and had scorched my sauce within 2 hours. Good thing I came home when I did.

The cord on the Henry (vacuum) won't unwind more than 2 feet which left me vacuuming in a very small circle.

The DVD player. Dead. No warning... refuses to give up a dvd that was in it.

I had no lights in the dining room or computer room because the kids were running around upstairs and when A2 "fell" off the bed (sounded like jumping). All the lights went FFFZZZZiit and were gone... Don't worry, I took care of it.

The washer. 4th of July weekend. Perfect. (Note to front-load washer owners: They HATE large rubberbands apparently).
Oh, the dryer felt bad seeing the engineer here and is now threatening to quit when I most need it (like when the Swine flu hits our house).

Kids:

All five kids are alive so I consider it a success-- big high five please.

Miss Ky used the toothpaste for hand lotion (several times), a black sharpie marker on the sofa, threw blueberry yogurt on the white carpet, smeared Desitin all over the bathroom's green carpet and flooded the bathroom countless times.

A2 stuck blue tac up his nose,
and A1's team won 2-1 against a team that beat them 6-0 previously.
J2 become a young man as he stepped into your shoes as
#1 Son is having suicidal emotions.
We hosted two birthday parties, went to 4000 (what? That's accurate) football tournaments/training evenings, 1 school disco, 6 primary activities, celebrated 1 Valentine's Day, 1 Mothering Sunday, 1 Mother's Day, 1 Father's Day, my 45th bday and we missed you at several special kid events at school...

It's nearly over and even though you keep comparing this last couple of weeks as "a kid waiting for Christmas to come",
I feel more like it's nearly Halloween, I'm 6 and I know that I will carry
the biggest pillow case full of candy
at the end of a night that just seems like it's not getting any closer.

I think I just compared you to candy...

So...

bring on the candy corn Mr. Fixit, we're ready. I'm also ready to kick "Murphy" out of our house.

He...

... was told by the daughter-in-law of my dreams that she loved him.

a couple of weeks later,

...had an ex-girlfriend (now great friend) come to visit AND offer to leave her job and boyfriend to come live near him.

But HE,

doesn't want to make any commitments in case SHE comes back into his life.

SHE=the girl who devastated him and drove him to an emotional mess--who is still dating the poor sap she dated while fantasizing about marriage with my son, but was naive enough to post pictures of the dates on MyFarce. That current beau has no idea she's showing up on my son's doorstep regularly "just to see how he's doing".

Who needs Coronation Street or Eastenders?

Give me hope-- was there someone YOUR Mama warned you about and it turned out she was right?

Notice for my Anonymous commenter who seems to get riled when I post about the #1 son's love life:
Before some troll slips noisily out of hibernation, in no way, shape or form do I think the girl in question is a terrible, manipulative, immature little drama queen-- so keep your mean comments to yourself or post about it on your own blog.

Iraq on the Fourth

Is it cold where you are?
Too hot where you are?
Hazy?

My husband's re-inlistment where it is a little dusty....(his photos-- thank you Hubby)

From the Mountains to the Prairies

I love my country.

You will regularly hear me raving about England (and how I 'll go kicking and screaming when the Air Force tells me I have to leave--I can't possibly see and do it all in the little time I have over here) but you need to know that I love the United States of America.

My dad was a veteran of the Korean War and afterwards, a member of the VFW.
He wore his Army uniform proudly in parades down our tiny little Main Street.
I was taught (from when I was about 3)
to hold my hand over my heart and to stand
when a flag went by.

I teach that to my kids now.

When I got older
and elderly veterans would walk in various parades
past eyes eagerly awaiting Santa or the Uncle Sam on stilts,
I always stood and clapped.

I hope those veterans know that at least one woman in the crowd appreciated the life they assured her in a free country.

I teach that to my kids as well.

This week, I taught my kids about the American Flag
and (can I tell you?)
apparently it's not only Lee Greenwood or the Star Spangled Banner that makes me tear up.

I reminded them of the respect we show our Flag and why (and if you're uncertain, maybe it's time you looked up what our flag actually represents-- you might find yourself angry the next time you watch a madman burn it).
I explained that they're growing up in a world where patriotism is quickly becoming unpopular. How one day when we're not around, they may be tempted to go with the crowd and refuse to say the Pledge of Allegiance or stand for a flag passing or by keeping their hand in a pocket when it could be over their heart--and that's ok, because it's their choice and they live in a country that allows them to make those choices (because of brave men and women who guaranteed them that freedom).

Maybe I might have mentioned to them
that when I place my hand on my heart,

I am honoring their grandfather (and many great grandfathers),
their aunt,
their uncle (and many great uncles),
and most importantly
their Dad.

I love my country and I love the man that has so willingly sacrificed to serve it (the guy who probably just stepped out of the room to get a tissue because he's a big marshmallow).

On this July 4th,
when you're waving your little flag at the parade or
oohing and aahing over the fireworks,
do me a favor and place your hand on your heart for a few minutes.

You see, I'll have mine on my heart because I know my Hubby (marshmallow guy), who is in a foreign country (Iraq), will have his right hand held high as he re-enlists--promising to continue to keep you and I and our children safe. Since there won't be any parades, fireworks or confetti, it's my way of showing him the respect he has earned serving the country I love.

God bless and keep you Hubby.
Happy Independence Day (hopefully the last one we'll spend apart)
I love you, I'm proud of you
and I'm there with you.
Here's to 6 more years of insanity!

Happy 4th of July everyone!!

Lessons in Life

We're getting in a lot of pool time.

If you can call swimming around 9pm "a lot of pool time",
but that's when the wasps go to bed so that's when we swim.

It's usually rushed.

A kid on his way to bed will say, "Can we swim really quick?"

All of my kids know I'm a sucker for water and I will always agree,
so we will frantically be donning swimsuits
that aren't completely dry
or maybe in mid-cycle of the wash.

A1 got caught in that predicament yesterday, but he wasn't deterred-- he came running out starkers. The kid has no shame.
J2 shouted, "A1! Cover your gentiles!"

I about drowned from laughing so hard while treading water.

Same kid (same swimming occasion) later informed me that he and his siblings all have a little of Mom and Dad and he knows why that is...

Me:"Really, why is that?"
Him: " I can't tell you with them here!"

Me (little slow, but catching up): "Oh, you aren't talking X and Y chromosomes, you're talking about "how" children are made."

Him, smugly: "Yes, and I know it happens at night".

Hmmmm.... Sex Ed in school, interesting.