Signing Off

I usually sign my texts/emails/letters/cards etc.. "J".
Actually it's more like, "j" because I am too lazy to hold a shift key.
However, if I don't know you well, or I'm trying to convince you that I'm not a shady sort of person (and am safe enough to meet up with to sell me your wares) I will sign my whole name.

Unfortunately-
the way my iPhone keyboard is set up, I often unintentionally end up offending people. I wish the "I" and the "K" weren't positioned so close to one another.

Recent text I should've checked before sending:

"No, really, it's alright if you don't get here until 5, I'll wait. jerk."

Yeah. Winning friends and influencing loads of people in everything I do.


On another note:

I am going to London next week. To meet THIS woman. Remember Heidi? I couldn't say enough nice things about her and her kindness to me when my order of Muddy H2O chocolate masks went wrong (on the US Postal side of things-- not the Muddy company) and now she's coming and wants to meet up with Moi. I'm so excited.
Any other UK bloggy friends want to come out and play?
Email me. I'm there. I'll text you back and if I call you a jerk, don't take it personally.

Nose Job

More like partial face amputation.
You know the saying, "Cutting off your nose to spite your face"?
I've got a hacksaw and no one can stop me.
I am currently boxing up my scrapbook room.

Everything.
Ribbons, paper, tapes, pages...
well, everything except the photos
because I receive requests for them (for school projects) regularly.

Why would I crate what I love?
Because there is no time,
for me anyway.

I have church responsilbilities sucking every ounce of strength left after
the kids have left me
gasping for breath.

And then the Hubby?

Yesterday a kind couple requested the company of the cyclone we call Miss Ky and for one day (in what feels like eons) I was going to be able to accomplish something without have my ears perked for her latest disaster. I envisioned reading by the pool in a rare moment of sunshine while my kids splashed and kicked a football around.

BUT, hubby puppy-eyed me. Wanted my undivided attention.
Him, the man who will pick football, computers and electrical gadgets over actually hearing anything I say to him at any other time.
The man who manages to take online courses, run and get in physical training
while I run in the house hamster wheel.

As clear as the nose I am removing from my face, I realize that my life is not my own.
After serving everyone else, there's no time for me
and these books, scrapbooks, paints and stamps are all bitter reminders of that.

So this plastic surgery is
more to make a point...
Something smells stinkowith in our house people and if you're not careful,
I may surgically remove me one day.


*Blog post brought to you only because sausalito tile dries very slowly here and I've mopped myself into a corner.

All This Post Needs Is Some Popcorn

Him: "It's a Homophone"

A fragmented sentence to answer a question from long before.

"...I think... one of the Veggie Tales songs mentions it."
(this is dangerous grounds-- mentioning what movie may have referenced a word we are currently having a brain freeze over could lead to another freeze when we desperately now try to remember the movie)

Me: "Yeah, that sounds right..." (Whew! more brain aerobics diverted)

Him: "It must be it because 'Homo' means 'same'--like
homogenized milk, it's all mixed up so that it will be the same"

Me: "Well now you're talking crazy, because a homophobe isn't afraid of 'sameness'"

Him: "'Homo' means 'same'"

Me: "So a homophobe is afraid of anything that might be the same. I could be considered a Homophobe because I don't want to hear you quote the same Monty Python lines over and over."

Ok, I didn't really say that, but I thought it.

Do you memorize films? Do you seriously come out of a first viewing of a movie theater perfectly capable of doing an entire monolog from that movie?"

I can watch one 3 times in one sitting (Twilight?) and still not quote it right.

I watched a newer release recently. The Time Traveler's Wife. I couldn't wait because years ago I read the book and loved it. It's all twisty and complicated if you put too much thought into it and I like that, so it was with great anticipation I headed out a second time to see it (the first time I got stuck behind a tractor and got there too late. I nearly cried).

I liked it.
And I was disappointed.

I just wonder if Hollyweird seriously thinks I need the gratuitous nekked butt shots to be happy with a movie (Did I just blog about nekked butts on a Sunday?).
I mean, I expected him to be starkers, because let's face it, he's slipping in and out of time and you can't take your clothes with you when you do that, but SHE did not have to show me hers.
Maybe it was a "gift" to all the poor saps dragged to the cinema with their wives. I don't know, my poor sap was at home with a nekked bathing 2 year old.

I can't tell you one line accurately from the movie either.

I can tell you that I'm not phobic of going out to a movie all by myself again. It was bliss. And if I find one I really like, I may watch the same movie over and over again. That would be Homocinematastic I think.

Pillagers Unite!

Arrrrr, shiver me timbers, is it Talk Like a Pirate Day already?!

The lyrics in case yer a little rusty:

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We extort, we pilfer, we filch, and sack,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Maraud and embezzle, and even high-jack,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We kindle and char, inflame and ignite,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We burn up the city, we're really a fright,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

We're rascals, scoundrels, villans, and knaves,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We're beggars and blighters, ne'er-do-well cads,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Flowing Like a River

We're all busy. We all seem to be trying to keep up with the same bloggers (I see your name and think-- OH sheesh, I haven't been to her place either)-- isn't there a way we could work out some group visits?

Has anyone else found that some horrible joke is being played on you and time just keeps getting siphoned out of the tank when you're not looking?



Remember this song? It reminds me of my just-out-of-high-school romance and warm summer nights on a pier in western Kentucky. Trying to say goodbye when the next day seemed too far away and too long to be apart.
THAT seems like just yesterday, which if it was, it would mean that I had married someone else and had five kids last night. No wonder I'm tired.