I take my dreams very seriously. Well, not the silly ones where I go to school on the day of finals and I suddenly remember the math class I've forgotten to attend all semester.
I pay attention to the ones that seem real.
Last night I dreamed I stopped by my old landlord's place. His father died earlier in the week (in real life) and I wanted to see if there was anything I could help with. He's always upgrading his house, and there were signs of recent construction everywhere. I set to work cleaning the drywall dust off his cabinets (no wonder I'm always tired, I even clean in my sleep).
While I wiped, he opened up and talked about his dad. Eventually his wife came in, and then his daughter and her kids.
That's when I remembered that I had brought my two youngest with me and had left them both been in the car, since I was only stopping to give my condolences. In the car, the whole time I had been there.
In the dream, I ran screaming towards my car (slow motion running) telling myself all the way that there was no way they were still alive. It was a hot day.
For a moment, I had a glimpse of what the "innocent" people must go through. I'm not talking about the morons who need to be eliminated from the gene pool-- those people who leave their kids in the car while they attend a party, I'm talking about the Dad who offers to take the baby to the day care and since it's not his normal routine, forgets. Statistics show that deaths increased when it became mandatory to face the seats to the rear, babies not seen are forgotten.
Last night made me realize how easily that could happen in our chaotic schedule.
There are folks trying to come up with a solution.
Kids and Cars is urging a system that would sound some kind of alarm, Audi and Mercedes-Benz have incorporated a ventilation cooling system for their top-of-the-line cars (although some experts argue that parents would feel that with such a device, they would think it was ok to leave the kids in the car).
The Baby Safety line seems to have something with a device that looks like a long phone cord (remember the kind you would rap around your finger as your best friend spilled the latest gossip?). It connects your keys to your baby's seat, and when you leave the car, you remove it from your keys and snap it to the car's dashboard. It's a reminder that you have company.

The idea that I thought our family could utilize regularly is the Teddy Bear/doll routine.
Each car carries a bear or large doll in the car seat. When the baby is placed in the seat, the doll moves up to the passenger seat. After the baby is removed from the car, the doll is replaced. A front seat reminder is better than a quiet, sleeping, rear-facing baby.
It's a solution everyone can afford. I don't see us owing a Mercedes-Benz in this lifetime, but we do have a few Teddy Bears hanging around the house.
What safety measures have you incorporated into your life for your children? Do you have talking fire detectors that alert the children of danger in your own voice? Do you have a car seat system?

I'm wondering how hard it would be to place weight sensors in the back seats. If weight is added and a seat belt is fastened it would register this in an internal computer. When the car stops and the door opens, one of those many bells would go off remind you that there's something weighty strapped into the back. You know the type - they remind us that the lights are on or the keys are still in the ignition. It wouldn't be that far of a stretch.
ReplyDeleteCheck out the followings websites: www.forgetmenotusa.com for two products that are affordable for everyone. Also take a look at www.carseatmonitor.com and
ReplyDeletewww.2sav1.com. All of these products are affordable and can help put your mind at ease that you are doing everything you can to prevent this happening to your family. All of these websites are hosted by people whose only agenda is to save lives.
I can't for the life of me think how any one can forget they had a child in a car. Seems weird to me. Over here it is dogs that get left in cars.
ReplyDeleteWith only two kids I have never left one behind, that's horrible but can imagine with a bunch of them it can happen. What a good idea to keep kids safe.
ReplyDeleteI like your teddy bear idea. Amazingly enough, scatter brained as I am, I've never left the kids in the car unintentionally. Little cats? Whole 'nother story.
ReplyDeleteThats always been a huge fear of mine!
ReplyDeleteI know how easy it can be to forget a quiet sleeping baby. Last month when we were practicing our monthly fire drill we got outside and I realized that I forgot the sleeping baby in the playpen when we got out there. Thank God it was just a drill!
I too have a hard time understanding HOW it can happen. But then, I do remember how foggy the brain can become the first few weeks you have a newborn in your home and your running on little to no sleep. I'm sure there are a myriad of other instances too, like the dad who doesn't usually drop the kids off, or if they're not your own children. I've been watching a little boy for a friend a few times a week, and I have forgotten to retrieve him from the playground at school when we walk the girls over in the mornings. Thank goodness, he paid attention and followed me!
ReplyDeleteI like the stuffed bear idea.
My babes are all older now (the youngest is two), but I never had this happen to me. I happens a lot here in TX.
ReplyDeleteIt's a tragedy. A young police officer left his baby in the car last summer.
Heartbreaking.
I think the teddy bear is a simple, wise idea.
It was good to see you at my place again! I hope your family is well soon!
ReplyDeleteglad I never had that dream.
ReplyDeleteglad my kids get themselves in and out of the car on their own.
glad others are way more clever than me so they can solve this problem.
The Math dream? Yikes I just had that one this past week!!!
ReplyDeleteAs for forgetting babies in the car . . . with three in 17 months (twins'll do that to you) I never forgot anyone. Two more came along and there were plenty of "monitors." Plus, my kids are vociferous genetically so it's pretty hard to forget they are there (though on occasion I tried to ignore them). Scary, scary thought, but my bubby said he could see how an overworked exec with a long commute and a sleeping baby could forget (he balances out my lopsided shock and horror at the thought that this could even occur -- God knew I needed him).
p.s.
Your thoughtful post caused me to pause and pray for anyone that may have experienced this terrible tragedy.
There was a hot discussion about this a few weeks ago on the Gene Weingarten of the Washington Post chat. Because it does happen to exhausted, tired, doing something out of the normal routine parents, even though everyone thinks it could never happen to them.
ReplyDeleteYOu might have a good idea there... a visible 'reminder' for those who don't usually travel with baby in the mornings
Mine are long past the car seat stage (I worry about them being behind the steering wheel these days!). I'm all for ideas that can help busy frazzled parents keep their kids safe, though. Raising children these days is a tough job.
ReplyDeletewow, i have that school dream too, or the one where they come take my college diploma because I am missing some class that Inever heard of. forgetting a baby? Now that I'm getting demented it's possible. I would have a STROKE!
ReplyDeleteI was lucky my car seat was in back but it faced the regular way and you could see the midget in the rear view mirror. You know I don't get why they make them face backwards, how many babies do you think get car sick and barf riding like that?
ummm thought I was the only one with the school dreams. I can't find my retainer and my mom is gonna kill me, in some others. Then there are the ons where your teeth are falling out, or your butt naked in a puplic place.....
have those too?
i think the teddy bear is a great idea. my husbands cousin actually did have that happen to her. she had gone to a church meeting and forgot that she had taken the baby with her. she came back to a barely a live baby and she did have to go to court and friends and family had to testify to her mother-worthiness...thankfully the baby is just fine now (i think she's 2 or so) and mom is ok---but that really sure does awaken your senses --teddy bears are affordable!
ReplyDeleteI've never actually dreamed this, but I have day-mares occasionally about something like this happening. The part that gets me is imagining my baby crying for me and wondering where I am and what's going on. Heartbreaking.
ReplyDeleteThe teddy bear idea is great. Really great.
I am so glad that was just a dream. Great idea about the bear. I feel so bad for those parents and children that have the bad dream a reality.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that was just a dream. Great idea about the bear. I feel so bad for those parents and children that have the bad dream a reality.
ReplyDeleteI haven't dreamed this one either. My latest is I just don't have it in me to chase the girl in her car and she rolls right into the road and gets smacked by a car and laughs about it.
ReplyDeleteI can sometimes see how that could happen. I think there was just an article in people about a mom who did it.
seriously, this just seemed so strange to me! forgetting your mobile phone is normal, but forgetting your own flesh and blood? that's unimaginable?! how could that be...not doubting you of cos, I've seen news report on this all the time...
ReplyDeletebut for Singapore, no such cases yet (I hope never)
but if I MUST, then I'll put a sign on my car handle, so that before I open my car door to step out, I'll be able to read the big glow-in-the-dark words "Mommy, Don't leave me the car without me! -Baby"
Thanks all for sounding in! Wow, this really opened my eyes that so many people are saying they can't see how this happens. I DO see it and it breaks my heart and makes me fear it could happen to us. I know this post is unlike what most of my posts but I felt "urged" to post it for some reason. I even told the Hubby that I may never know why I was prompted so strongly to write about it, (typos and all), but it's off my conscience now.
ReplyDeleteKaren Deb, I don't think I've ever had the nekked dream, I just miss school or my job a lot and spend the whole dream worrying about the consequences. :-)
I'm feeling a little inadequate now. I feel like I have no safety/preventative measures in place for anything. I will have to get going on this...the teddy bear idea is great! I also read one of the readers mentioning a monthly fire drill...that is another thing I want to incorporate into our household. That's something that is so fatal so fast if your prepared or not, but I imagine very likely to be fatal if not prepared!
ReplyDeleteIt is amazing what we dream about. I do not think that I have ever dreamed about cleaning.
ReplyDeleteYou wont ever leave the baby in the car after that dream.
Those stories, and there are too many of them, are horrific. I think the teddy bear system is a great idea. You should market it.
ReplyDeleteWhat a scary dream! That teddy bear idea is a great idea! Since I don't have children (yet) I haven't had to worry about that! I am such a forgetful person though I will probably need something in place!
ReplyDeleteI love the teddy bear idea! That is really a great idea.
ReplyDeleteyes, I did this once with Jonathan...the sitter is right down the street from from my office and I pulled into the office before going there, started to get out of the car and saw him blinking at me from the back seat. yes, the rear-facing car seat didn't help much either.
So, I know how it can happen, but I can't imagine I would have gone all day without remembering I'd left him in the car!`
I had insanity by my side when they were younger. I was neurotic and totally fixated on them. Not much room for error. And I was in the commander's seat. I didn't let that vary. Not effective for everyone, I realize.
ReplyDeleteThere was a story in my area about a woman who left her baby in the car by accident. The husband usually dropped the baby off at daycare but couldn't so the mom did it. The baby fell asleep and the mom forgot she was even in the carseat. That story haunts my dreams. I can't imagine what that poor woman goes through on a daily basis after that. I guess the story goes on further about how sleep deprived she had been after having a new baby and also caring for her son who has autism. I prayed for that woman for a year, and now you just reminded me to add her to my prayers again.
ReplyDeleteThat is such a good idea about the teddy bear. Brilliant!
For me, the boys are ALWAYS with me so it would be more normal for me to turn around to get them out of their seats and them NOT be there (say, if I DO get a chance to go on a car ride by myself) than the reverse.
ANYWAY- sorry for the novel but I also wanted to tell you (since you have the Do You Follow Me thingie in your sidebar) that I do follow you, but in my Google reader. Just wanted you to know you are one of my must reads. :)
That's scary. I THINK (not sure), that the more kids you have, the easier it is to do this. When our second was born, I was driving once and couldn't see her or hear her (unusual not to hear her) and couldn't remember if I had brought her. I had, but extra kids change routines, and as the older ones start doing other things the routines change more. This couldn't happen to me now (they're old enough to get out if something like that happened), but I think your teddy bear system in a good idea.
ReplyDelete