No matter how much one enjoys the quiet of a home with only an infant and mother gazing into one another's eyes, the prolonged lack of sleep does take it's toll. It's hard.
Those precious new-baby moments are completely wasted on one who is exhausted and functioning on auto-pilot. Time slips rapidly and quietly and next thing you know there's a toddler in that baby bed.
I realize more and more that we don't grow out of that wasted time stage. No matter how many evenings I stare at the fresh-bathed angelic faces tucked cozily in their small beds while I breathe in their sweet child scent, I am always awakened just before "well-rested" seeps into my being much too early the next morning. The day winds it's way around my ankles and I catch myself clock-watching for the next date with my bed.
So many people offer their experienced advice, "Hold on, this time will pass too quickly!" which I know all too well (because of my 22 year-old). It's painfully true, but how do I hold on more than I am already?
I try to let go of a sink full of dishes or dust on my nightstand and remember neither will matter 10 years from now but a good sock puppet evening will. I also do my best to laugh when the children do, regardless of bad timing. But, just this morning when confronted with faces filled with wonder and eyes sparkling with the excitement of the treasure cupped in their hands-- a muddy, wet frog-- I instantly told them to put it down and run back to the house to wash their hands before the bus came. It was a difficult moment, knowing that I was missing an opportunity-remembering my own carefree childhood filled with frogs, salamanders and lizards, but faced with the responsibility of keeping them salmonella free.
I'm holding on. I adore my children who are growing way too quickly.
So I tell my friend,
"Hold that baby, breathe slowly and make yourself present in those quiet hours alone with her",
"Hold that baby, breathe slowly and make yourself present in those quiet hours alone with her",
but I know my words will be wasted
on someone who is too tired to commit them
to memory.
to memory.
What or who are you letting slip away through day to day obligations?
Everything!
ReplyDeleteWell, that's how it feels sometimes. Lately though I've decided to let the floor get dirty, let the laundry pile up. We spent the morning playing Barbies in the bath.
Definitely need to play with the kids more.
My creative time I let slip away with chores and errands and stuff that just "has" to be done. This makes me sad!!
ReplyDeleteHugs
SueAnn
Everything. There, that's the short but honest answer. If I spend the day at the pool with the kids then the laundry and cleaning slide. If I spend the day doing laundry and cleaning then I'm in no mood for playing with the kids. No problem right, just do one thing for a day or two then the other. Well, I'm just not good at that. Most of all though, I feel like I'm letting me slide. I know I should be exercising, working on something for myself, but I'm always too tired or too busy with something else that "needs" done to get to it.
ReplyDeleteMy house doesn't get cleaned nearly as well or as often as it used to. I've decided it just isn't that important or big of a deal anymore. Time flies by no matter what.
ReplyDeleteOH man. I GET this. I think about this way too often. I destroy myself with it. I see time slipping away so quickly and try desperately to grab at it and make it the best, and yet I fail far too often. I get so disappointed in myself. But I am trying. We all are.
ReplyDeleteI think that is why the ending of Toy Story 3 got me so much. The only time we see Andy's mom in the movie is when she is saying, "Get started packing! You only have two days! Let's go! Get started!" She is constantly trying to keep Andy on track. Getting him to do what he needs to do. You know, being a mom. And then at the end she walks into his empty room and it all hits her. "Oh, Andy." WAAAAAHHH!!! That hit me so hard.
*sigh*
I have often said that it is a shame that you can't enjoy your newborn more because you are too tired and exhausted.
Great post, J!
Loved the description of time slipping around your ankles or whatever it was.
ReplyDeleteThis post made my heart bleed. I like my kids the ages that they are at. They are not allowed to grow older.
trying not to... but it's summer, and it should be way more carefree than it is. too much stress with house selling... i have vacuumed more in the last 8 weeks than I had in the previous 8 months. easily.
ReplyDeleteWe all let life slip slide away. It is just natural to be that way. We are thinking of responsibility and safety and organization and playtime falls to the bottom of that list.
ReplyDeletebeautifully said. The pay off is when your a grand ma.your well rested and you have time to listen to evrything and enjoy every minute. it's true.
ReplyDeleteI'll try not to let them slip away, I promise.... but yeah it is hard. Now I find myself letting the joy of the other two pass away while I am consumed with the baby.
ReplyDeleteWell-written and oh, so true BUT I am not sure your words will be wasted. I am working on trying to be present more often. I agree with Karen Deborah's comment ~ as a grammie I do have so much more time and patience...I totally focus on my grandbabies...I am present for them. Let the housework slide...believe me, those little ones will be grown and gone before you know it.
ReplyDeleteI have let too much slip away. I look at my almost twelve year old and wonder where the time has gone, and the very next instant I look at my almost three year olds, and wonder when I'm going to get a break. The house is a wreck most of the time, and I'm really not getting in quality or quantity time with the family, so what gives?
ReplyDeleteBeautiful beautiful post! So much truth and such a great reminder to focus on what matters.
ReplyDeleteSo why am I about to defile it with blue humor? Please... all you innocents out there, shield your eyes NOW!
MuShu, my 19-year old daughter's best friend and our little quasi-adopted 24-year old live-in, told me this joke yesterday....
MuShu: "You know who likes fisting???
Me (horrified): "OMG, no! Who?"
MuShu: "Sock puppets! Hahahahaha. You thought I was going to say something else, didn't you?. You are sooo dirty."
Me (thinking to myself): Why me, Lord?
This was so beautifully written.
ReplyDeleteAw, stop beating yourself up, we all do it - besides, we're bloggers, in years to come we can point our grown cherubs to our site, and smugly say, "See? I DID notice!" (Wink)
ReplyDeleteOh, you know this is an obsession of mine. I hold all I can. These words we write hold so much.
ReplyDelete