Friday, April 9, 2010

Things are how they are...

My friend Tara gently hinted that she had to cut back on some of her church volunteer work... it was kind of her to be gentle with me since she was listening to my list of things I don't manage to accomplish every day, but it made me realize that some people don't know how my church works.

It begins with a seemingly innocent engagement of eyes across the chapel. The connection that is very quickly broken by anybody who knows never to make eye contact with anyone from the Bishopric. Eye contact could get you a talk next Sunday, or worse, a calling other than Sunday School Door Holder.

The intimidating person in suit and tie will ask you if you could come have a chat with him in his office... and if you give the Bishop a chat, he'll want an acceptance speech to go with it...

If he leans back comfortably and asks, "Sister Molly, how are you doing?" That's never a good sign. The more concerned he is with your children, husband, dog that died two years ago etc., the worse the calling is going to be.


He may lead in with all the reasons why he feels you're good for the position. He may not. He may leave you to squirm in your seat and wish you had worn Depends that day.


However it happens, it happens and you stumble out of the building with a plastered-on smile in stunned silence.


I didn't volunteer. I still don't volunteer if you want to know the truth. I can't cut back my volunteer time (well I could by disconnecting my phone, but someone always could find me).
On a regular basis I give this kind man an opening in case he's the one squirming now--realizing he's made a huge mistake. I've even suggested some great ladies who would step into my calling quite well.
I'm blatantly dropping hints about previously being a camp director, activities chairperson, Nursery Leader (that's the first clue that I'm desperate. I lead nursery at home, do I really want to do it again at church?) but it all seems to fall on broccoli ears.

It's been a year. He's not budging-- stubborn man.

A year as Relief Society President.

A year of constant reminders that I can't do everything right.

Reminders that I am unbelievably flawed as a human.

Reminders that some people who bear brilliant testimonies of following Christ refuse to do service for many reasons and that other people who have many reasons to be very self-absorbed, serve many silently.


I'd like to think that one day I will fall into the latter category- some future Relief Society President will never know to what extent I am serving.


I'm also hoping that day isn't too far off in the future. I make eye contact all of the time now.

The Bishopric is starting to look a little nervous about the tired, disheveled woman wearing two different coloured shoes (surrounded by wiggly children) staring at them throughout the service.


I wonder if a white flag would be too much...




"Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it."
--Mahatma Gandhi

"Things are how they are, and complaining doesn't help." John H. Groberg


"Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care." Fred Babbel

8 comments:

  1. I am going to work the word "no" into my vocabulary this year. I swear I am...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Once you volunteer - you are stuck for life! Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Two weeks ago, I sent an email (yes, an email) resigning from teaching Sunday school. Within seconds the pastor was calling and I had to answer because I knew he would be at door if I didn't. Of course I'm still teaching the class now.

    ReplyDelete
  4. My wife has been YW President for almost 3 years. You sound like you'd be a great camp director. I think she has been looking for one. You don't live in Murray do you? I'll get my briefcase.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I must admit I don't envy you. My mom has served as RS president several times and I have seen how much work it really is.
    I am sure you are doing a much better job than you give yourself credit for. And yeah, you must be desperate if you are wanting to be a nursery leader ;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. It took me forever to learn to say no. I volunteered for so many years & everyone knew they could call me & I'd say yes. Well, not any more. And at first they would get mad because I said no, which made me mad in return.

    Just tell them that if they will take care of Miss Ky while you volunteer, that you'll do it. That won't last long.

    Just remember, those who mind don't matter & those who matter don't mind...

    ReplyDelete
  7. ummmmmmmmm.... Winston Churchill? Never give up ... never give up ... and never give in, except to your own convictions of what is morally right (or something? blah blah blah?) Who says you can't quit jobs at church? I say give four weeks notice and that's IT. We are allowed to self advocate. I liked how they did it at the single's ward. Each calling only lasted six months and then EVERY CALLING SHIFTED except for bishopric. It was brilliant. I think everyone would be willing to try out a calling if they knew it would only last six months, don't you?

    HI.

    Hug!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. First of all pretend we are sitting accross from each other having delicious drinks and lots of chocolate and I am looking at you with a confused and partially shocked look on my face... and then I say...


    ummm... so you say yes and keep doing something you hate and dono't have time or energy for out of guilt and fear of your clergy-type-person? Am I getting this right? And you can't get out of it because they call it a "calling" and that means it is God telling you to do it? yes? Did you have any confirmation that it was, in fact, God calling you to do it or are you just taking intimidating-guys' word for it?

    I'm just asking to make sure I have this right... is it your perception of the situation and not wanting to look bad etc. or is there some sort of rule in your church backing this up? Like if you say no you will get kicked out or something?

    Clearly I am confused.

    Because if it were me I think I would go up to dude-in-charge and say "I'm done. You can't intimidate me anymore. Plus you suck. Good bye." and then I would sit grinning happily in the pews every Sunday thereafter. And if they gave me a hard time I'd just find a new church to go to.

    I wouldn't want my kids to feel like that in our church so us moms shouldn't feel like that either.

    Want me to come over and kick him for ya? Can you get your hubby to kick him for ya?

    *ok, now pretend you are explaining it to me and we are eating more chocolate and now pretend you are getting your hubby to go and beat the crap out of that guy.*

    (just kidding)
    (mostly)

    ReplyDelete

This may be the only adult conversation I have all day, don't leave me now!

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