Waterlogged

Leave it to me to be the wet blanket on the day before the night before Christmas...

Rain came one night and took most of my white Christmas away. I love rain, but that night I stood at the window and cried.

It's probably not the rain.
It's not hormones either... at least I don't think it is,
but there's a sadness I can't shake.

It could be that I was burned out the last two months by the demands made on me at church.
Can I just say, if you think someone is not doing what you would do in a job or church calling, that you offer to do it for him/her for a month instead of calling to give her your "advice"? I gave up a lot of my Christmas preparation time, children time, and certainly husband time to meet others needs and in return I was chastised for not doing more. By people who have been doing nothing. Doesn't help my struggles with feeling charitable at the moment.

It could be that I desperately miss our Christmas Cantata that we participated in every year. I miss doing my soprano descants. I miss our choir director looking like he would burst with pride when we got something right.

It could be that this year there will be no 3-day New Year's Risk game with the oldest son--oh! that could be it because I just sprung a leak.

It's a good year for him not to be here.
With the snow, ice and wind, our airports, trains and busses have been crippled-- he would have been stranded.



So the game sits in the closet.
With all of the others.
At least they'll stay dry.

Luckily for me, instead of journaling, I photograph. As I was telling my mother that I have let my family down and haven't been able to capture the magic this year, I realized I hadn't emailed pictures in a while. So I compiled a photostory of the last month...



The kids at the Norwich Football Party where they met and chatted with the first team (and one day I will look back and laugh at the moment my child had me wishing the ground would swallow me whole-- a first for me-- but right now I'm still not laughing).


A2's Christmas Nativity.


He giggled through the last song as he and his friend kept elbowing each other.
He told me later it was because the kid had given him a wedgy.
I missed that part.

There's the Thursford Christmas Spectacular we drove forever to get to...

and drove "forever" back home not speaking to each other.
It looked like we were having fun anyway.


Our annual Christmas Sugar Cookie day...

with Miss Ky as the resident artist and crafty girl that somehow managed to get a bottle of my sprinkles NOT intended for the Christmas cookies... "I'll have a (Red White and) Blue Christmas..."

In my mother's eyes,who is not decorating or celebrating after paying a 3 grand vet bill, it looks like we're having the time of our lives.

Maybe it's like that theory, "smile until you feel it"?
Shoot photos of everything until you believe you're doing something right...or at least so your kids will look back and think you did.