The phone shrilled me awake. I bolted from the bed to stop the ringing before it disturbed the bed guest that had joined me at 3 am (I am cursing the day I converted Miss Ky's crib to toddler bed).
On the other end was Son #1 in hysterics. Literally, hysterics. Through sounds that sounded like a cross of maniacal laughter and wailing I waited for the words, "I've shot myself" or "I cut myself". He couldn't complete a full word other than "Mom?!".
I kept calmly saying, "Take a breath, J1 I need you to calm down and tell me what's happened because you're scaring me" and he responded, "I....I....I...".
This is the life I lead with a child who won't get professional help.
Apparently young girlfriend hasn't been all she's been telling him (didn't we all know she was lying?).
The thing about youth, it makes you stupid and you do stupid things, like post photos all about the guy you're seeing behind another guy's back for the last two months.
I asked, "She wasn't smart enough to block you from MyFarce?"
"She did, but she didn't block the band's account" (clever boy).
So it's a toss up. Fly to the states to kick her useless little hind end myself or hire a hit man. I don't know any hit men, but I'm figuring with today's economy, there are plenty of people wanting a little cash. Ok, for the sake of the one fool that thinks I might be dangerous to a teenage girl, we all know I wouldn't really do this right?
Mothers, "train up your (daughters) in the way she should (be honest)". Please teach them that the words, "You deserve someone better than me" aren't always the best words to extricate oneself from a relationship one has lost interest in.
Young dating-aged woman, young men are like puppies. If you stroke their egos and show them affection occasionally, they will follow you anywhere. They are blind to your cruelness and will eagerly accept your apologies after neglect. You'd never kick a puppy in the face, so don't do it to a young man either.
I'll get off my soap box now. That's what I do on three hours of sleep, I preach. I tell everyone how to rear their children and ramble on a blog that has somehow attracted spammers from China (go away useless scum)(readers from China are always welcome, spam not so much so).
Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to try to nap before I have to pick up Things 2-4 from their football camp so that I can feed them and drag them all to Thing 2's football training. I live the enviable life.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Responsibilities Of A Mother
When a woman begins her role as Mother, there are certain things expected of her.
She will nurture her children.
She will feed, clothe and care for them.
She'll nurse them when they're unwell and hold them when they're sad.
It is her responsibility to teach them and guide them in ways that will
help them become productive contributing adults.
I...
well,
I feed my children.
It's Spring Break! All rationality goes out the window on Spring Break. What are you doing to squash the "I'm bored!" cries?
P/S Number one son is, at the very moment of this posting, driving to be with his Grandpa! Thank you for your prayers!! Happy Easter.
She will nurture her children.
She will feed, clothe and care for them.
She'll nurse them when they're unwell and hold them when they're sad.
It is her responsibility to teach them and guide them in ways that will
help them become productive contributing adults.
She should direct them in good decision making.
I...
well,
I feed my children.
12C (approx. 54F) outside temp.
Those are my kids.
In the unheated pool.
Miss Ky is the only one dressed appropriately.
In the unheated pool.
Miss Ky is the only one dressed appropriately.
Oh, I had a coat on as well, so I wouldn't get cold while taking pictures.
It's Spring Break! All rationality goes out the window on Spring Break. What are you doing to squash the "I'm bored!" cries?
P/S Number one son is, at the very moment of this posting, driving to be with his Grandpa! Thank you for your prayers!! Happy Easter.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Hi Rob, Welcome to My World
You never know when Rob Patz might be surfing the Internet and may even be googling the words "hostage", "gutter" and "women who live on the same island as me".
I've been worried that he might come by and see all I can write about is a currently heartbroken son (who is avoiding me because I called him too many times, but worse has given me nothing to report on-- as in decisions being made).
So just in case he's here (RPatz, not the son-- keep up, will you?):
Rob, I'm actually very funny and I tell these wonderful stories about
lack of sleep...
farting...
football...oh dear...
moving house...
ceramic cows...
poop/nappies/children/vomit/head wounds (sigh)
um yeah.
You might just want to move along now...
nothing to see here vampire man.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Thank You
Thank you everyone for your kind words, encouragement and concern. I'm sorry if I haven't replied personally, but I'm still getting all of these other kids to their functions as well as frying my brain with a phone up against my head for hours at a time.
I don't have a lot to report other than it has been a really long 36 hours and I've managed to make him angry with me (and that's ok!). At one point yesterday he said "Everyone's calling and texting and I wished they'd just leave me alone".
Sometimes with J1 he needs that good, movie-type slap across the face and I gave it to him verbally: "You can NOT send out emails and phone calls threatening suicide and NOT expect us to try to intervene. You cried for help and that's what we're doing."
There were moments when I felt relief yesterday. Like when my Mom called and said she had talked him into heading to NV to stay with them for a while, but when I called him, he said that "was only in her mind", he wasn't going there.
Other moments I was angry and frustrated like when I told him he WOULD call the base (to see a "Life Skills" doctor that we provided him with the direct numbers for) and he said, "I will in a while". (I later received a text message that he played a video game and then went to sleep, therefore missing the opportunity to call them before they closed for the weekend). (!!!)
This isn't a one-time event. He hits these lows. There was one time when I was awakened by a very loud noise and I laid petrified in my bed. My only thoughts were, "He finally did it" and I didn't want to go into his room out of fear of what I would find.
You probably wonder why we never sought help for him.
We did when he was younger and he was diagnosed to have "mild depression and dislocation disorder", something attributed to our having moved 6 times in 2 years (military) and they said it would go away in 6 months. The rest of the time I chalked his severe mood swings up to teenage hormones and just really rough life experiences he was dealing with.
I can see now, that wasn't the case.
So now, we push for him to go in and be seen. We provide the phone numbers, the moral support and lose sleep. It wouldn't be any different if we were there-- he'd ignore us in person the same as he ignores our advise on the phone.
Thanks for your suggestions, your prayers and your hugs.
I won't be putting the five of us on a plane just yet, but appreciate the offers for help with the kids--especially the emails from people who understand how a military family living overseas doesn't really have the resources for leaving the other children behind. Your thoughtfulness lifted me!
I hope to thank each of you personally but it may take a while, I'm sitting on the phone with a sad, stubborn young man.
and because I can't remember how to remove an inappropriate closing signature,
I don't have a lot to report other than it has been a really long 36 hours and I've managed to make him angry with me (and that's ok!). At one point yesterday he said "Everyone's calling and texting and I wished they'd just leave me alone".
Sometimes with J1 he needs that good, movie-type slap across the face and I gave it to him verbally: "You can NOT send out emails and phone calls threatening suicide and NOT expect us to try to intervene. You cried for help and that's what we're doing."
There were moments when I felt relief yesterday. Like when my Mom called and said she had talked him into heading to NV to stay with them for a while, but when I called him, he said that "was only in her mind", he wasn't going there.
Other moments I was angry and frustrated like when I told him he WOULD call the base (to see a "Life Skills" doctor that we provided him with the direct numbers for) and he said, "I will in a while". (I later received a text message that he played a video game and then went to sleep, therefore missing the opportunity to call them before they closed for the weekend). (!!!)
This isn't a one-time event. He hits these lows. There was one time when I was awakened by a very loud noise and I laid petrified in my bed. My only thoughts were, "He finally did it" and I didn't want to go into his room out of fear of what I would find.
You probably wonder why we never sought help for him.
We did when he was younger and he was diagnosed to have "mild depression and dislocation disorder", something attributed to our having moved 6 times in 2 years (military) and they said it would go away in 6 months. The rest of the time I chalked his severe mood swings up to teenage hormones and just really rough life experiences he was dealing with.
I can see now, that wasn't the case.
So now, we push for him to go in and be seen. We provide the phone numbers, the moral support and lose sleep. It wouldn't be any different if we were there-- he'd ignore us in person the same as he ignores our advise on the phone.
Thanks for your suggestions, your prayers and your hugs.
I won't be putting the five of us on a plane just yet, but appreciate the offers for help with the kids--especially the emails from people who understand how a military family living overseas doesn't really have the resources for leaving the other children behind. Your thoughtfulness lifted me!
I hope to thank each of you personally but it may take a while, I'm sitting on the phone with a sad, stubborn young man.
and because I can't remember how to remove an inappropriate closing signature,
Reasons Bloggers Go into Hiding
Do you remember last year when I moaned about a girlfriend my son was involved with? Do you remember how I was attacked for voicing my opinion and concerns about this girl and her parents? Well, I think I lost that anonymous reader (after they stuck their barbed words into my self doubts), but I wish he or she were here now.
I would tell Anonymous: That girl that I thought wasn't good for my son? The girl that I stated plainly was nice enough, my fears were about the relationship and how unhealthy it was? That girl has decided (again) that my son "is too good" for her and "deserves someone better" (all translated to: I'm young and fickle and have found someone else and I want to manipulate you as you've been manipulating me for these past couple of years).
You said, "...another slam at the girlfriend that's not good enough for your son! What if your son reads this post? What if the girl does? Do you even care? You seem very hateful."
Yep, hateful like a mother can be when she's afraid her emotionally imbalanced son is on the verge of suicide and she's 5000 miles away.
I was awakened by the phone at midnight and sat with him for over an hour as he talked about how he had no reason to keep moving forward. I encouraged him to get some medical help right away. He reassured me that he was going to sleep first and would do that first thing in the morning. At 7am, my email inbox had a message that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
He's alone. He's suicidal and I can't do a thing about it from here.
Ask me again how I feel about this girl. Just to avoid misunderstandings again-- the girl may be fine, the girl + my son is not. My son + any girl when he's struggling with depression is a bad mix, but a young girl living out Romeo and Juliet fantasies is extremely dangerous.
I'm 5000 miles away. What do I do?
I would tell Anonymous: That girl that I thought wasn't good for my son? The girl that I stated plainly was nice enough, my fears were about the relationship and how unhealthy it was? That girl has decided (again) that my son "is too good" for her and "deserves someone better" (all translated to: I'm young and fickle and have found someone else and I want to manipulate you as you've been manipulating me for these past couple of years).
You said, "...another slam at the girlfriend that's not good enough for your son! What if your son reads this post? What if the girl does? Do you even care? You seem very hateful."
Yep, hateful like a mother can be when she's afraid her emotionally imbalanced son is on the verge of suicide and she's 5000 miles away.
I was awakened by the phone at midnight and sat with him for over an hour as he talked about how he had no reason to keep moving forward. I encouraged him to get some medical help right away. He reassured me that he was going to sleep first and would do that first thing in the morning. At 7am, my email inbox had a message that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
He's alone. He's suicidal and I can't do a thing about it from here.
Ask me again how I feel about this girl. Just to avoid misunderstandings again-- the girl may be fine, the girl + my son is not. My son + any girl when he's struggling with depression is a bad mix, but a young girl living out Romeo and Juliet fantasies is extremely dangerous.
I'm 5000 miles away. What do I do?
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scary people can go away now
