... was told by the daughter-in-law of my dreams that she loved him.
a couple of weeks later,
...had an ex-girlfriend (now great friend) come to visit AND offer to leave her job and boyfriend to come live near him.
But HE,
doesn't want to make any commitments in case SHE comes back into his life.
SHE=the girl who devastated him and drove him to an emotional mess--who is still dating the poor sap she dated while fantasizing about marriage with my son, but was naive enough to post pictures of the dates on MyFarce. That current beau has no idea she's showing up on my son's doorstep regularly "just to see how he's doing".
Who needs Coronation Street or Eastenders?
Give me hope-- was there someone YOUR Mama warned you about and it turned out she was right?
Notice for my Anonymous commenter who seems to get riled when I post about the #1 son's love life:
Before some troll slips noisily out of hibernation, in no way, shape or form do I think the girl in question is a terrible, manipulative, immature little drama queen-- so keep your mean comments to yourself or post about it on your own blog.
Oh dear...... some of these family dramas are just as bad as any in Albert Square or Coronation Street.
ReplyDeleteDon't we mothers go through it when our children get hurt?
Ugh...and I'm getting ready to enter that world. Not fun. :(
ReplyDeleteI think that is all part of growing up. I had a guy that I tore myself inside out for. Wrecked many a good relationship over. Almost didn't even notice the hubby because I was still "mourning". And the stinking guy (he is actually a good guy) still has a place in my heart. Sometimes love makes you really stupid. ;)
ReplyDeleteHopefully he will get past her soon. :)
As a mother of two sons, I am a lucky Mom in law to two beautiful girls that I would have chosen for them myself...why? Because they like me...isn't that all any mom of boys could want? Hope he makes the choice that pleases him, it's sure to please you!
ReplyDeleteSandi
I have a list long and wide of the very kind you are speaking of. I even agreed to marry a few. Fortunately, the date would get to close and I would push it off a while longer. I dated the kind that scared my parents for a variety of reasons. (Biker-Pot Head-Garden Variety Jerk, Cheater-Player-Drama King, The Liar-Guy in Love with his Truck with a Criminal Record and my all time favorite....The Master Manipulator. Ok I was a bit fickle.) It took me a while to figure out what I wanted, but when I did, I found what I was really looking for.
ReplyDeleteI have one bit of advise for your son. Yes, it is unsolicited, but I'm like that. Make a list of things you need in a mate and then make a list of wants. If she isn't making the "need" list, cut bait. This list should include things like: supportive,trust worthy, patient, has a sense of humor. Date only those that pass the list of needs. Marry the one that meets most of your wants. It doesn't hurt to pray over the list either. I just sayin'
Many prayers for you. You need them as much as he does right now.
ugh! It's so hard for us to see what's best for ourselves sometimes. I almost typed a wish for something very unkind to happen to her, but I erased it, it was just too unChristian of me. I DO hope that he will soon see the light.
ReplyDeleteI miss catching up on your blog Jeri. I can't wait till I get my internet back!!!!
Real life can be as intriguing as any soap opera. My mother thought that nobody was good enough for me and her choice of husband would have been the last man that I wanted to marry.
ReplyDeleteIt is easy for me to say but having your heart broken is all part of growing up.
I was going to say thank heavens I have two little girls...but it can happen to girls too if I remember rightly!! Love is...just ridiculous and unfortunately it makes you do ridiculous things. Here hoping number 1 son comes to his senses about HER soon enough and chooses one of the others!! Hugs to you x
ReplyDeleteOh no! I thought she was finally gone. Maybe he'll see the light soon. I sure hope so.....
ReplyDeleteHappens to the best of us/them, unfortunately.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, high five for staking the sign in the ground by the troll bridge.
ReplyDelete"Mama said there'd be days like this..." um, sorry, got a little carried away there.
Ok. I'm with Karen; my Dad's best advice has always been Make A List. My mama warned me about every guy I dated. Who does it stink worse for that she was right?? In the end, it appears I have lousy taste. It's most apparent, in those lists.
I wish that I had known Christ then. I wish I had known what 2 Corinthians 6:14 really meant, after I was. I pray that SHE will learn what Matthew 5:37 means without falling flat on her face. Then again, I've learned more there than I ever have standing up.
Praying for HIM, for Discernment, Wisdom, and Courage.
Blessings,
Carolynn
I agree with Kat, it is a part of life and Some of us have that one person that is so wrong for us but seem so right and eventually we wake up to that fact.
ReplyDeletemommy is always right...unfortunately.
ReplyDeletekids learn the hard way.
sadly.
xoxo
you're not talking about ME, are you? ;-)
ReplyDeletei just hope that things go well for #1 for a little while. (what a heartbreaker, btw---no wonder he's got girl problems)
sigh....the trials of a mommy.
i never dated in HS and the guys all broke up with me in college (obiviously there was something wrong with me at one point) and i always "wanted" to date the guy that wasn't for me, but was with the guys you took home....such a molly mormon was i :)
Oh golly. Those ups and downs on the emotional roller coaster when deciding who to love can be very tough. Best of luck to your son in figuring it all out and here's keeping fingers crossed that it will be for the best for all (Mom included).
ReplyDeleteI still think that arranged marriages are worth talking about, ha. My daughter has had some of the most wonderful guys interested in her but she has to pick the loser. I don't get it. Hopefully, they will not commit themselves to someone until they grow up enough to realize what is important and will be long lasting.
ReplyDeleteGood Luck!
well Jeri, guys don't think with the head that is between their ears. He is not thinking period. But you can't do anything except vent to us and pray a lot.
ReplyDeleteYou are doing such a great job of sticking with him and letting him work through it all. You have to vent somewhere!
ReplyDeleteI'm not talking about nasty sons in law right now b/c a nasty one just disappeared into the divorce network. I'll talk all day about the wonderful marine that wins best son in law awards. Hoping your dreams come true.
ReplyDeleteSounds so complicated.
ReplyDeleteMy son Kyle is 15. I'm not looking forward to the dating days. (:
ReplyDeleteSlap him upside the head! (Lovingly, of course.)
ReplyDeleteI cannot believe you have a troll and it would be about this. I truly do not understand people sometimes.
Unfortunately my hubs married that girl (no kids). All the guys she was sleeping with were too savvy to get caught- they had missions to go on. Not my honey. Nope. He had to marry the free milk giving cow and get his heart broken and stomped into a million pieces. It was hard on him in many of the same ways it's been hard on your son.
ReplyDeleteAnd now he has me. Because he had HER, he knows what real misery is and it's easier for him to put up with me. Because she was part of his life, he was forced to grow and learn and become someone she could never be worthy of- and she knows it. And because she screwed around on him not-so-behind his back all the while claiming he wasn't 'religious' enough for her, he appreciates my complete devotion to him in ways he never otherwise would have and the fact that I don't pretend to be something I'm not!
I feel so bad my hubs had to learn those things the hard way BUT it was the experience that forged him into the caliber of Man I fell in love with. And I hate that in a way I have to be grateful to "THAT GIRL" for inadvertantly making him a better man while trying to destroy him.
It must be hard for a Mama to watch (especially from a distance) but his character is being tested and forced to grow. It will take some time but he WILL be a better man because of it. Not that it will probably make you feel any beter but I tried.
I was just reading through old comments left on my blog and I have found yours that you left a long time ago so I thought I could come to read yours and I just saw this post.
ReplyDeleteWell..I'll tell you the same as for Mikki: pay for my plane ticket and I'll make sure "SHE" will not be a problem anymore. I can be a real killer with this muscle in my mouth.
Yeah I know I should have been supportive and stuff but I don't have children and I don't have stories from my youth to give you hope.
So I just thought I could try to give you a chuckle. Did it work?
Actually, the girl in question DOES sound like a terrible, manipulative, immature little drama queen so go ahead and think it! One of my boys dated someone that everyone else warned him about. I don't know what all went on (he's very private about that sort of thing), but it must have been pretty bad. He's sworn off dating until he's 25! Said he doesn't want the drama of all that to interfere with his education. To this day, I'd like to smack that girl for hurting him like she did. (And guess what? She was dating another boy when she took up with MY son, and then did the same thing to her next "boyfriend"). So people just have no honor (nor do they even understand what that means!).
ReplyDeleteHope your son snaps out of his fascination with that creature soon enough.
Kari