I am making a list, you know, for the time that I gain four new daughters.
It's important to know what one is marrying into, so below is my resume for these future family additions.
- I will think it, but will never tell you (over and over), how lucky you are to have my precious son. I will even try to tell you how lucky he is to have you.
- When you hold your first, second, third baby in your loving arms, I will fight the urge to go on and on about how the sweet little bundle looks just like his/her beautiful Daddy.
- For your birthday, not only will I NOT ignore it, I also WON'T send my son Father's Day wishes and gifts early-- timing them to arrive on your birthday (or proceed to blatantly acknowledge everyone else's birthday that immediately follows yours).
- When I get older, if your birthday does slip my mind, I will not, on my son's birthday, send brightly colored packages filled with confetti to then acknowledge his.
- I will never criticize your mother's grand parenting abilities.
- And as a grandparent, I will move Heaven and Earth to see your sweet children. I will know what positions they play in sports, I will know who's good in Math, Art or Music.
- I will always let you know that by marrying my son, you became family. Families come first before all else. As part of my family, I will not pretend that you are a temporary fixture and only send mail to "My Son and his Family".
- If you're ever worried, I will take the adult role and try to comfort you, my daughter-in-law. I will not cry into the phone all of the fears I have for my son as he's protecting our freedoms.
I'm just saying.
hmmm... not too hard to read between the lines here.
ReplyDeleteyou will be a great MIL. can I marry into your family? oh wait, I'm already married.
well, the May Queen isn't promised off yet. ;)
If you follow your "rules" you will certainly be a wonderful MIL! I do have one more suggestion - never tell your DIL that you "just don't know how to talk to her."
ReplyDeleteSeriously. All the MIL's of the world should read this.
ReplyDeleteWow! Sounds like you've had quite a bit to put up with if I'm reading your list right.
ReplyDeleteYou will be a GREAT MIL.
As the mother of sons, your list provides me with some good rules to live by. No doubt you'll be a fine MIL and hopefully your sons with marry women worthy of you both. Thanks for your visit to my blog.
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain. I'd say we have the same MIL, but spouse doesn't have brothers. And we're Lutheran. :)
ReplyDeleteMy fave is the "temporary" status. My MIL does this occasionally. Hello? It's not like we're dating. There was this big party and a dress and now there are two kids and I'm not going anywhere anytime soon...GET OVER IT!
Oh dear. You have one of THOSE MILs, hmm? I'm sorry.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds to me as though you will be a fabulous MIL one day.
what a splendid post...i think that i'm going to steal that and put it in my journal so when that day comes x2, i will remember what not to do.
ReplyDeleteunfortunately for me...there are a few things on that list that i've seen from my in-laws (either consious or not) but i don't hold it completely against them b/c my hubby's mom is no longer with us (and i never met her)and i'm pretty sure that a lot of things that have happened (and haven't happened) wouldn't have if she were still here with us.
another one on your list is: "I will never forget my grandchildren's and your birthday and then only remember my son's and send gifts and call in celebration."
(that has happened to us...cringe!)
i do think that certain circumstances are only there to teach us how to be better down the road...keep with it and continue to share the wealth of information stored in your brain!
(i've felt disposable too...but that experience is for another time and not on your blog!)
cute post. Hope things improve. Definitely a good list to remember when my two little boys grow up and find the woman of their dreams.
ReplyDeleteI followed a link from somewhere as I was intrigued by your name so had to find out who was holding you hostage!
ReplyDeleteReading between the lines you do not intend to copy your MIL. I am a MIL myself and agree wholeheartedly with your list - it's not easy sometimes but it makes for an easier life. :)
So much *OUCH* sandwiched into these laced-together promises. The hope for your future lifts my heart as I read this. My MIL has her moments (fewer now) but I've learned to ride the rapids. I have only to look in her son's eyes and I know what matters most. I, too, strive to deal out far better than I have received. My eldest is 20, though not the marrying kind, and the engagement of my daughter (18) has fallen through (praise the Lord -- she was spared a whopper of an MIL!), so we are resting until the next waterfall. You'll do fine in the MIL department -- you are a thinker ... enough said. : )
ReplyDeletep.s.
Yes, it was THE FRAY! YIKES! I like yours a WHOLE LOT BETTER, but I've decided to leave it right here and come visit often. ; ) Thanks for your encouragement! I'm learning; thanks for helping teach me. "Nine tenths of education is encouragement." – Anatole
Okay spill it what did your MIL do...I guess all those things...
ReplyDeleteI fear for my future.
ReplyDeleteHave I told you yet how much you rock?
ReplyDeleteYOU. ROCK.
I so feel this post. My MIL has taught me what I definitely DON'T want to do to my future daughter in law. Loved this.
ah honey... I'm sorry :)
ReplyDeleteI don't have a MIL to compare but from your list wow. My mom seems to do a lot on your list as far as trying to be a good one. I'm sure you'll be great.
ReplyDeleteYou sure you didn't marry my husband's brother? Funny, you don't look like my sister in law.
ReplyDeleteYou forgot not handing your DIL an article of clothing and saying, "Here. It's too big for me,"
Thank you for visiting my blog.
ReplyDeleteSounds as if you will make a very thoughtful MIL. Must suggest that mine reads your blog.
You know what? I forgot to read between the lines. Your feelings aside (again...hehehe) there is a very valuable lesson here that I never considered. It's almost a little painful to think of having to open my heart and share my kids. I'm a grouchy, greedy momma. Good thing I've got a couple decades to work on that!
ReplyDeleteI have been so lucky in the MIL department. Twice, in fact. At least you are learning...feeling for you, though.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a mother-in-law yet, but I hope I will be someday when my sons are older and find the right women to marry. I have both a mother-in-law and a step-mother-in-law, and I share many of your feelings. I guess all we can do is learn from the mistakes of others but still know that we are bound to make our own mistakes too someday and hope we are forgiven for them. I hope whatever mistakes I make as a future mother-in-law, I can learn from them as well. I'm sure you will be a great MIL. You seem like a wonderful mother to me, and being a mother-in-law is just an extension of that in my mind.
ReplyDeleteYou WILL be a fabulous mother in law.
ReplyDeleteAnd I am SO thankful now for my own. I think I'll call her right now, actually!!
I hope your dauaghters-in-law are worthy. I would have had the same list, but lo, I have daughters. Can they marry your sons? (Only 2, though.)
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmmmmm, Our MIL's must be one in the same....
ReplyDeleteouch she doesn't, that's terrible.
ReplyDeleteHAPPY BIRTHDAY, and happy UN birthday tooo you know those other 364 days.
I want to be like that someday! I have 2 sons (9 & 4) and I'm already praying for their wives. I hope they are being raised in Godly families and that they will be a good match for my boys. BUT. So long as they are happy, I will be happy for them. Because I've been on the receiving end of a nasty MIL and she did neither one of us any favors. I don't know everything about who I am yet, but I sure know everything I DON'T want in my new family.
ReplyDeleteI Loved this post.
Blessings, Carolynn