I do wash my children's clothes. Daily. Meaning ALL day every day.
Maybe my observation skills could be sharpened so that I catch the child who chose the muddy trousers over the lavendar-vanilla scented ones hanging in his wardrobe before we get in the car, but I only have two eyes and four children moving about so rapidly they appear more like eight Mexican jumping beans.
The third child's collection of school jumpers? Thank you for forcing him to finally bring them home. Unfortunately I found them after midnight, rolled into his swimming bag with all of his wet things...
I do bathe my children regularly.
I can't control what they do while I am asleep (for the three hours I am NOT doing laundry), nor can I stop them from playing musical bed during the night--possibly ending up with a sibling who drools. The Pop Rocks? I have NO idea how they got in the bed and do have a photo proving that her hair was washed prior to sleeping in them.
If you are unhappy with the way my children fall asleep in Math class, I welcome you to come look after them while I drive siblings to activities (which puts the entire clan to bed long after the pubs have closed). I assure you, I have gladly made the decision to cut non-priority items from our schedule. If you could just help me enforce that decision--beginning with asking my Hubby to try NOT cutting his finger off just before dinner. Driving to a hospital an hour away can really wreak havoc on sleeping schedules. And yes, Mr. Graceful is fine.
Also, kindly disregard any tall-tales you may have heard today of a mother beginning her child's day with: "What were you thinking?!" and "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm sorry, but 30 years from now you will NOT EVEN REMEMBER THIS DAY, much less be angry at me for making you late", it's probably something they heard on the television.
By the way...why WOULD I apologize for driving one kid ALL THE WAY TO HIS SCHOOL (now making three others late) because he missed the bus when I insisted he SHOWER?
Lastly, the youngest child really didn't want me there for her special school tour and had repeatedly told me so. Out of respect for her growing independence, I thought it was best to leave her to it in your lovely little classroom with the sand box (and her friends) while I chatted with the other parents (who had obviously chosen to do the same thing).
So in case your first impression is that my children are unattended, tired, disheveled and dirty, I ask that you would look again. My children are fed, clean and relatively unbeaten which is better care than I'm getting-- have you ever had a four year-old kick you in the kidneys while you were trying to sleep (in between loads of laundry)?
You are welcome to come to our home at any time to observe their care. They are available for your supervision any day ending with "y".
Kindest Regards,
The wild beasts' Mum.
You are awesome! I believe you. :)
ReplyDeleteHope Mr. Graceful's still fine. Men will do anything to get out of helping, won't they? ;)
Mothers worldwide are trying to come up with a way to shrinkwrap clean children.
ReplyDeleteAnd don't worry, once they reach adolescence, and notice the lovelies of the opposite sex, you won't be able to get them OUT of the shower.
I think about ten minutes is the longest my boys ever lasted being clean when they were little. I agree with June, though, once they hit the teen years and noticed the girls, they became all about being neat and clean and smelling good. (Well, that smelling good thing depends on who you are--they INTEND to smell good, but sometimes they are a bit heavy handed with the Axe cologne.) :D
ReplyDeleteYou are too funny. I can't even begin to imagine keeping up with four kids. I'm surprised to see that your days still end with "y" as opposed to "why?" ;)
ReplyDeleteha ha ha...
ReplyDeleteand... sorry. go sneak in a nap while the laundry dries.
Your letters always make me smile! I hope your day with the kiddos gets better!
ReplyDeleteI feel like I need a nap now. Oh, and, Gah.
ReplyDeleteMy kiddos have always threatened to call social services to which I run and get them the phone and explain that in prison, someone else cooks my meals and lights out means lights out.
ReplyDeleteAmen.
shrink wrapping children is strictly forbidden around here, so mine go to school as they always have... with whatever they've managed to put on (after asking to change multiple times). I keep reminding my olders that they make padded rooms for me, all I need to do is find it, and check in... AHHH a vacation!
ReplyDeleteGood night Irene. Again, I wish I lived close by.
ReplyDeleteOh my. You are so living my life. My biggest issue now is my daughter, who when it was 5 minutes past leaving time, tells me that she hadn't eaten her breakfast because no-one gave her a bowl, that was sitting on the table. Because you know I starve my children. Sheesh!
ReplyDeleteAhhh. I can't wait until my kids are teenagers, except that I can and hope they stay their ages forever.
ReplyDeleteMy wife complains about laundry more than anything. I feel for her, but if I say too much, I know somehow I'll end up doing it.
And showering?! You insisted on showering?! What kind of mother are you???
Oh boy, this brings back memories - shudder! (I didn't pull "Shrink wrapped Scream" out from no-where, y'know..)
ReplyDeleteI do love the way you write, it's always a delight to visit you - thanks for getting my morning off to a good start!
This post makes me want to laugh and say, "awww" all at the same time. It is just exhausting! Nonstop. Freaking kids? Whose idea was it to have kids in the first place? ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm with ya hon. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteYou are doing better than me!
ReplyDeleteIt is amazing how messy one child can get in less than two seconds!
If this was Facebook, I'd click the Like button.
ReplyDeleteI am feeling your pain. I have a child who has a cold. No matter how often I medicate him and wipe his nose or even teach him how wipe his nose, he comes home looking like a glazed doughnut.
ReplyDeleteOh and thank you for reminding me it is time to change the laundry.
This cracked me up!
ReplyDeleteIs it okay if I'm laughing?
ReplyDeletePerfection. They should post this on the school doors!
ReplyDeleteooohh!!!! I love the background and header!!!
ReplyDeleteso cute!
Just so you know, my kids are all those things because, well, I'd rather spend my time creating and or browsing through cute backgrounds and headers and such.
It's gotten so that Justin says this: "mommy, mommy, mooommmmy--look at me, mommy" when trying to get my attention.