Can I Have Another Letter, Vanna?

Dear Production Organizers,

You could possibly be panicking over the fact that you didn't choose a script for this years' production until well past the usual rehearsal time.
You could possibly be under enormous pressure from the school officials to get everything together quickly to be prepared to go on stage on the calendared night.
However, you cannot be serious sending home a fact sheet of expected costumes with all parts listed except my sons (and then expecting an 11 year-old to relay the correct information of what he should have to me).

Did you really want him to provide a white tuxedo?! And a top hat? Did I mention that he is 11?

Well I did a quick look on eBay uk, but then he said he could wear a regular suit coat AND that if I "got (him) a black suit, (he) could also use it for church". So I begin perusing the Sears and JCPenney sites for cheaper suit coats for this child that will outgrow it before the summer has passed when he informs me, "I need to have it by Wednesday."

Stunned silence.

Even if I could sew, I couldn't possibly sew a tuxedo for a kid from Thursday night to Tuesday night-- not with football, cricket, swim and church activities. I'm also at a time loss for ordering from the states (even eBay uk can't help me with that short amount of time).

I'm experiencing repressed anger over the countless other costumes I have been expected to come up with with just a few days' notice, the most recent being a Roman soldier with armor. Maybe you're uber crafty with a roll of foil, but I certainly am not.

I am tired of paying high dollar out of my kids' college funds because you have organizational issues. You want a white tuxedo for a pre-pubescent boy, you order one. Get back with me by tuesday so we can be sure it fits please. Oh, and don't forget the top hat.



Addendum: The same child just used my blue linen dinner napkins to clean the bathroom sink with bleach. Forget the costume, you can just have the kid.