Ok look. At the risk of sounding like Sad Sack, I'm just going to say it.
I am not a big pity party waiting for a place to happen.
I actually pride myself on being pretty good at keeping it fun and light (be quiet husband), but for some reason
again,
I was hugely rejected.
It happened yesterday and here we are 24 hours later and I still can't shake it.
The poor Hubby had to talk me down from the ledge on a dodgy ichat connection at 1 am.
At a recent school gathering, the subject of New Moon came up-- with smiles and laughter--
from the woman I had to beg to read Twilight. I actually bought TWO copies of the book and passed both out among a particular group of friends to convince them to read it. They all loved it. She told me she was counting down to the movie-- she was going to see it in London.
Silly Me: "Oh! I want to go!!" (That brash American trait where I will invite myself when it includes Twilight)
Thoughtless Her: "Oh, I'm sorry, you can't, it's a private party". (laughter, smile smile)
Silly Me thinking she was being hilarious, or maybe a little serious because she had this special "date" booked with her teen daughter: I'm the one who convinced you to read it and your snubbing me! (Ha, ha, I am so funny)
Unkind Her: "Well we have had this group lined up for ages!" (smile laugh smile --Oh, did i just hurt your feelings? Never mind, the sun is shining, smile smile)
Me: "Oh. I. see."
I began to excuse myself to go get refreshments for my boys. She sort of caught on that maybe what she had just done was a little tactless and began saying, "Well, you can come on then if you really want to come".
Not feeling quite so silly now Me: "No, really-- thank you. I had actually considered flying to the states to see it with friends before I found out it was being released here on the same day "(real friends, I'm thinking, and no, I didn't coat it with sarcasm).
So, I'm hurt.
Am I over sensitive?
I saw this as an "in your face, you don't really matter to us" incident.
I have some good people who have done some wonderful, thoughtful things for my family, so why am I dwelling on this?
Do you suppose I'm just suffering post-cookie-baking-in-the-middle-of-the-night disorder?
Nope, pretty sure that was hurtful. Some people are just like that. Don't let 'em get you down.
ReplyDeleteSet up your own group to go see it!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, hon. Some people are just thoughtless like that. Shake it off, gather some friends of your own, and have a good time.
ReplyDeleteThose were pretty thoughtless and ill-chosen words. If she's a good person, she's realizing how poorly that exchange came across and is probably beating herself up over it worse than you are - in which case she'll probably readdress it. If not, then there just isn't a loss to mourn.
ReplyDeleteIt's painful anyway, and I'm sorry for your hurt.
Yes, that was rude and mean of her, and you have a right to feel slighted and hurt. However, please don't dwell on it because her friendship or approval or whatever is obviously not worth much. You know that old saying, "with friends like that..."
ReplyDeleteSince when is going to a movie a "private party" where another can't be included. That's just crazy and completely rude in my opinion.
Don't let her rudeness infringe upon your happiness. She's the one with a problem, not you.
Go with some other friends or with your family or by yourself to the movie there or fly to the states and see it with one of us who consider you a wonderful friend, but don't allow her rudeness to take up any more of your time which is much better spent finding things to be happy about. Hugs to you.
I would have felt the same way and would probably obsess over it for months. My feelings get hurt very easily but I hide it very well.
ReplyDeleteLeft something for you over at my place. Hope you can pick it up soon.
ReplyDeleteJane
World is full of different minded personalities and those some people are the part of this world too so need to manage.Dnt have any other option..Unseen Rajasthan
ReplyDeleteHow very thoughtless. I probably would have said something equally thoughtless, as my tongue gets in the way of my brain as often as not, but the second comment was uncalled for. I'm so sorry. She needs a special batch of midnight brownies. With ExLax baked in.
ReplyDeleteOh I hate her already. You take that book back from her and never speak to her again. What a stupid cow. Yuck. Did I say I hated her? Don't you get yourself upset over someone like that. It's not worth it. Hugs from down South xxxxxxxxxxx
ReplyDeleteAt first I thought you were making this up. (I'm catching onto your witty sense of humor, girlfriend.) Then I got to the bottom and realized this was FOR REALS!!!! WHAT!?!?!?!?!
ReplyDeleteOh gross! (Well, if they can be so Jr. High, I can too.)
My feelings are hurting for you all the way over here at Wisteria Cottage.
Hmmmm . . . [thinking, thinking, thinking . . . ] Aha! Let's go see it together and let them come along to see how REAL friends behave. You know: linking arms with EVERYBODY -- even those we just met or don't really know except through a webby connection -- sharing Jr. Mints freely, using proper manners, laughing uproariously in unison and then crying unceremoniously with tissues to deal out, later biting our knuckles in terror as we pull our sweaters over our eyes, and on the list goes.
Only one problem: I haven't read the books or seen any of the previous films (how many now?), I live gazillions of miles away, and lastly I have a delicate stomach for GROSS behavior (and it hurts to keep biting one's tongue so often in a short span of time).
SO . . . take a deep breath, go gaze at those poppies you so recently bragged over (the kind of seed I broadcast liberally when I first moved in and saw about three blooms the first year . . . never again! Drat!) and think about our future tea date when you can tell me ALL ABOUT the Twilight tales (even act them out) while I gleefully smile and then pout that I should have read the books before letting you spoil the whole plot for me in a single teatime.
Ah . . . 'tis a HOT summer's day and I am dreaming. Wanna dream along with me . . . friend? XO!
I have known one or three of those people and that was pretty hurtful and thoughtless. Of course you could have come back with a belly laugh, wide open eyes and 'Oh, God, no sorry! You didn't think I meant it, did you? Heck no. I'm actually going with some true friends the moment it hits the cinemas here'.
ReplyDeleteI think it was hurtful too. Even if she'd just acknowledged her Twilight-loving debt to you.
ReplyDeleteThe cookie episode might contribute, but it wasn't polite of said friend to treat you the way she did. With that said, I'll say that people are one of the biggest reasons I'm anti-social. They disappoint me right and left, so I have pretty much no expectations of them. Do I still get burned? Yes, because there's always one I talk myself into trusting (against my better judgment, usually), and she will always surpass the last in really bad behavior. But I've also learned there are a few (very few) really GOOD ones, and although I get a little sting sometimes, I really don't let the rotten ones bother me. Like you, I DO have MUCH better friends than the likes of this woman. Try not to worry about her. Focus on the nice people you know.
ReplyDeleteI just went back and read the post from last year to which you referred. I know exactly what you mean, except that I don't ignore friends when a new friend comes along. (Probably because I choose not to have that many friends.) Most of my friends and low-maintenance. I have a VERY busy life, and they have busy lives. We can get together and chat like we've never been away from each other, but we don't make demands on one another's time. But I've had my share of friends(more than my share, in my opinion), that clamor to be my friend. Make unreasonable demands on my time. I have stupidly told them I'd have to try to rearrange things and spend the whole day figuring out how I can adjust this responsibility or that, call the friend, and they've made plans with another friends. As time passed, I've learned to let it (and the friend) go, or they will abuse me in a time when there is no one else for them to call. They will borrow something and PROMISE to return it in two days and take 2 years--only if I call. I'm an ultra-nice person which is why I think people of that type want to be my friend. But they can't take it that I have a life other than them. They can still "get" to me, but not for long. They are SO not worth my worry.
ReplyDeleteI know that in your shoes, that I would be hurt, but just forget about it if you can. People like that are not worth bothering with.
ReplyDeleteI just saw Twilight for the first time a couple of weeks ago - it was not what I expected (I think I expected mindless twaddle)! I felt like a teenager watching it ;) and then had to borrow the rest of the books from my sister.. of course, I haven't actually read Twilight, which she (like you) had been lending out to anyone who stood still long enough. Maybe I'll get my own copy! Now, in regards to the thoughtless mole, please do me a favour, don't associate with her in any way, any time, or any where. As if there wasn't room for one more to go see a movie together! Bollocks.
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