Your Momma's Gone Missing

In the event that your Momma has gone missing,

it's best to retrace your steps to see where she might have been mislaid.

Go back as far as your memory will take you-- Thursday night?

Let's see, you might have seen her come home from her big church event that had caused her a week of stress (and a snapped party tent from the high winds that threatened her plans).

You might remember her standing at Dad's car saying, "What is that burning smell?" followed by a forlorn look when she realized yet again, she would be without a car while his went back into the garage.

Wait, she was still accounted for Friday morning when she was called back to the school to fetch a little girl who was miserably constipated... and you might remember her (vaguely) at the Guy Fawkes Bonfire evening with friends. She was the one who sat in the bathroom the whole night with Miss Ky while you all ate BBQ'd burgers and set off fireworks.

No, Mom wasn't missing at 9.00pm when Miss Ky threw up and she hoisted up the white flag-- deciding to finally take her home...
and didn't Mom greet everyone else at 10.00 when they came laughing in the door?

Saturday?

Pretty sure she was still doing bathroom duty with Miss Ky and when everyone but Mom piled into a car to go see the Norwich game, she was still accounted for.

Maybe it was after the full day standing in the bitter cold wind and sporadic rain for a kids' football game and then suffering through a burned burger with greasy chips with the team (you know, the new thing they started to build social bonds between the kids)...

You might seem to remember her setting up a table to scrapbook on (a joke on it's own)-- conveniently placing a chair next to it. Convenient for you to swipe for Rock Band while she put your dinner in the oven.
Remember how she sneezed and coughed and blew her nose every five minutes while you sang, and drummed and laughed merrily away in the other room?

That seems to be when she went missing.

My advice is, when you find her, you better do the sucking up of your life because the woman knows how to use a credit card and flights are always leaving Heathrow...