July 1st

The beginning of the end.

The end of sleeping diagonally in the bed-- oh, who am I kidding, with two children in my bed, I have NOT had it to myself enough days to sleep diagonally.

The end of worry-free towel use (the purple towel is MINE).

The end of chick flicks available at all times (*sniff* bye bye Mr. Darcy)

The end of eating what I want when I want--again, who am I kidding? I've taken to eating in the pantry just to keep the vultures away (what ten extra pounds? I don't know what you're referring to!).

The end of being the ONLY one who seems to notice when there's a used diaper on the floor...

...of being the only one who recognizes when milk jugs bounce around your feet, the recycling might need to go out.

...of cooking only to be met with "I don't like that".

The end of dragging every child everywhere.

The end of left overs going uneaten.

The end of running out of milk so often, requiring me to drag every child everywhere at hours not conducive to good sleeping habits.

The end of being the only one to lock up at night-- there are so many stinking doors and windows in this house!

...of being the only one who speaks in multiple syllables.

...of trying to video or photograph historic children events with a mini human climbing up my leg.

The end of easy laundry... visions of uniforms with specific washing instructions are dancing in my head.

The end of some very long, soul-searching months.

I love July.

I love that when it's over, the Sexy guy will be back...

which will mean the end


for some unwelcome (squeaky) guests...

Mouse hunt anyone?

Fun Beckons

2005,
we packed our kids and an exchange student and headed to Disney World.

Yes, A2 IS wearing his pajamas, we started driving in the middle of the night to get to our plane.

and

at the risk of losing everyone to a cliche,

it was magical.

Oh, there were not-so-magical moments--





The exchange student's 8-day ticket disappeared from our room;

I lost my memory stick;

the hurricanes skirting Florida pelted us with downpours for a very wet, first Dumbo ride
click on the picture if you don't believe me






and my Hubby spent most of our trip trying to sort out meeting times with his Dad. His cellphone became permanently fixed to his ear (and my scowl lines grew deeper).

But I have so many more fond memories--

Like seeing this little guy have the time of his life... up to the point where we broke him.
(we walked so far the first 2 days that for the rest of the trip we had to pose him with characters since he couldn't unbend his legs... and yes, we finally decided that a stroller would be a good idea)

This is all going to be used against me in court, isn't it?



And eating the best food I have ever
over-consumed
at Boma's while laughing at J1's excitement
over the dessert (Him: "Mom! You have to try these, it's like putting a jelly fish in your mouth!"
Me: "uh..., yum?").

No matter how hard you look,

you will not see J1 in this photo.

He ate TOO many desserts

and was being sick in the bathroom.

Oh, and watching my kids smile and laugh uninhibitedly, with no schedules or obligations
for any of us.















Seeing the admiration (ok, it was more like hero-worship) of my three boys
who had no idea that their Mom was the reigning champion of Galaga in her youth
(Hubby says I smashed the record at Pizza Planet, but I don't remember details. I only remember wishing I'd just get killed off because my old lady hands were hurting).

sigh. Good times.

We were planning our next trip before we even boarded the plane for home.

That trip is now, we've started the 60-day countdown...

It's a small world after all,
anyone planning a road trip that wants to meet me at the castle?

Just When I'm Berating Myself For Wasting Time...

... I read a post somewhere that kick starts my memory, creativity
or touches me in a way that reminds me why we're all out here.

One of the recent "Oh, I'm so glad I read this!" posts was over at (surprise) (again) Woman in a Window' s place, with Reverential Dwarf.

It gave me reason to reflect on the people who have passed through my life, maybe just briefly, but who really need to be credited with a little of what makes me, me.

The most predominate memory for me today is of the woman who would let me sit at the bar in that small desert town that was baking in the sun (before laws said 6 year-old children couldn't sit at the bar) eating her maraschino cherries (regardless of the formaldehyde stories attached to their sticky wonderfulness) while my dad drank icy cold Budweiser from a can.

The inside of her home was orange. The brightest orange walls you ever saw and I was enraptured by the boldness. I had never seen such a color anywhere other than in an LA diner where we quickly inhaled our greasy eggs and bacon before retrieving my runaway sister from the juvey detention center. I use bold colors on my walls now.

My first spanish words were spoken in her home. "Uno Blanco Lobo" was her dog's name (and I'm pretty sure the adjective was in the wrong place, but who am I to say what someone names their dog?).
Her name was Neva and she made up one part of the timeline that was my childhood-- her children made up many more (it was her son, Larry who crushed the Christmas "Jolly Elf" myth and ruined the surprise of a bicycle waiting under the tree).

It's like that Orange commercial...

oh, go ahead, watch it and then tell me...



...who from your past or present popped into your mind?

Share,

you know you want to.

Just Say It

Ok look. At the risk of sounding like Sad Sack, I'm just going to say it.
I am not a big pity party waiting for a place to happen.
I actually pride myself on being pretty good at keeping it fun and light (be quiet husband), but for some reason
again,
I was hugely rejected.

It happened yesterday and here we are 24 hours later and I still can't shake it.
The poor Hubby had to talk me down from the ledge on a dodgy ichat connection at 1 am.


At a recent school gathering, the subject of New Moon came up-- with smiles and laughter--
from the woman I had to beg to read Twilight. I actually bought TWO copies of the book and passed both out among a particular group of friends to convince them to read it. They all loved it. She told me she was counting down to the movie-- she was going to see it in London.

Silly Me: "Oh! I want to go!!" (That brash American trait where I will invite myself when it includes Twilight)

Thoughtless Her: "Oh, I'm sorry, you can't, it's a private party". (laughter, smile smile)

Silly Me thinking she was being hilarious, or maybe a little serious because she had this special "date" booked with her teen daughter: I'm the one who convinced you to read it and your snubbing me! (Ha, ha, I am so funny)

Unkind Her: "Well we have had this group lined up for ages!" (smile laugh smile --Oh, did i just hurt your feelings? Never mind, the sun is shining, smile smile)

Me: "Oh. I. see."

I began to excuse myself to go get refreshments for my boys. She sort of caught on that maybe what she had just done was a little tactless and began saying, "Well, you can come on then if you really want to come".

Not feeling quite so silly now Me: "No, really-- thank you. I had actually considered flying to the states to see it with friends before I found out it was being released here on the same day "(real friends, I'm thinking, and no, I didn't coat it with sarcasm).

So, I'm hurt.
Am I over sensitive?
I saw this as an "in your face, you don't really matter to us" incident.

I have some good people who have done some wonderful, thoughtful things for my family, so why am I dwelling on this?

Do you suppose I'm just suffering post-cookie-baking-in-the-middle-of-the-night disorder?

Can You Help Me With Some Math?

It's algebra I think...

(Hypothetically)

If one were to make several dozen chocolate-peanut butter cookies at 2 am,

requiring one to taste the

cookie dough repeatedly,

and sample each

batch for quality control...


and if that tortured individual washed

the sticky sweetness down with 2 cups of milk,

how many crunches would it take to cancel out those calories?



And

could those crunches be done the next day?

Because like I said, this (hypothetical) situation would have occurred at 2 am.



Did I mention that the same week J1 was supposed to have his tux, there was a special outdoor door lunch for the kids one day, another outdoor lunch being hosted by the class of the 6 year-old (requiring food and raffle donations) and a disco?

I need a nap.

Quiet House = Miss Ky is Up To Something

It's a half an hour after bedtime.

The kids are all bathed and even though I know there is still stirring, it's my time.

MY time.

Then I hear it. The rustling of a little mouse somewhere she shouldn't be, I'm sure.

"Am I white?"

Me: "Huh?"

and I turn to see....







My once clean, fresh smelling little girl is now nice and sun blocked for bed.

You are my witnesses. This girl owes me big time when I've gone senile.

It's Terrible Living in England...

...but somebody has to, right?










This goes along with the slogan, "Don't hate me because... (I live a GORGEOUS country)".

Dad Interrupted

Hubby,

Because you take the boys to football

and kick a few around in the garden when you can;

2007

Because you ask for days off
for things like

school coffee mornings,

kid productions

and award ceremonies;

Because you have MORE than done your share of midnight pacing,

diaper changes

and catching regurgitated hotdogs in your hands at the theater;

Because you have often used your shirt
when there were no tissues around;

2004

Because you swell with pride when you talk about your boys;

2004

and get soft and mushy
when you talk about your girl...

2006

You are missed.

You are a great Dad and your kids
don't take that for granted...

even when you're gone


and your Dad duties are interrupted
by your devotion to your country.




We love you! Happy Father's Day.

pre-Miss Ky photo 2005

Can I Have Another Letter, Vanna?

Dear Production Organizers,

You could possibly be panicking over the fact that you didn't choose a script for this years' production until well past the usual rehearsal time.
You could possibly be under enormous pressure from the school officials to get everything together quickly to be prepared to go on stage on the calendared night.
However, you cannot be serious sending home a fact sheet of expected costumes with all parts listed except my sons (and then expecting an 11 year-old to relay the correct information of what he should have to me).

Did you really want him to provide a white tuxedo?! And a top hat? Did I mention that he is 11?

Well I did a quick look on eBay uk, but then he said he could wear a regular suit coat AND that if I "got (him) a black suit, (he) could also use it for church". So I begin perusing the Sears and JCPenney sites for cheaper suit coats for this child that will outgrow it before the summer has passed when he informs me, "I need to have it by Wednesday."

Stunned silence.

Even if I could sew, I couldn't possibly sew a tuxedo for a kid from Thursday night to Tuesday night-- not with football, cricket, swim and church activities. I'm also at a time loss for ordering from the states (even eBay uk can't help me with that short amount of time).

I'm experiencing repressed anger over the countless other costumes I have been expected to come up with with just a few days' notice, the most recent being a Roman soldier with armor. Maybe you're uber crafty with a roll of foil, but I certainly am not.

I am tired of paying high dollar out of my kids' college funds because you have organizational issues. You want a white tuxedo for a pre-pubescent boy, you order one. Get back with me by tuesday so we can be sure it fits please. Oh, and don't forget the top hat.



Addendum: The same child just used my blue linen dinner napkins to clean the bathroom sink with bleach. Forget the costume, you can just have the kid.

Wordless Wednesday OR Five Minutes Unsupervised

My Life is a Poorly Edited Cartoon

"Wah wah wahwah wah wah", says the Charlie Brown's teacher voice...

...as the ball is bounced off of the dining room wall nearly crashing into my china hutch.

"Wah wah wahwah wah wahwahwahwah", she says to the child holding the refrigerator opened for the 5th time in 20 minutes.

My boys must speak another language. I can't quite understand why I must repeat things like, "No food in your bedrooms", "Flush the stinking toilet!" and "What on earth possessed you...".



My walls seemed to vibrate as they do when a sonic boom occurs near your home.

It happened again.

"This can't be good", I thought.
I headed down the stairs cringing.

If I busted them kicking a soccer ball in the living room, it was over. They had been warned: all balls would be GONE from the house if I caught them kicking one inside (they are already moved into "lock down" where a kid has to request it and return it to me for each playing session now). I feared for them. I feared for their football careers that are going to see me into my old age.

BOOM

I slipped into the dining area where I can see the living room through glass doors. And waited.
That's when I heard them sing jointly, "One, two, three!" as I watched J2 THROW his body into the sliding glass door. BOOM!

I thought I was going to have to kill him. Kill him because "what on Earth would possess (a boy) to throw (himself) into sheets of glass?!"

They all stared at me as I shouted in my loudest "You could've really hurt yourself" voice.

"They heard, "Wahwah WAH wahwahwah!!"

Maybe I could get an interpreter or at least, some subtitles.

Tap Tap Tap...

Is this thing on?

Anyone out here? I have an announcement, where is everyone?

Oh. Asleep. I see. Well I'll just leave a this little note here and you all let me know when you're up, ok?

We have a winner for the Twilight package!!!


And that winner is.....





ANGLOPHILE FOOTBALL FANATIC
(who came out of blog retirement just to play).












As happy as I was for J2 to draw her name, I was bothered that there weren't more winners.
SO, we drew a runner up and that is......









Sass-E-Mum!! Yea!!



Um, wait a minute. She lives over here with me, so UK versions of things aren't that thrilling for her I'm sure, but the kids and I came up with the perfect American package to send. Get me your post address, will you Sass-E-Mum? (you have my email) ;-)



I was still feeling bothered that more couldn't win so Miss Ky drew one more name...





Mikki!! Yea Mikki!!












Thank you everyone for playing. I do feel bad that more couldn't win, especially after such great reasons were given for me coming to watch New Moon with you, but this wasn't the first giveaway and it won't be the last.

Thanks for sharing my day with me and I'll keep you posted for when I choose my New Moon viewing destination!!

*sorry for posting this twice, I had to remove my kids' school names from their jumpers!

An Early Education

WARNING

If you are sensitive to the posts referring to body parts, you may want to skip this post.

How could I not share a recent conversation had in my car?

Miss Ky from her car seat in the back: "I don't have a willy Mom."

I wince. I hate that word. It's the word my kids learned on the playground for a body part that I don't feel we need to nickname. I've always been very open with my kids when they ask, and believe me, I never told them the word "willy". In fact, that word really messes with my saying, "You're a silly willy". Whole. new. context.

Me: "No, sweetie, you don't"

Her: "I have a ba-jI-na"

Oh dear. Someone's been building his sister's vocabulary.

Remember When?

Remember when I thought it was important enough to send you to the movie rental place...
back in February 2008?
I really thought Amazing Grace was a movie that shouldn't be missed.
So, if you take into account that I shout out movies rarely and only if I am really impressed (Twilight doesn't count, it is not a movie it is a phenomenon), pay attention:

You must see the new Disney Pixar movie "Up".
Maybe you live in a country where they have bombarded you with advertising and trailers that make you feel like you've
already seen the whole movie in 2 minute increments, but I don't so I went in with NO expectations and came out wishing I could get back in line. I did it for the kids, but was thrilled with the entertainment it gave me. LOVED this movie. Photo taken directly from the Disney Pixar website with the intention of drawing masses to their film.I hope they take that into account when they sue me for copyright violation.



The next movie may be harder for you to find,
but if you have kids (mine were ages 9 and 10), teens or anyone involved in sports, you should make the effort. My kids loved it. It is an earnest, wholesome movie with a great message.







Another bonus:






If you happen to be a Desperate Housewives viewer,
you'll be glad to know that you have the opportunity to hate Dave Dash (alias: Williams) for another hour and a half. Not dishing the actor Neal McDonough, just saying he is excellent at playing intense, complicated men.



Now,
be off with ye. Go laze around in a cool theater or in front of
your own T.V. with some popcorn.

A Breathless Message

Sorry I'm late!
I am only here for a minute-- in between kids swim lessons, attending birthday parties and now an evening at the cinema, but I did promise to post a picture of my box.

After Lisa's it does seem rather pathetic, but please know I meant well.

Your very own UK editions of New Moon and the (Unofficial) Twilight Companion, Twilight Forbidden Fruits Sweethearts and more fruit-- a Lemonade body scrub.

What box coming from the UK would be complete without a real pudding? You pop it in the microwave an enjoy... while you're in the bath scrubbing your body and reading New Moon...with a cup of Cadbury chocolate. Like I said, it all seemed so great until I combined it for a photo-- just roll with me, ok?

And IF you like chocolate, you will need to tell me: DARK OR MILK and I will send you one of these. If you live in Texas, it may show up to your house as a chocolate puddle in a baggie, but I can't help that now can I?

The drawing will take place on Wednesday, 8.00am MY time (there's a clock on my side bar, but pretty much figure if you're in the States, make sure you're entered by midnight Tuesday night, if you're elsewhere, look at my sidebar).
It's my way of celebrating the 45th anniversary of the birth of my mother's last child. The big FOUR FIVE. The day I was supposed to be walking the streets of Pompeii until the Air Force decided the Hubby needed to hang out at Abraham's birthplace instead. again.

Can't remember what this drawing is all about? Go here. Haven't entered? Convince me why I should travel all the way across the ocean in November to see the premiere of New Moon with you (either here or on the original post).

I'm off now! Places to go and go and go and go.....

I'm as Happy as a...

... you fill in the blank, all I could come up with was "pig in slop" but it wasn't very original and completely out of harmony with the mood.

Nothing makes me happier than getting mail (except maybe for getting comments. and email. and visits from people I like. and kids flushing the toilet. and toddlers NOT spilling liquid soap all over carpeted bathrooms...),

so imagine how happy I was when THIS came in my post office box!

When I get good mail like this, I like to savour it... and take pictures of it, so this box had to sit in my house nearly 24 hours before I could get to it without fighting off little hands.

In my excitement I opened it upside down and then realized that Lisa from Is That a Garage Door on My Ceiling? had taken care to pack everything all carefully so I had to flip the box to begin properly.

There was a sweet card from her that nearly made me teary eyed...

...then I opened the second card and really did have to catch myself.

Holy smokes Batman, will you look at the loot?

Lisa, you may have just saved my husband's mind. You see, when I get stressed or discouraged, I pick up the mouse and shop. Ebay is my best deployment friend and several times the Hubby has had to tell me to "...step away from the bidding box, dear". NOW I can shop guilt free!!

Chocolate is a mood enhancer, I could've stopped the spending spree with this part of the package alone.

The grand package included a hand crafted leather journal (lovely), and special pen (also hand crafted from authentic Bethlehem Olivewood), a beautiful book hook (to go with my purchases from Barnes and Noble and Amazon!)... I'm getting carpel tunnel here...you can see the list on her 100th Post Giveaway where she describes it all so wonderfully. She made me work for it. I had to think and answer questions somewhat coherently. When asked to fill in the blanks of this sentence: "If _________ fell on the floor at the _________ for longer than 20 seconds, I would totally pick it up and still eat it."

I responded: "If ANY form of chocolate fell on the floor at the tube station for longer than 20 seconds (and my life was only marginally in danger from fast moving trains) I would totally pick it up and still eat it. If it wasn't mine to begin with, I'd be a lot faster than 20 seconds and someone might go onto the track in the process."

When I went to gather the tissue paper up, I realized that I had missed something...

Isn't this cute? She even wrapped each of these little magnets up and put them in the pretty little bag. I am placing these on my refrigerator so people wil thank im smart.

At the very bottom of the box were three bags of fun for my boys.
All kinds of little things that would thrill any boy to death (whoopie cushions and sweets).

Lisa, you are amazing, but I have to be honest... see these?

The kids are NOT getting them all.

THAT is the candy I beg people to bring when they come visit and NO ONE has ever been able to find them (I'm related to a lot of backwoods folk that don't understand that there are stores to shop in other than WallyWorld).

So there, I said it. I will steal from my kids.

Now a perfect ending to this post would be me showing you what some lucky commenter will win from my Please-Convince-Me-To-Come-To-Your-Town-To-Watch-
New-Moon Giveaway(which is still open for latecomers), but I am intelligent enough not to even try to entice you with my silly little box after showing you this one.

So,

Lisa, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Thank you not only for this amazing box but for the package you're so willing to ship at a later date and for your friendship.

And the rest of you...

come back tomorrow to see what has ended up in my give away box, but for today, you can drop hints about what you'd like to be in there...

Maybe You Just Need a Smile