I have five children.
The oldest is 2o years old.
I have been a parent for a little over twenty years.
The first 18 of those years, I only had boys.
Boys wipe boogers in places you don't discover until AFTER guests have gone.
They poop in unusual places as well.
When they walk in their sleep, they will sometimes pee in places that can be unsettling.
Some boys have an amazing gag reflex that can cause vomiting in theaters and restaurants.
Armed with this information (ie: I am not a brand new mother of my first child and just now experiencing the "joys" that come with parenting),
can someone please tell me,
does anyone else out here have a toddler they think could just possibly do them in?
I am so glad to be able to answer no to this one. But I also know that it will pass, it'll get better. My brutal child is eleven. Brutal in different ways now. Make sure you have the number of the local insane asylum at hand at all times.
ReplyDeleteAs the mother of 3 boys I will answer loudly with a YES! They are trying to kill me slowly. I find boogers in places, and poop, and they sleep walk. Is it possible to die from lack of sleep? If so I need to be very careful.
ReplyDeleteYup. I can empathize. I keep thinking that maybe I am just not remembering this phase of the older kids' lives correctly, but that's not it. (For example, I am typing this on a keyboard with a faulty space bar, because he pried it off months ago and it has never been the same since. This is why I so rarely blog, and it takes me 13 minutes to write a comment). Anyway, I adore him, and wouldn't change him for the world. But that doesn't mean that I am not praying that his baby brother doesn't learn from his example!
ReplyDeleteMy four kids are ages 30-19(2-girls&2-boys)...You are taking me for a trip down memory lane! If it helps, they do grow up and move out! Truth is, you do miss it! (A LOT)
ReplyDeleteYES, the mood swings of my girl has almost driven me to drink.
ReplyDeleteWell Megan isn't a toddler anymore but OMG somedays I want to rip my hair out she is the most stubborn, whiney, and needy child I have. My boys werent like this and my other daughter wasnt even this bad.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad to say that I have only two offspring, both of which are teenagers, AND I have survived the path through toddlerdom--I know that's probably not a word and too bad I'm using it just the same (well, at least toddlerdom is over until grandchildren start arriving, which I hope isn't for a few years yet!!)
ReplyDeleteAll that being said (in what surely was a run-on sentence or improper in some way) I feel for you and do remember those days only too well.
You will make it through to the other side, I promise. Deep breath, count to ten, and take another step. You'll get there. :D
Ay yi yi - what has little Miss Ky been up to? I am afraid to ask.
ReplyDeleteYes. Yes, I do.
ReplyDeleteWe don't call Ben "destructor" for nothing.
Could you imagine if Miss Ky and Ben got together for a playdate? God help us.
YES!!!!! my youngest at 3 1/2 (almost) makes me want to tear my hair out--all.the.time.
ReplyDeletei wish he would toilet train. i wish that he wouldn't throw a complete fit every time i try and get him to pick up his toys, or get off the computer, or eat his lunch, or change his diaper, or get dressed, or turn the tv off....is there a pattern here?
i'm with you---even if there is an ocean between us. :)
I'm in your 'clan', count my 2 boys in!
ReplyDeleteMy girl is WAY more work than my boys ever were!!!
ReplyDeleteI guess I should stop saying that I only want boys...I guess they have just as many issues as girls--only theirs is stinkier! :)
ReplyDeleteYup. Mine! Actually not any more. But boy it was close. Like you, parenting has gone on a bit, and having toddler around at age of 45,46 was well 'ard, as they say. Now I am Mrs Smug. They are all at school. And can now say condescending things to other mothers not quite so fortunate.
ReplyDeleteGo, girl. We'll hate it when they are all up and gone. (I think).X
Oh, heck, I did. Now she's 8 and I still feel done in!
ReplyDeletewow... so I don't read for a couple days because my kids are sick and your house goes nuts! I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteAnd ya, I've had 3 toddlers that I thought were going to do me in. Presently it is Princess Olivia's job to torture me.
I'm sorry about the head lice. That truly sucks.
wow.
If it makes you feel any better my life is total crap right now too :)
Oh, hon. I feel that way with my first - I can only imagine what a 5th would do to you. I hope you get a breather this weekend.
ReplyDeleteUmmm who gives you a break? Mom's need nannies, babysitters, you know a rest. Does she have safe places to play outside? Sand box, mud pies, a small fenced in area where she can't get hurt?
ReplyDeleteIf you weren't so far away I'd come swoop her up and give you some time off. your just tired. And the lice that will push anyone over the edge.
Maybe pretty soon the cool house will come up for rent. God is in control!!
Prayers going up!
Ha! I don't, anymore....but at one time I thought his colic would...yep, thought I was gonna die!
ReplyDeleteWell, they're not quite there yet, but thanks for the heads up. I think I'll just go kill myself now!!
ReplyDeleteBTW good luck!!!
All grown up...I want them back.
ReplyDeleteMy son has been gone for years & I'm still finding boogers, lol.
ReplyDeleteGirls can drive you crazy as well, but at least they don't wipe boogers everywhere.
By the way, I have something for you over at my blog.
I've only got boy children and I have to admit *whispers* I'm a little bit scared of girl children. I love them at dance class but I think mothering them looks way more complicated.
ReplyDeleteIt's the girl thing...girls are a totally different, dangerous breed :)
ReplyDeleteGawd, boys are disgusting. Mine is 17 and is still gross. He is always scratching his balls.
ReplyDelete#2's son talks about poop constantly.
#1
I almost just jumped out of my seat. But that would've upset the toddler who won't give up my lap.
ReplyDeleteAs I picked up all of her books for the fourth time today, sighed at my laundry, and started crying for the third time this evening because she's so stubborn, I wondered to myself if anyone else out there was closing their eyes and dreaming of a four wall padded paradise.
Now I know.
Want to share a cell? I won't talk. Promise.
Badge Time!
ReplyDeleteBadge Time!
Here's the badge
It's never fadge
It makes me wanna wag my tadge
When it rains I wanna yadge
Badge!
(I knew you'd get that.)
Oh - duh.. head over to my blog - it's a BADGE for you, lady!!
ReplyDeleteI swear my toddlers were out to kill me. Little crazed tribal midgets they were!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I'm going on the record as saying YOU'RE NOT OLD.
ReplyDeleteSecond, I think it's our age. By the time the baby comes around we're just too tired to care or fight any longer.
duct tape.
ReplyDelete;)
I hereby testify that the child destined to do me in is turning 10 on the 13th and has grown into the most precious and wonderful little thing you could ever imagine. Is she still headstrong? YES! Does she still exasperate me? AFFIRMATIVE! Would I have her any other way if given the opportunity for a re-do? NEVER!!!!
ReplyDeleteHang on sweet friend. Tea party days are coming . . . Don't give up hope.
Signed,
Mother of a dear daughter who thought undies and rubber boots constituted fully-dressed; who believed everything belonged to her and proved it by giving away her sister's belongings as Christmas gifts (to OTHER people); who loudly announced she was smart enough and done with schooling at age 5 . . . and so the list goes. I know of what I speak -- she will grow on you. I promise! ; )
I have an almost 19 year old, 16 year old and 4 year old. What do YOU think??? =)
ReplyDeleteThey need a "child swap" like a card, recipe, book swap party!! Difference is..no backsies!!! tehe
ReplyDeletemine are and always have been...perfect. absolutely perfect. i know. i'm so lucky. how do i do it, you ask? i was just blessed. i'm sorry to hear how awful your children are. bwahahahahaha...ahem...ok, we'll i'm off to go buy a new whip. the last one broke after i beat my daughter senseless for her room being a mess...
ReplyDeleteYES! My 2.5 year old daughter wears me out. But ohhh, that face. That impish grin. She knows how to turn me to jello.
ReplyDeleteAhh, your blog is so pretty!
Um yeah. Boys are amazing... in so many ways. I'm not sure I can tell you the many times I've discovered that my kids have showered their bedroom in pee (WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?) or that my youngest son pooped behind the dumpster last summer (again, what was he thinking?) I hope I live through them, and I hope my daughter does, too. Yikes!
ReplyDeleteIt's a good thing they're such cute little buggers some times.
ReplyDelete