If you buy the wife a new pair of black boots,
she's going to need some skinny jeans to go with them.
If you buy her skinny jeans,
she will realize that her green tatty coat is looking even more tatty now,
so,
you will need to take her out to buy a new black coat.
The new black coat against her snow-white hair will remind her that she needs a trim,
so,
she will pay someone to style her hair.
With newly styled hair, the over-grown brows will need re-shaping.
As she leaves the hairdresser,
the red patches above her eyes will remind her that if she had been able to see clearly,
she may have kept up with her brows on her own...
You make her an appointment with your own eye doctor,
who feels that 9 years is a little long to have gone without glasses,
so,
he'll write her a new prescription.
When she has a new prescription, she will need to find frames that are hip and cheeky...
and if her new hip and cheeky glasses are green,
she's going to need new pair of green boots to go with them.
Now aren't you glad that I decided NOT to buy the black boots--despite how you nagged me because I always back out of purchases like that at the last minute? Sleep well, Hubby. Your money is safe with me...
You are such a good care-taker of the money! :)
ReplyDeleteIsn't it funny that moms will wear stuff and only notice that the other clothes are old and worn when compared to one new thing?
ReplyDeleteWe'd never let our kids get that ratty!
Hahahah! My new favorite book is "If you buy the wife a..." :)
ReplyDeleteNow go back and buy those boots. And jeans. And jacket. And haircut...
So it comes full circle and boots are always to blame.
ReplyDeleteGood thing we like boots A LOT.
Idk, I think the boots are worth the risk. They're always worth the risk.
ReplyDeleteWell dang. I think you need to go through with this. At least the eye doc. Then go to zennioptical.com and get yourself some hip new glasses, cheap. It's my favorite place to blow 20 bucks.
ReplyDeleteWhew! Sounds like the Hubs dodged a bullet there!
ReplyDeleteHahaha Love it! Sure beats that mouse and his cookie. ;)
ReplyDeleteI hope he knows how lucky he is!
ReplyDeleteI probably would have went for it.
ReplyDeleteYou are so very, very clever!!! Love this post. Your hubby should be so proud of your willpower. I say, go get the black boots, and the green boots and throw in some red ones while you're at it!
ReplyDeleteThere is no arguing with your logic. Can't say you didn't warn him.
ReplyDeleteHA HA! It all makes perfect sense to me! Maybe you should get a pair of black boots AND a pair of green boots. :D
ReplyDeleteThat was pretty cute!
ReplyDeleteLOL!! Goofball!
ReplyDeleteha ha. i used to be like you. I am becoming more like the wife in the story. Only that I buy everything on sale and with a coupon.
ReplyDeleteBTW i finally caved. I'm reading Twilight. Only 2 chapters in. I'll let you know what I think.
If you keep it long enough it comes back into fashion!
ReplyDelete