Dear Mrs. Chavez (not your real name because you had remarried, but I didn't know
what your name was changed to),
I am really sorry. Not only for breaking your son's heart more than once, but for breaking it once to date his brother who I soon tired of but then didn't want anyone else to have. Sorry.
Dear Mrs. Pat's Mom,
I'm sorry. Really, how was I to know that the boy I carried a torch for for so long would eventually reciprocate my feelings when I no longer had any for him?
Dear Mrs. A.,
Thank you for the warning! I married a wonderful man who doesn't drag me by my hair through parking lots when he's had something to drink.
Dear Rob's Mom,
I'm sorry, but your son was a psycho. HE'S the one that thought there were wedding bells in our future--I NEVER gave him any reason to believe that.
oh yes... there's more
Dear Mrs. B.,
I'm sorry. That ripping you heard was your son's heart, but what he never told you was how he convinced his best friend to keep me occupied one evening so that he wouldn't run into me when he took that trampy little thing out on a date (what was her name, Wednesday? Sunday?). When I found out, I thought it was only fair game to become crazy interested in the friend whose hands he placed me in.
Dear C's Mom,
I don't have to apologize to you, do I? I did the right thing and let him go, even though it crushed me. I hope it was the best thing and that he followed his dreams.
Dear Mrs. Hickham,
Really, truly, I am sorry. I had NO idea that he felt that way and if you think I was happy about losing such a good friend in the process you're wrong.
Dear Gary's Mom,
For crying out loud, he was my BOSS! I was polite and respectful, HE was the one who thought we had a chance.
Dear Hubby's Mom,
It must've been frightening watching this cradle robber swoop in on your precious little boy, but I think it's turned out pretty good, don't you? You got five grandkids out of the deal and we're on civil terms with one another, so you nearly got a daughter as well. Oh, and by the way, remember the very first words out of your mouth when he told you we were getting married?
I guess you got your answer--YES, I was apparently able to have children.
For every relationship we have ever encountered in our lives, I think some are not worth mentioning, while others are etched into our memory. Whichever it was, you know you are a blessed woman through all of that, cos' you had a happy ending...
ReplyDeleteI'm kinda speechless. All those boys. All those whack-jobs. And the MIL asking if you can have kids?! Dude. Just wow.
ReplyDelete*snort. Wednesday or Sunday? Those are always their names, aren't they? I really think you should not be allowed to date until you are 30 and you have a little sense....
ReplyDeleteGee, what would have happened if you could not have had children? Glad you found the right man...what is the old adage about frogs and kissing
ReplyDeleteWow - that is a lot of apologizing! To think you were such a heartbreaker!
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you ended up with the "good one!"
You know, come to think of it, I wouldn't have found my lovely wife had a girl in my past not cheated and dumped me, so sometimes it works out for the best, though it still hurts at the time.
ReplyDeleteIt never works out if it's not meant to be. Oh wait. Well, sometimes. But it's not supposed to. Aren't you glad you didn't really have to write all those?
ReplyDeleteFunniest ever! Good gravy, I don't even want to think of my list!
ReplyDeletehmmmm...thinking about myself and the apologzing that i perhaps might have to do to the "formers" mommy's---i actually was the one that got dumped more than the dumpee....kind of sad now that i think about it....and my MiL passed away before Mr. B and I even met.....sometimes it still makes me cry---we both think that she and I would have gotten along fantabulously.....so sad.
ReplyDeletep.s. what is your son's name so i can put him on the prayer roll when i go to the temple tomorrow :)
That last one??? Oh no she di'ent! That is ca-razy!!!
ReplyDeletePerhaps I should write my own apology letters. ;)
Oooo.... I'm a cradle robber too. I think we would be called Cougars now. HA! Stunning array of 'apology' letters
ReplyDeleteIt's letter writing time again, huh? I love it when you do this. :) And glad you found the right one.
ReplyDeleteWow! I'm impressed. My list would be very short, but then I married young. My husband, on the other hand, would have quite a list. Maybe I should ask him to write one like yours. ;)
ReplyDeleteI love this! Makes me think..
ReplyDeleteThis is very entertaining. Listing all the possible reasons of breakups, I can't help but identify which one was applicable to me. It was the letter for C's Mom. Haha :)
ReplyDeleteYou are so much nicer then me. I wouldn't apologize to any of the moms! LOL!
ReplyDelete