Leading up to this excursion, he has said some pretty schtoopid things:
As I have moaned for three days about the lack of passion/direction/rewarding life experiences I am accumulating, he turns to me and says, "Have you heard of...(foreign historical site)?"
"No." I answer, but just by the name I can tell where it is.
"I'm thinking I might go there when my plane lands...
yes, you do that.
Last night I ask, "Are you packed?"
I have to do this with him or he will wait until the night before his flight and then pack until 3 am (with all lights engaged) when I am expected to drive him to the airport at 4am. He will sleep on the plane, I will come back home and get kids ready for school. "I started," He says.
"Did you pack your running things?" Training for a half-marathon doesn't take a holiday because he's in a different country, "Well, some, but the rest of it hasn't been washed yet."
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| Source: LiveJournal |
The end of that sentence weighs more than I did when delivered Miss Ky.
So, I walk (with attitude) into the laundry room where there is ONE running shirt and TWO pairs of shorts. WTH? The man has several other running shirts and he can't pack because I haven't done his laundry in the last ten minutes?
Yesterday, I stood on a frozen pitch watching J2 become a mud man in football training, thinking of how I'm going to be soaking those white shorts and socks for a week. Have I mentioned how I loathe laundry? My wellies do not do much for warmth and I may have lost all use of my toes permanently. Nearly two hours he trained.
We enter the house, Mud man and Frozen me, to be greeted by Husband who is dressed to go for his run... "it should take an hour". The kids need lunch and the 7 year-old needs to wrap a gift and sign a card for his best friend's birthday that starts in an hour and a half...
I have to award him points. One look at my face and he decided he could do his "long" run on Monday. In a different country.
Daughter says some interesting things too. Some can't be repeated. REALLY would like to know where they come from...
Tonight, the kids are playing a game at the dinner table while I wash up the pans. It sounds a little like "Spin-the Bottle" but the "bottle" may be a fork being spun around on my nice wood table-- not sure. Don't want to look. I hear LOTS of laughter.
"THIS person," J2 declares, "Will have to stand on a chair and sing..."
giggle giggle followed by Hysterical laughing when the person is picked and has to do their dare.
Next turn, "This person... has to go on to Britains Got Talent and just fart and burp".
They're convulsing now.
"THIS person has to go on Britain's Got Talent NEKKED!"
Miss Ky shouts, "ME! Pick ME!"
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I'm thinking your life could totally be a hit TV show. Reminds me a little of The Middle. Do you get that there?
ReplyDelete"The end of that sentence weighs more than I did when delivered Miss Ky."
ReplyDeleteHilarious. And yes, Tammy is right about The Middle. Does your hubby have a bright yellow cross-country training sweatshirt? ;)
As you enjoy your "wifely vacation", which is my positive spin for being responsible.for.absolutely.everything.24/7, perhaps you will have thirty or so uninterrupted seconds with which to determine where your passions lie.
ReplyDeleteAnd if that works, tell me how to do it next, ok?
I love reading your stuff...it's so real and normal.
Your kids do chores, right? Because mom's going to have a nervous breakdown soon. Family meeting when dad gets back, woman.
ReplyDeleteI really need to pray for you on a much more regular basis. I can FEEL the frustration burning my eyes as I read. Miss Ky needs a large locked box to spend most of her life in. Is your husband a good shot? Do you have lots of rifles and ammo? How about her brothers? It may take them all you know.
ReplyDeleteI wish my DH would go on a trip!!!
ReplyDeleteHmmm, I'm torn between being amazed he's still alive after meeting you at the door with the list of what needed done and being amazed that he actually had any idea of what needed done. I assure Mark wouldn't have had the vaguest idea.
ReplyDeleteHubby away for a week? Hope he realizes he owes you some serious good turns when he gets home.
You didn't really succumb to washing his last-minute laundry, did you? I am aghast! He was not without options: buy new clothes, choose other clothes or wash his own clothes.
ReplyDeleteLOL! I just found the comment box! It was stacked under a zillion other applications!
ReplyDeleteSilly me.
I love your posts!!! You are an amazing writer.
Good to be back. Working on catching up with everyone.
Have fun in husbandless days - It'll make up for all the laundry :)
ReplyDeleteOk, the kids spin the fork game cracks me up.
ReplyDeleteYour husband, not so much.
I think he needs to be introduced to the doghouse.
Oh man! I know I shouldn't but I laughed and laughed through this post! Sorry to 'mock' your pain!
ReplyDeleteGrrr. What is it about hubbies being so totally clueless!!!!! You and I should go on a MONTH LONG vacation so that they can properly appreciate us when we get back. Grrr...
ReplyDeleteWhat is it with husbands & kids? They're really put on this earth to make our lives miserable 80% of the time and happy 20% of time. How is that fair trade for all we do? Oh, that's right. I forgot hubby kissed me goodnight before retiring last night. I forgot I'm supposed to be grateful for that much.
ReplyDeleteThe problem is... that we just don't realize *our place* in life. As. Servants.
Mr. Snooty told me the other day that there is no such thing as multi-tasking. I had to ask him what universe he lives in. Really. Stoopid. Argh!
I love your writing. I send you a cheery wave from across the Channel.
ReplyDeleteI could very much relate to what you've written here and how your husband rather just 'doesn't get it' sometimes. I had the same type of problem with mine. Of course, MY particular plan of action that I took in dealing with my husband was a bit drastic... I divorced his fine white arse. I don't suggest you go down that line. Because you're still left with all the previous problems, and one less adult to help you manage.
Unless, of course, you now view the husband as a 44 year-old child with the attitude of a spoiled toddler, then, by all means, do as I did. (But probably best to just think about throwing him to the winds, that rather works as well. And he'll still be around to kiss goodnight.)
Kind regards, Kitty
Ha ha! Even I wouldn't do that! And I dressed up as Barney and picked up Chinese food.
ReplyDeleteSo do you think he is actually going to run in this beautiful place? Or do you think he will pretty much slack?
you might as well laugh, huh?
ReplyDeletegood luck while your hubby is gone. why don't you wash all his stuff with something bright red? ;)
Oh dear!! :)
ReplyDeleteAnd then he return home and it will take a while to unpack and for him to get back into the routine of the family - all while you never miss a beat. Such is life.
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