Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Dear Obtuse Person I live With...

...All I wanted was a little lie-in. Just one. I'm tired. I have been lifting heavy furniture, moving heavy boxes and cleaning new and old houses all while caring for our family-- keeping up with your laundry and theirs. I have cooked you a hot meal all but one of those nights, despite the fact that I just wanted a nap. Each night at midnight when I've dropped into bed and complained that I hurt, you laughed.

I did point out just today that the other wives we know wouldn't have been able to help carry four wardrobes down a flight of stairs and load them into a vehicle, so I resent that A. you always expect me to do this (don't you know any men?!) and B. have the nerve to laugh when I tell you I'm hurting. Holy cow, I am 44 years old and have birthed five huge basketballs, when do I get to stop acting like I'm a 24-year old body builder?

I also am a little resentful of the fact that I have had to be your personal secretary to keep you focused.

So, sue me, I threw a little hissy when Friday night rolled around and you talked of setting your alarm for 6 am on Saturday morning. I explained that I was tired and it would possibly be the last lie-in I had for 6 months. You wanted to set the alarm to get a head start on going into town to buy caulk. Caulk won't wait until 9? You relented, didn't set the alarm, but did blind me awake with lights by 7.
Thanks. Oh, by the way... nothing has been caulked.

Two more days came and went while you were "standing by" (waiting for that call that would tell you when you were leaving) and I got up and fed the kids, dressed them, packed their lunches. You did manage to come down by the time they left for school.

Tonight you are at a football game and two of the boys are throwing things in the house and Miss Ky is chasing them, having thrown her dinner down for extra floor padding for her feet. Again, sue me, I came to blogland to keep from taking my frustration out on them.

I am not a "hinter". I do not sit on my hands and hope you know what I need. All I wanted was a lie-in. Was it so much to ask?

Sincerely,
The person you live with that could easily keep a few boxes packed for an easy escape.

30 comments:

  1. How I wished I lived closer (and not just because I want to look at that aga thing)When my kids were all young and I desperately needed a nap this WONDERFUL woman started taking my kids for 3 hours a week just so I could do that and I have tried to pay it forward ever since. I think it's the reason I am only a little crazy now--instead of all out loopy--and that my children are still alive--seriously.
    About the obtuse person--I have a few ideas--but probably shouldn't write them. I am sorry tho--hang in there!

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  2. Get yourself a baseball bat to make your argument a little stronger. Sometimes men need that. You know? And a roll or two of duct tape for the children so you get your lie-in.

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  3. Hmm, this does not sound pleasant. I like the baseball bat idea. Good luck.

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  4. I'm with Flea. Also, Mental Mama has a point too, "Testosterone--makes 'em stupid."

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  5. Boy, and I thought I was the only one who knew that testosterone was the "jerkface" hormone.
    And no, asking for a lie in once every six months is not asking for too much. It is unfortunate that the male species does not have constant functioning of their "empathy" and "consideration" brain chips.
    I feel your pain, sister...and FIVE basketballs? Holy. (I am bowing down to you right now)

    Andrea:)

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  6. To get a lie-in try turning the alarm clock back so that it is an hour or two slow.

    I too have a husband that has to go to B&Q every week to buy something which does not get used for another month. It must be a man thing.

    Hope you get a lie-in this weekend.

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  7. Oh that sucks. At least you have your blog to vent. I showed my blog to mine and now I don't feel comfortable venting on it. Take Care of you!

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  8. That's why their weiner only averages 6 inches long. So you can't wrap it around their necks and strangle them with it.

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  9. Put a sign on your door that says, "I'm On Strike." Do not come out unless the three b's are involved; Blood , Broken Bones, or Bodies.

    I just read this week, "if it's got tires or testosterone, it's bound to give you trouble." Truth in print.

    Hang in there!

    Blessings, Carolynn

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  10. 4 words....

    cast iron frying pan


    peace
    #2

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  11. the INSENSITIVITY!!!!! how dare he----gotta love the man, eh? hang in there jeri!

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  12. They just don't get it so they? Hugs, hopefully you can get a little breather at some point.

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  13. 6am on a Saturday morning? That's absurd! I love the part about you birthing 5 big basketballs.

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  14. Sweetest, I wish I was on your side of the pond. I'd let you sleep until noon & then would bring you a cuppa and a scone with cream. Shame on hubby. I hope you get to rest up before the call comes.

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  15. What...no shoulder/back rub?! Not even sleeping in. Headache ring a bell...tehe! Hugs...and more Hugs!!

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  16. Hey - Aren't you supposed to be thankful you're not having to milk the cows & scrub the laundry by hand before you hang it up outside? Oh Wait! That was before electricity was invented.

    MPM is right, as usual. Testosterone and stupid Are synonymous when speaking of the (ahem!) weaker sex. I'd say the ones who DON'T have babies are the weaker sex...

    Apparently, we're all married to basically the same man.... at times. One year, I had to go and pick up carry-out for my birthday dinner because a football game was on & he just couldn't miss 15 minutes of it, lol. I'm just sayin'.

    ;-)

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  17. AND nothin's caulked? Oh, them's fighting words!

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  18. Seriously men are STUPID sometimes. I would be handing him that caulk gun and tell him baby dont come to bed til the house is caulked. Then I would do like I did when the kids were babies and I didnt think he got up enough elbow him to get up with the kids and then roll over and go back to sleep. He knew better than to ignore the jabbing elbow .... lol.
    I hope you get a lie in soon.

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  19. I agree with Mental P Mama! HA! So true!

    I often think I spoil the crap out of my husband and he doesn't even realize it. Maybe it is my fault for being such a toughie all the time. He comes to expect it. He doesn't know what a good sport I am. And man, that pisses me off.

    I hope you print this out and hand it to your man. He definitely needs to know.

    You rock!

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  20. I am so glad that you are able to vent through your blog - and like many of your other blogging friends - if I lived closer I would be there to help. It is time for a sit down, honest talk, without kids around somehow. Wish I could do more - sending hugs your way!

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  21. I laughed till I was beside myself...I laughed because I think I may be you...but nearly 20 years from now you and nothing changes...here is something to prove it...please, read all the way to the end you're gonna love it!
    Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him that he has only 24 hours to live.


    Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex.


    Naturally, she agrees, so they make love.


    About 6 hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says,


    "Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live.


    Could we please do it one more time?"


    Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again.


    Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left.


    He touches his wife's shoulder and asks,


    "Honey, please... just one more time before I die."


    She says, "Of course, Dear," and they make love for the third time.


    After this session, the wife rolls over and falls to sleep.


    Morris, however, worried about his impending death, tosses and turns, until he's down to 4 more hours.


    He taps his wife, who rouses. "Honey, I have only 4 more hou rs.


    Do you think we could..."


    At this point the wife sits up and says, "Listen Morris,


    I have to get up in the morning... you don't."


    Hugs...now get a nap! And that's an order!!!
    Sandi

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  22. I'm so sorry. I would be extremely pissed that I was awake because of lights at 7 in the morning. WTF! What was he thinking? Oh, wait; obviously he wasn't or being considerate.

    Sorry I wasn't here for you yesterday. I was without a computer and lost as all get out.

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  23. Well...
    I'm not wading into anything here. But I will just hope that things get worked out.
    And yeah, men...sometimes obtuse doesn't begin to describe us.
    Good luck.

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  24. aren't you glad that you've got this avenue to vent all that out? you needed to get this post out as much as you needed your bed...

    hope 'the person' gets to read this!!!

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  25. Ack! He didn't even get the apparently all-important caulking done after all the drama of getting up early? OHHH that's trouble!

    I'm sorry. Just know you aren't alone. My honey never helps put the little monsters to bed then complains when I come in 'too late' for some nookie. Hello?

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  26. Men are just so totally clueless sometimes. I'm sorry I'm late in coming around to read what you have to say here. I'm trying to get caught up on things here. You definitely are not alone. I think being obtuse is just the nature of the beast sometimes, unfortunately.

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  27. Oh dear! Wish I was there to help you. Found you through Blog Around The World, I have two basketballs, and am currently finishing New Moon (slowly cause I don't want it to end). Yes, men can be so clueless. I have been complaining about the same crap for years now. I am ready to give up on house cleaning. What's the point when 30 minutes later it is all just trashed again. And the whole sleeping thing, oh my gosh! Why can't people be quiet and let Mama sleep in for a change. I have discovered that I do better with one of those covers over my eyes. I will try to send some energy your way! Hope you will stop by and see me and to chat soon! xoxo Rhonda..

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  28. Men are such dumbasses !!

    #1

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