Out of all of the plain white T's I will always pay triple to have yours.
Why? Not sure exactly, since they shrink up to an unbecoming belly shirt just as well as the others,
but I do.Recently you snagged me with your Jackie Kennedy-style cropped jeans.
Who wouldn't want to wear a garment that by the name alone inferred one will look like beauty in motion when the fabric is hugging one's thighs?
I bought them.
I brought them home.
Then I realized that the lovely Jackie wasn't a curvy/Rubenesque/fluffy woman so maybe an eye hook on the side of cropped jeans worked great for her slender little figure,
but for me...
I first realized this was a problem when the hubby wasn't home to help me hook my trousers. I was forced to smash my left girl flatter than a John and Edward duet just so I could see the blasted eye hook.
Things could only go bad from there...
Yes, my dear clothing line production team, when you put a tiny fastener on the side of a size 14 trouser, there could be serious legal consequences. Lucky for you I don't feel like telling a judge that I sprained my back trying to contort my body like a twelve year old playing Twister to hook my pants.
A simple button would've worked just fine.
*Yes, I do realize that Liz Claiborne passed away in 2007...I'm thinking had she been there, this travesty would never have occurred. And no, I can't give the photographer credit for this photo since I got it from a place where it had been lifted multi times before I got there and since I'm probably now permanently maimed I'm sure his/her lawyers will cut me some slack.
As a woman who has more curves than an eye hook can contain - I feel your sprained back!
ReplyDeleteWe will get eye hooks and other fashion that maims until designers realize that the AVERAGE clothing size for women is a 14.
ReplyDeleteWe are not clothes hangers, like the models are.
HYSTERICAL!!!!! And I SOOOOO know your pain!!!!!!! Sporting some double D's myself I'm left to find all fasteners as tho I were Helen Keller! Sometimes fashion and beauty are painful.. I say this as I'm sitting in my comfy, no fasteners required, pajamas.. Lol!
ReplyDeleteVelcro.
ReplyDeleteSo been there...
ReplyDeleteOnce that back heals, I think we should all head en masse to a clothing designer and show them exactly what the average woman looks like, and what does and does not work on them. Maybe if one of us attempts to buckle hooks on our hips while looking past boobs it would be a good visual.
ReplyDeleteOnce that back heals, I think we should all head en masse to a clothing designer and show them exactly what the average woman looks like, and what does and does not work on them. Maybe if one of us attempts to buckle hooks on our hips while looking past boobs it would be a good visual.
ReplyDeleteROFL... I have sooo been there. Trust me. It's maddening (but funny as hell).
ReplyDeleteThe joys of putting clothes on that just don't darned well fit.
ReplyDeleteHad this problem the other day when in the first light of morning tried to get Daughter's jeans on my legs. She is nine. Tiny. I am 49. Not tiny. Could not work out why they wouldnt go above my knee.
Quite relieved on discovering that they were Not Mine.
Hope that back of yours is better. :)
I am with you on the buttons. Hooks and eyes often serve no purpose and frequently dig into you. I remove them if I can. Hope that your back is soon better.
ReplyDeleteYou always cheer me, no end! What fun you are to read...thanks for the giggles
ReplyDeleteSandi
oh my gawd!!!! I did not know that Liz Clayborne passed away. I will never have another nice outfit.
ReplyDeleteA side zipper? A side hook? A size 14? Why you petite svelte thing you!! How bout an 18? Them is elastic waistbands by then.
This is funny girl.
You'll never know how much joy this brought to me on day of all days, I broke my own pants (stupid hooks for buttons) and had Nyquil for dinner. :)
ReplyDeleteBlessings, C~
*huge huge laugh*
ReplyDeleteOuch for your sprained back....
I hate it when clothes look better on hangers than they do on me. I'm sorry about your back, though I have to admit that I secretly wish my boobs were large enough to get in the way of anything. Unfortunately, the term "well-endowed" does not apply to me. Nah, after nursing all this time, there's not much left. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to know that I have company in failing to see beyond my chest to the pants which won't fasten.
ReplyDeleteNo wait. I would never admit to that...
I have never understood the whole hook and eye thing on pants. It's just ridiculous. Sorry about the maiming.
ReplyDeleteOh good lord. You're only a 14? You're dead to me. Don't speak to me again till you're three sizes bigger, capiche?
ReplyDelete14. Merciful heavens. And you think that's big ...