Dear H

If I were ten, I would punch you.
Yes, I'm advocating violence, because my sweet boy is involved.

Don't you understand? A1 treasures you as his friend, despite our initial misgivings when you first christened our doorstep (subsequently "christening" our bathroom floor because you thought it was funny).
We have opened our house to you.
We cheered you on when you had your Canary Mascot experience, waving our flags like lunatics from the stands and cheering loudly when your name was called.

You have been at every party A1 has had-- we didn't complain when you brought several pounds of sweets and marshmallows that we were still finding months after the party--and he has attended everyone of yours.

So why is it that you have been giving him a bad time every. single. day since his Mascot experience?
Why do you feel the need to make fun of what he was wearing, who he ran out onto the pitch with and how he waved to the crowd?
Why do you have to antagonize him-- saying his favorite player is rubbish and you hope he leaves the team (which he won't you little moron, he is being praised throughout Football Land for his abilities)?

What do you gain from this?

I could understand the other kids acting this way. I could get the envy... but you? You had the experience, and most importantly, you are his best friend.

Thursday A1 came home with the sparkle missing from his eyes. He tells me you were "stroppy" all day. I know this is really hurting him when he says, "Well something good happened" and he hands me his award certificate for good writing.

Do you see that as far as he is concerned, when there is conflict between the two of you there is not much to celebrate?

Children have conflicts. Children should be left to sort them out. Even when it drags on for weeks.

But hear me now you little gremlin, all Americans are NOT fat. If I had been there when you said it (and ten years old), I would've punched you right in the gob with my chubby little fist.


Just sayin'