Remember before we came here, the lines and lines of people waiting for different attributes to bring along with them?
Remember how you wanted to stand in the pink, girly queue and I scoffed at you and then skipped merrily over to where all the cute guys were standing?
Joke was on me, wasn't it? I never stood a chance at that testosterone stall and have suffered the neanderthal look because of it.
But you were a true friend... you created products that could hide my unwanted masculinity and I have happily handed my money over to your company since.
However, I am having a little bit of a problem with the wax removal strips.
It's ok that I have paid you the equivalent of one child's college fund (be forewarned mini-people living in my house, one of you is out of an education), it's only money, right?
It's ok that I scream in pain with every beautifying rip now that you've stopped including the little bottle of "NumbYoFace" in my treasure box of smoothness.
What is NOT ok is that you've also removed the little bottle that takes the remaining wax off of my chin.
Do you know anyone needing a female Santa Claus?
Because that's what I look like with half of my towel stuck to my chin and upper lip.
Why am I paying more but getting less? Is that how you treat your loyal friends?
Please respond soon or I may have to make a date with some thread...
Addendum: This post was typed in the morning. Imagine my consternation when I made a mad dash to the toilet at 10 pm (during another viewing of New Moon) and the face staring back at me in the mirror had a huge red square spot right across her chin. Sally, don't even bother responding...
I am posh/class personified, don't you think?
Oh dear. The agony we go through in our efforts to be beautiful. HA! :)
ReplyDeleteRepeat after me...wax is not your friend...but your beautician on the other hand! She is your friend, and even though it may cost 18 buck a month I go to Miranda and let her work her magic on my werewolf brows and my suddenly sprouting chin...worth every plug nickle of it, too!
ReplyDeletehugs
Sandi
I use the Sally Hansen that comes with a bottle of oil to soothe your fat lips after the said *ripping*. It's cheap & it works okay.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I foresee shaving in my near future and I think I'd rather die...
Woah! For the first time I'm so glad my brows are too thin to bother waxing. Just think, it could be worse. One word. Brazilian.
ReplyDeleteGAH
ReplyDeleteFire Sally and blow the $7 on a salon esthetician. It's quick, easy, painless and the red goes away faster.
ReplyDeleteLOL, you crack me up.