I Hope I didn't Say Too Much

Just heard on BBC Radio:

A caller, screaming excitedly that she's preparing for a holiday in Las Vegas,
is prompted by the show host to tell of something else that's happening in her life that is special...

"Oh, well, I can't talk about that, it's a secret"

With hardly any prompting, she quickly blurts out, "It's my great-aunt Dorothy's birthday and we're planning a surprise party!"

Radio Host says, "It might not be such a surprise now."

"It's alright, we haven't said our surname".

He dubs her "Karen from Manchester".

"Karen" then asks to give a shout out to her husband, Steve, daughter Arianna that was standing right next to her and a couple of other family members. She proceeds to again mention her upcoming trip to Las Vegas, her career field and that her husband's 40th birthday is coming up as well.

The radio host mentions that great-aunt Dorothy might be able to put this together.

Here's a tip for future parties planned by Karen's family:

You may want to have it as a surprise for her as well...



just saying.

*names have been changed to protect poor old great-aunt Dorothy.

Oh the Horror! I Think I'm Turning Into a Diva!

It started innocently enough with these...


Yes, my photo, my legs

but then I had to have these...

My photo, my window sill

and yesterday, I catwalked all over the store in these.

Nope, not my photo and have no idea who to give credit to

Aren't they lovely?!

Or they were until my 11 year old so rudely pointed out that they were too big.

Do you think they had my size? Of course not.
Do you think anyone in the free world has them in my size? Certainly not.

Dear Santa,

Remember how I wanted an Edward Cullen Stand Up figure?

Wouldn't these go nicely with it?

I blame HER for this shoe obsession.

Of course this is my photo, who else has one of these destroying her home?

The word "pink" wasn't even in my vocabulary until she was born and Merrill hiking boots were my shoe of choice.

But yesterday, there she was in the back of the cart and when I pulled those gorgeous blue Steve Madden shoes down to try on, OFF went her shoe and UP went a little socked foot as she demanded to have a try.

I think her DNA must've contaminated mine during pregnancy. A transference of sorts.

Whatever happened,
the Hubby's retirement goals are in danger...

What's your guilty pleasure these days?

You Cannot Leaf Imagination in Just ANYone's Hands

Sitting in an overheated, stuffy office in late October, I'm not sure if I would have been annoyed or enchanted with the little girls frolicking in the leaves outside my window.
But that's what someone suffered in a Fall season many years ago.

Leaves are kid magnets, especially for this kid who seemed to have very little parent supervision.

My friend and I would drag my Dad's rake down the block to the county courthouse lawn to rake and jump into the abundant Mulberry leaf treasure in the cool afternoon. Sometimes we'd pile them high to dive into, other times rake them into giant floor plans where our imaginations could envision mansions filled with beautifully dressed ladies.

Those are the memories that directed me out of the house this morning almost mid-sentence.
I had mail that needed preparing, calendars that needed updating, calls to return (on top of the usual house demands) but I left it all open, scattered like leaves on the countertops as I walked out into the queer Autumn light in a hypnotic trance.


I raked and pulled and reminisced as I piled the leaves higher and bigger.

As if I were on a mission, I dragged the piles down the drive and began stacking them on one side until I discovered that the mist was conspiring against my plan, diligently trying to become a light rain.

Rain wouldn't do for a great, crunchy leaf pile.

I pulled the mound back across the drive to the other side shielded from the moisture with conifers...

"Mom!"

Snapping out of my trance, I responded.

"Do you have the brown bin?" (that's the garden waste bin).

"No" I replied.

I heard it being rolled from the back garden to the front

where my children promptly began filling it with leaves.

You can look at this two ways.

You can say,

"Wow, what wonderful children, to see you working and
come out to help without being asked -- on their school holiday!"

Or you can see it like I did...

"Who ARE you people?!"

What kid bins a perfectly good jumping pile of leaves????

There, that's better.

At least they now understand this was supposed to be fun.

I'm Not Above A Good Smear Campaign

Hosted by Cecily and Kelli

The pressure on our winged creature of the night paid off. After her good name was smeared throughout blogland, the Tooth Fairy caved.

With three older brothers, I can't think of anything A2 has tried to hurry along more than the loss of a first tooth and to think when the momentous occasion finally occurred, that the Tooth Fairy forgot to visit? Unforgivable.

Well, she's repented. She successfully pulled off the tooth/cash switch for the boy's first lost tooth (teeth-- a second one came out the next day)...

but even better news?


His Wall-E lunch box came too. Just in time for school holiday. I have one happy little boy who still believes in magic

This little gap-toothed face,
was certainly worth fighting for.

This and That Thursday

This has been one insane week, I find myself dropping into bed far later than anyone who wants to remain civil in the daytime should.

I keep having dreams that I divorce my Hubby and now have this overwhelming urge to squirrel money away.

When I told him, he laughed. Hmmm...

Little guy, A2 (now six) finally lost his first tooth and that good-for-nothing Tooth Fairy never showed up (she should be sacked).

And YOU people. High Fiving me and congratulating me on the potty training while secretly snickering. YOU didn't bother to mention that with a girl, the potty thing is a whole new experience. It's an all-day job with overflowing sinks from creative hand washers and being out and about...who knew that exploring every toilet in every place could be so... time draining?

Little guy just ran in to show me he's pulled his other loose tooth out.

Tooth Fairy, you'd better not blow this one tonight.

She Nailed It

Did you hear that?

The sound of footsteps exiting the room. The sounds of the last few people who had previously hung on to the hope that this hadn't turned into another Mum blogging about her toddler...

Yes, it's Miss Ky again, gracing the pages of another PSF. What can I say, she just happens to be with me during all of my waking hours.
Most of that time I don't mind have a mini-girlfriend hanging around, but there are moments I wonder if my time could be spent more productively.
Between the eight times we celebrate the toilet and hand washing events, we lay out feasts of graham crackers and baby bell cheeses and dance to the Ting Tings.

Sometimes we do girly things
like fingernails.

I burned my soapbox against those ridiculous mothers painting 3 year-old's nails when Miss Ky began chewing her tiny little fingernails.
I now use polish as an incentive, "We don't want to bite our nails and ruin the pretty, do we?"


So today, after clipping off the remainder of a painfully low bitten nail, I suggested we polish. She's amazingly patient waiting for it to dry and always very proud of her chubby little hands.

Silly me thought I could do the dishes while leaving her with Bambii for a few minutes...
Sillier me thought she was satisfied with my paint job...
apparently not.



That is NOT my polishing job (just to be clear) and yes, my daughter does dress herself, why do you ask?

Hosted by Cecily and Carissa

Can You Really Whinge About and Praise a Company at The Same Time?

Here's a point to ponder:

With shipping costs rising exponentially, shouldn't we be getting better/faster service?

Recently (loosely translated: within this decade) I ordered a package from Disney (no, not THAT one). It was a lunch box for the boy with the big, brown, pleading eyes.

You know the boy, the little guy who already had a lunch box, but not a Wall-E one.

We're suckers for the weekly Mousey ad that appears in my email box, even though we have to really plan ahead since it takes FOREVER to get our stuff.
A Disney representative once confided in me that shipping to an APO could take 16 weeks.



Now what I want to know is, why?





They are only responsible for getting my goodies to New Jersey.
Amazon gets packages to me in less than 6 days; my mom's packages take 10 (she's in Podunkville, Far Western US); Ebay sellers, sometimes in as little as 4 days or as much as 12.

Here's the route my little lunch box has gone so far:

Sept. 11th it was in SC. It took three days (I think I could've walked there in that time) to reach Kentucky (Hi cousins!). KY took two days to get it to NJ and one day after that it was "tendered to USPS".

Now I pay just as much as you there in the US of A, however, my packaged is labeled "budget parcel"-- loosely translated in military-ese? "Throw this in the corner and when I have time to look at it again, I may load it onto a plane". It's the same place my magazines go and never come back from.

So Disney... What the heck? Does it cost you more to stamp "priority" or "first class" when that IS what I am paying?

Now, don't get me wrong and think I'm going all postal over my favorite place to send all of my Hubby's hard-earned dollars, because I'm not.
In fact, I am singing their "customer is always right" praises all over the place today.

While vacationing in the Magical World of Attention to Minute Detail, the hubby and I kept saying, "Wow, they think of everything!"
The kids couldn't wait to return to the room every night just to see what the housekeeping had been up to and we always came 'home' wrists adorned with rubber banded Photo Pass cards containing happy smiles from every location.

I dreamed of scrapbooks bulging with happy reminders.

Tips for future Disney trippers:

1.) The Photo Pass is brilliant for getting those shots of the entire family in Kodak spots, but VERY expensive. IF you pre-order your Disney Photo Pass before you go, you can get $50.00 off. Email me, I'll hook you up (or Google it, might be faster). Don't you dare scoff at $50.00, you know you easily handed Wally World twice that much in the last year for printing.
2.) Under NO circumstance should you try to view it while on vacation. You see, those cards begin ticking the minute you type the details in online. Tick Tick Tick, just like Captain Hook-- or was it the crocodile? Anyhoo, Photo Passes self-destruct in 30 days.


THIRTY days in a household as chaotic as ours whirs by at super sonic speed. I know this because in rare moments of alone-ness, I would bring up the photos and wonder which ones to toss and which ones to keep. Not all of their pictures were terrific. Some had me wondering just what credentials you had to have to splash a camera around in a wave pool. I began a "favorites"list to narrow it down.
And then one day "POOF" they were gone.



I was gutted. I stomped out of the computer room. What made me the most angry is that I KNEW we were running out of time, I just dropped the ball.

I tried to apply the "spilt milk" ointment, telling myself that I remembered the photos and had the memories and being upset wouldn't return them to my computer screen, but I kept coming back to the fact that there were pictures of all SEVEN of us in one spot, smiling.
I have no idea when another opportunity like that will come again.
Posed pictures of the oldest actually smiling? Priceless. and gone.

Seriously, I ached at that loss.

Prince Charming (aka Sexy Guy aka Hubby) wrote an email -- to the company that clearly states: "30 days, that's it, your loss, no recovery, boo hoo to you!" (okay, not exactly the wording).

While flailing around looking for our deleted albums, we discovered that one can extend one's viewing time for a fee. Crumbs, I might have even paid it had I seen that before we lost them all.

So, he wrote an email to the company that clearly states their deletion policy WHILE offering ample opportunities to keep one's photo memories.

Can you guess what the giant corporation replied to the silly, hysterical couple?

"Here's your pictures, And free extended time to view and order them".

Bless their little mousey hearts.
I love this company (and they love me. They received payment for those seven smiling, giddily happy tourists caught up in the magic within hours of hooking us up with our lost photos).



Well done, Disney, we'll certainly be back.




P/S If you could just speed up delivery times, I think you just might be dancing on perfection.

Because We Can't Always See the Bigger Picture

"Your life will change."

"But I like my life like it is."

"You will look back at this time and wonder how you found joy with this piece missing."

"I find that hard to believe. I'm happy, I have what I want.
In fact, if you're going to change my life,
then I'd like you to change it in a way where it's still the same...
but more".

"I don't take requests".

And then came you.

Obstinate, precocious, strong willed, clever, loving, beautiful, silly girl.

HE was right.

NOW my joy is complete.

Happy birthday my little Miss Ky.



Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

Day Four of Fine Arithmetic

This

+

this

=

LESS

This

and
=
more
this

If you can factor in

negative

this

My little girl is officially housebroken!
Go ahead, high five me.
What are you celebrating this week?

Dear Hubby,

About the credit card.
I'm sorry.
I couldn't help myself.

It's like solving a mystery -- or completing a 3000 piece puzzle -- when I'm finding all of those discount codes and so I really thought that after getting $30.00 discounted (with free shipping--TO an APO) that a $140.00 dress for the girl wasn't irrational... even if it can only be worn on certain occasions.



I see it now. The insanity. Like a blinking (sparkling, sequin-y) neon sign. Does it make you feel better that the purchase will help us earn 'free' Disney Dollars?

Maybe I should cut up the computer wires instead of the credit card?

I'll be outside if you need me.
In the rain.

Dear Liz*,

You know I gravitate towards your style, right?

Out of all of the plain white T's I will always pay triple to have yours.
Why? Not sure exactly, since they shrink up to an unbecoming belly shirt just as well as the others, but I do.

Recently you snagged me with your Jackie Kennedy-style cropped jeans.
Who wouldn't want to wear a garment that by the name alone inferred one will look like beauty in motion when the fabric is hugging one's thighs?

I bought them.

I brought them home.


Then I realized that the lovely Jackie wasn't a curvy/Rubenesque/fluffy woman so maybe an eye hook on the side of cropped jeans worked great for her slender little figure,
but for me...

I first realized this was a problem when the hubby wasn't home to help me hook my trousers. I was forced to smash my left girl flatter than a John and Edward duet just so I could see the blasted eye hook.
Things could only go bad from there...

Yes, my dear clothing line production team, when you put a tiny fastener on the side of a size 14 trouser, there could be serious legal consequences. Lucky for you I don't feel like telling a judge that I sprained my back trying to contort my body like a twelve year old playing Twister to hook my pants.

A simple button would've worked just fine.


*Yes, I do realize that Liz Claiborne passed away in 2007...I'm thinking had she been there, this travesty would never have occurred. And no, I can't give the photographer credit for this photo since I got it from a place where it had been lifted multi times before I got there and since I'm probably now permanently maimed I'm sure his/her lawyers will cut me some slack.