But today is not that day...
Miss Ky is tired. As a compromise to napping demands, I agree to let her lie in my bed. I figure I can get in a little reading.
"I need to use the toilet"
"Oh, really? Ok, need my help?"
"No, I do it myself"
I hear the toilet being used. Then quiet.
"Ky, what are you doing?"
"I havta wash my hands"
"Oh, ok, hurry up please" (because time with water is not good)
silence.
then the pitter patter of feet on carpet.
"Ky, what are you doing?"
"I havta get new underwearpants".
"Oh, ok. Can I help?"
"No, I do it myself".
Pitter patter back to the bathroom.
silence
pitter patter back out of the bathroom
silence.
whimper
"Ky?!"
"I can't do it!"
I find her standing in her room attempting to put a second shirt on.
It's funny, I laugh and help her.
Then I go into my bathroom....
and shouted at Miss KY to get into her bed, NOW.
My toothbrush, my sink, my carpet and my bath mat all have Desitin all over them. There are white Desitin footprints leading out of my bathroom.
One day I will laugh but right now, if someone doesn't come get this child....
That child makes me tired just reading about her. Doesn't she have one of those cribs with the tents on top that are really cages?
ReplyDeleteDo we have the same child?
ReplyDeleteSend her to a relative and come visit me for a while...I promise you lots of leisurely baths, with bubbles, scented candles, and noone to bother you. Oh yes, an endless supply of mimosas as well, along with your choice of music. You can stay in there all day if you would like.
ReplyDeleteI will also give you a bell, that you can ring, at your whim if you need anything else...a good book, a snack, whatever...
Hang in there sweetie!
p.s. I am doing a giveaway, starting today...give me a few moments to post... I think you should try for it...
ReplyDeleteAnd Desitin doesn't wash off easily! I'm sorry!! At least she is rash-proof.
ReplyDeleteOk so I know thats SO NOT FUNNY from a mother who has to clean it up point of view, but thanks for the laugh today atleast I know "Murphy" isnt only picking on me cause I'm an overtired, stressed out single momma. Soon the daddys will be home and we can sleep for a week ... (did ya laugh?)
ReplyDeleteOh my! Is this the same girl who always looks so darn angelic? I am sorry she caused such a mess!
ReplyDeleteI sure hope you'll laugh one day. At least there are many of us in cyberspace laughing, so that means something, right? Right?
ReplyDeleteHold on tight, J. But not so tight you leave fingerprints on her neck ...
i have days where i turn into one of my kids and start crying "what did i ever do to you?!" when one of them tells me after a day of mental torture that they "hate this family".
ReplyDeletesigh. my mother always said "this too shall pass"...but she was wrong about other shit too;)
hang in there...your kids sound awesome-ly full of gusto. that will benefit them as they get older! remember to find the positive...(yeah, @ times it is hard)
andy
I have totally had days like that! Hope it gets better... there's always tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteSomeday this story will be hilarious!
Oh, so funny, because it is not me this time. I am glad I am not the only one who lives life in a constant state of "AHHHHHH!" I found your blog from Straight to the heart. Thanks for the smiles and making me feel like I am not alone.
ReplyDeleteOooffff, Desitin ... ugh.
ReplyDeleteSorta laughing here, but not really. Been there.
Good grief.
ReplyDeleteShe is a pill!!! Your stories about her remind me so much of my daughter. Who would have thought the girl would be the hard one huh?
ReplyDeleteMmmm, desitin goes up one shelf higher. :-) Good luck.
ReplyDelete*mouth agape*
ReplyDeleteOh.My. Hang in here, I had one of those, too. Except he was my first and I didn't know it could be different.
Oh honey - this is soooo my child. Really, I think I have Miss Ky's lost twin over here. I keep telling myself it's a phase... I really hope it is!!! Deep breaths now...
ReplyDeleteHey there!
ReplyDeleteI feel for you-honestly! I am an AF wife with a husband TDY also. I am mothering five children while he builds sand castles at work ;)
I lived in Suffolk until almost two years ago-loved it! We have now crossed the Chunnel into Germany. I am finally loving it :)
Hang in there! I will check back....
yes, one day you will laugh -- but i've got to be with you and say that I'm pretty sure that if that had happened to me, I wouldn't be laughing for at least a week....and only after reading this post again :)
ReplyDeletesigh---the antics of the toddlers (and one of my HUGE pet peeves is a dirty b-room! and i live in a house of boys, and then me --- not the greatest of combinations.)
This will one day be a great story to tell when she starts dating. Then you will have that laugh.
ReplyDeleteIt never ceases to amaze me how stinkin' FAST they are...although it should. After so many years and so many messes, you'd think I'd get a little smarter. But I rarely am that.
ReplyDeleteWhen you're ready to laugh, let me know. I'm sure by then I'll have something to laugh at too (although it likely won't be as hard to get out of the carpet...we hope).
Oh no ... I have one of those! only his current chronic disasters involve emptying out his sock and udnerwear drawer and scattering them all over the bedroom ... or using lots and lots of handsoap on his face, arms, sink .... then getting upset because of course it gets in his eyes.
ReplyDeletesigh
Ack! That darn Destin. My little sister had a similar experience with her daughter, Paige.
ReplyDeleteSomeday you WILL laugh about it. Heck, if you'd taken pictures the rest of us would be laughing about it right now! I've managed a chuckle anyway because I have a good imagination.
It could be worse though, click this link if you want to read the worst kid + poop story ever (it happened to a friend of mine). http://heathershappeningspot.blogspot.com/2009/05/oh-crap-literally.html
She makes me giggle...sorry...I have one of those little ones running around daily and I thought I was the only one!:0)They keep us young..however the gray hair I don't like so much. Hugs...
ReplyDeleteWell shoot fire I didn't have to wait to laugh, I am , tee hee,
ReplyDeletewow. i have nothing but sympathy for you (and sighs of relief for me. i guess i've been quite lucky. which probably means she's saving it all for the teen years. joy, joy)
ReplyDeletenext time she says no help - just follow her in anyway!
ReplyDeleteSilver Lining. Do you want to make some good money on the side? You could have different companies pay you to use their products,er, i mean, to leave them innocently around your house until Ky gets to them. We all know that sooner or later she will.
ReplyDeleteBe well. Hang in there. Don't sweat the small stuff. I know that's cheesy and hard to hear, but I remember these days. When my kids were little their dad was never here. Worked out of town and all that. (I know, not the same.) And it was hard, my god, it was hard. But it will be ok. (I really am sending you good vibes. Wonder if they can travel that far?)
Oh, yikes! And that stuff really bleaches out anything it gets smeared on! My sympathies! When I brought my second baby home 30 years ago, my daughter who was 2 at the time went in to take a nap. When I went to check on her she'd gotten a hold of a jar of Vicks Vaporub and smeared it all over her pillow, the curtains, and her waist-length hair. THAT was a nightmare, too. It must've taken a week to finally shampoo it all out.
ReplyDeleteOh, and back when I was a young mom I was talking on the phone with a good friend. While she was distracted with me, her son got a bottle of Wesson Oil and managed to upend the whole thing on the kitchen floor and himself. KIDS!
ReplyDeleteIt's a good thing Ms Ky is too young to mess up with your blog. :)
ReplyDeletePatience is the keyword, I guess. :)
Oh dear, oh dear. That little gal is quite a handful, isn't she. I'm so glad my kids are 15 and 19, although there really are days I miss when they were toddlers, believe it or not. Hugs to you. Hang in there.
ReplyDeletePoor you. She's not the first and won't be the last to unceremoniously decorate your home this way. Forgive me, but I can't help thinking.. "Desitiny Rides Again." ;)
ReplyDeleteoy.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. That has got to be a pain to clean out of everything.
ReplyDeleteWhen my cousin was about Miss Ky's age, she emptied a HUGE container of baby powder all over my great-grandmother's bathroom. It was thick everywhere including herself.
Did your boys do things like this too, or has it just been Miss Ky to get into everything? =)
Ah, so funny. I'm sorry I'm laughing. Hope today's a better day.
ReplyDeleteOMG! And that stuff is the devil to get out of ANYTHING! But, I have to admit to giggling, only because I've been there, done that.
ReplyDeleteIt ALMOST makes me wish my own kids were still little & living at home. Kids make such perfect Blog Fodder, don't they? They are much less entertaining when they grow up...
The one AND ONLY time I left the Destin to close to my son's crib he smeared it all over his face and hair etc. I heard him talking to himself so I went in to get him and here was this little ghostie child with HUGE blue eyes blinking at me! When we put him in the bathtub the water just repelled right off him. Should have called Destin and told them I had a testimonial for how well their product worked.
ReplyDeleteWhen children are quiet - and DON'T want your help - there's trouble. Mine is always doing that, the second she is quiet and in her room I run in there expecting the worst: black playdoh digging into the carpet, the infamous baby powder disaster (mixed with creams into the carpet), vaseline play, and creams all over herself and her baby play.
ReplyDeleteIt all happened. Because she was too quiet. AAH.
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