Insanity 101

Welcome to Inadequate Parenting 101.

In this class you will learn how to appear as if you're supervising and or parenting your children. The skills acquired during this course should enable you to successfully fly under the wire for local child protective services without the effort involved for real and diligent parenting.
The class has been broken down into 7 weeks.

Week 1: How look as if you're following your child's soccer game while texting or twittering with your blog friends. We will be covering believable facial expressions and appropriate pauses between "oohs and ahhs".

Week 2: How to make school uniforms appear as if they were washed over the weekend when they're discovered at the bottom of the laundry hamper 15 minutes before school begins.

Week 3: Preparing a round meal when there are only 25 minutes of home time per day. Frozen pizza is round, bowls of cereal are round etc...

Week 4: How to appear as if you really want their friends over and yet manage to avoid extra muddy footprints. We will practice calling the parents of child and extending invitations with heartfelt apologies for the severe bout of mono currently in the home, or asking if they mind if the kids play nekked outside to keep mud off of the carpets when they come in.

Week 5: How to drive without the radio to provide a good study environment

Week 6: Learn acceptable school absence excuses for the days when you really don't want to get out of bed and how to space them so as not to alert truancy officers.

Week 7: Stocking the refrigerator with easily prepared foods (that a toddler can manage) so meal times will not interfere with blogging.

Supplies required for this class: apathy, pencils and paper.
(The instructor has not been designated at this time because there are so many to choose from this semester).

This Monday Mission post has been brought to you by Painted Maypole. This week's mission is write your post in the form of a class description. Click on over and check it out (and say a prayer, she's gearing up for Ike now).